Would you say something to nursery about this?

[MaMoosie]

Not sure if this will make it into a huge deal.

Left my 3 year old opening his Christmas cards from his nursery friends today while I was cooking dinner. Came down to check on him and he was eating a chocolate coin that has been put in one of his cards and he had a dairy allergy. He’s ok, but I do know there is a child in his class who has quite severe allergies. I know it’s probably too late as the cards were handed out today but thinking of mentioning it to them tomorrow to maybe let the parent know not to put allergens in the Christmas cards?

Or will I be THAT parent…

I thought it was the staff. If it came from the parents then I don't think you can legitimately say anything, they can't control everything that - technically - happened outside of nursery.

I think you need to consider what you want the reasonable outcome to be, rather than complaining about the coin. It would be a shame if they cancelled the tradition to exchange cards altogether.
You could suggest to them that sending information to other parents about allergies and best practices on a regular basis could be helpful? Our nursery send something like this once a year about being nut free.

Actually OP this is ABSOLUTELY something to raise with nursery. The nursery sent your child home with something that he is allergic to. I would say that it is for them to manage - either they do not permit the handing out of food brought in by parents on their premises or they make sure that kids with allergies are not given an allergen. Our nursery wouldn’t want this to happen but they’d want to know if it did and I know they’d be straight on it with comms on the app.

Our school do not allow it either. Keeping kids safe has to be the priority. It’s all very well telling kids not to eat without checking but 3 is young!

I’m going to mention it, clear conscience and all. But no, I’m not kicking up a fuss and never planned to. This is just something I’ve never come across before and no it’s never occurred to me to supervise card opening.

You are at fault

The nursery will just refuse to be a distribution point for christmas cards.

I would mention it too.

I've got two older teen DC. Never received sweets or chocolate in cards.

If a child has an allergy their parents need to teach them not to eat anything without checking it with a trusted adult first. Obviously the nursery can, if they want, ban children from sharing food or bringing certain foods in at all, but it's possible a parent would put something in even if it wasn't "allowed". Plus no-one has the power to stop a child trying to share their food with others at the park or playcentre. Unless the child with the allergy is prevented from entering public settings entirely, they are at risk unless they know not to eat anything without checking.

That’s not a Scrooge reaction. I don’t want you giving my kid some shit processed mini muffin to make yourself feel good thank you very much.

I’m sick of people constantly giving my kids sweets, cake and chocolate at random times. It’s your kids bday not mine.

These days it seems like with class bdays 30 x a year, various treat days like end of term or sports day, celebrations like Xmas and Easter and god knows what else they seem to come out clutching some form of Haribo or chocolate more days than they don’t.

Then in the same breath we are weighing little kids and trying to teach them food isn’t a reward and to limit sweet and processed food. It’s so messed up.

We decide as a family if and when to offer that kind of food. This country is insane with its need to constant ply kids with shit just because.

I’ve never seen coins in cards and FFs why on earth do we need to start doing that?

Yes I’d ask school to tell parents to stop it tbh not just warn others they might be doing it.

@Coffeemmmmcoffee WELL SAID.

Allergies aside, do any parents actually want their kids to be given sugary crap by other adults? Who actually gains from this?

Of course that is good practice, but in reality a lot of nursery aged children are going to be too young to reliably check everything. Of course that means parents of children who aren’t yet able to check with an adult before putting things in their mouths/ eating them should supervise them around food, but a Christmas card is not usually a food item! I would never expect somebody to put something edible in a card, especially for young children; lots of parents I know try and avoid giving their little kids chocolate/ sugar irrespective of allergies. I guess once you know there are parents putting food into cards it is then your responsibility, but I’m sure there are lots of people who wouldn’t expect this. I wouldn’t! I’ve been a teacher 20 years but never seen it.

Is there a chance it could be a dairy/soy free chocolate coin?

Although it’s a bit weird of the other parent to do stick a coin in the card but I guess they weren’t really thinking 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would say something not to tell the nursery off )make that clear) but to ask them to put the message out to the parents

I’m quite old and have never heard of chocolate inside a Christmas card. And I do have young children in the family with allergies and they have never heard of this either.

In the pre school where i work the children bring in lunch boxes and are not allowed share food. However they are kids so of course there is an element of risk. The parents were issued with a message at the start of the year specifying certain allergens present in the room. The only banned item was nuts but they knew someone was coeliac or lactose intolerant for example, but we couldn't give the name of that child. The children were warned at home and at school not to share food. If you asked me to issue a warning to the group that your DS has this allergy I would happily do it. It's not a big deal. However as the mother I think you need to tell other parents as you meet them or if you are in any messaging group.

In DSs primary school a child had a very severe but uncommon allergy. We received the official school email but the mother in question reminded us at the end of every term and always thanked us for our continued cooperation. She listed some popular lunchbox items that had the allergen in them as some people (me included) didnt realise and she would send photos of a particular brand of a product that didn't have the allergen and where to buy it. I felt she handled it very well with her open manner and grateful attitude.

I have 2 children with food allergies and we've also never had chocolate coins in a Christmas card. Most of the kids open them in school anyway.
Although last week one mum gave cards out in nursery with huge candy canes stuck on the envelope. (Nightmare for us)

Myself and other staff in my early years setting would understand you letting us know about this.

I have a child with a dairy allergy and this has happened to us loads of times. He is 5 now but has been able to ask if things are dairy free for quite a while now.
Unfortunately I think you need to check cards and stuff before he gets them.
I know it's a pain for them and they can get upset. My son recently won an advent calendar and of course it was milk chocolate so he couldn't have it. He just said thanks, gave it to his friend and I replaced it with a dairy free one.
If it was the nursery itself giving him things with milk then I'd definitely raise it but as it's not then I probably wouldn't.

I don't think it hurts to mention it. My children's school puts a note out in the newsletter saying please don't include any sweets with Christmas cards because there are students with allergies. It's pretty common here (and was since I was a child) to put candy canes or chocolates with Christmas cards, so I'd have been supervising but if you didn't know, at least he's okay and you know for the future to check.