Would you say something to nursery about this?

[MaMoosie]

Not sure if this will make it into a huge deal.

Left my 3 year old opening his Christmas cards from his nursery friends today while I was cooking dinner. Came down to check on him and he was eating a chocolate coin that has been put in one of his cards and he had a dairy allergy. He’s ok, but I do know there is a child in his class who has quite severe allergies. I know it’s probably too late as the cards were handed out today but thinking of mentioning it to them tomorrow to maybe let the parent know not to put allergens in the Christmas cards?

Or will I be THAT parent…

No parents should not be doing this. Not nowadays, when there are so many people with allergies. They should stick to giving their own children sweets/ chocolates, and not other people's at school, or nursery.

I don't really understand the attitude of MY child is fine but I wouldn't mention anything so other parents would be aware.
Wouldn't you feel bad if you heard another child later had a reaction and you hadn't made the nursery aware so they could let other parents know?

Hopefully now it would occur to you that lots of parents wouldn't expect food in a Christmas card!
Maybe the other parents at the nursery are the same - some assuming cards won't contain food, some assuming everyone will check if cards contain food.
So makes sense for the nursery to let people know it is something to consider.

No of course I wouldn’t feel bad that another parent hadn’t supervised their child at home as that’s not my responsibility? My job is to protect my own severely allergic child from harm and is something I have to own. I don’t expect other parents or care providers to give me the heads up to look after my child on my watch- it’s just what I have to do as a matter of course. And if you do rely on that as a parent of a child with allergies you might have a good few blue light trips to A&E if and when someone forgets to tell you something food related.

Its super common for chocolate coins to be put in cards. Both my children, there have been coins in almost every card they've received.

It is on you to teach your child to never eat anything without checking.

At my childs nursery there were children with allergies to:
Soy
Wheat
Fish
Egg
Dairy
Strawberries
Kiwis
Citrus
Capsaicin (in peppers & chili)
Nuts
Fava beans

Plus other stuff i can't remember.

The nursery had to send out a letter referring parents to allergy uk advice which is not to ban foods. So many parents wanted a total ban on everything. There were so many allergies they couldn't ban all the foods without compromising the quality of the other children's diets.

Is this your first child? About 30% of the xmas cards my kids get have chocolate coins in them.

This is definitely something you just need to watch out for.

Wow, that's not an attitude I can relate to at all. My children's friends and classmates might not be my responsibility but I wouldn't want harm to come to them.

Of course I don’t want kids to be harmed either :-| but I can’t parent children that aren't my responsibility and I don’t personally put food in Christmas cards so I’m not sure who all these hypothetical children you think I’m harming are?

I don't think it's all that common to have chocolate or sweets in cards - I don't remember experiencing that at all when my kids were at nursery. And if your first child is at nursery then you may not ever have experienced it before.

Not sure why people would be so against warning parents on the basis that they should just know already - clearly not everyone does know so what's the harm in letting them know?

What's the objection to just letting other parents know then?

No he’s my youngest! I’ve never come across food in a card before

I would expect a parent to be surpervising a 3yo opening cards if that child had any restrictions whatsoever. Even if the nursery sends clear messaging, they did not pack the cards themselves. It is easy for a busy parent to make a mistake.

I'm really surprised at that. Maybe it's much more common over the last few years. Or maybe just something that's really popular where I live.

This is strange. I said I wouldn’t personally raise it with nursery and gave very clear reasons as to why which will ultimately keep the child safer than relying on other people (such as supervising the child at home) but I don’t object to it.

Thing is, if you make it a nursery problem, liklihood is they'll just ban cards being brought in and exchanged. Presumably it's an extra ball ache for them anyway having to sort them out and distribute them.... I think they'll just not bother if you put this on them as well.

No, not sure why that’s such a difficult concept for you to grasp?

It's not really a problem though, is it? Nursery just need to tell parents that cards might have food items in them.

My oldest is 14 and I don't remember ever getting chocolate in cards. Though I'd also never thought I needed to supervise card opening.

NO

And if they don't listen, or forget, or don't know, or don't care? The nursery will feel responsible. I'm a cm and I wouldn't bother if a parent put me in the position of stopping food gifts from other people.