Would you say something to nursery about this?

[MaMoosie]

Not sure if this will make it into a huge deal.

Left my 3 year old opening his Christmas cards from his nursery friends today while I was cooking dinner. Came down to check on him and he was eating a chocolate coin that has been put in one of his cards and he had a dairy allergy. He’s ok, but I do know there is a child in his class who has quite severe allergies. I know it’s probably too late as the cards were handed out today but thinking of mentioning it to them tomorrow to maybe let the parent know not to put allergens in the Christmas cards?

Or will I be THAT parent…

Absolutely say something, my child was dairy free and this happened at primary school when the kids were opening them at the end of the day or on the way home. Apart from being dairy I didn’t really want either of my kids eating chocolate at that time before tea.

How would they nursery have known there was chocolate in the cards? It's not something they could control. Even then, when he's at home, it's your responsibility. Not theirs.

I'm a childminder and it would not bother me at all to just say to parents (or send a message out) about it. But I also let parents give out sweets for birthdays, I just let the other parents know so they can decide to give it or not. Never caused a problem.

I've just asked him and he also doesn't remember ever having chocolate inside a card.

I have one that age with a food allergy. It’s so hard right now - they’re old enough to get ahold of food independently if we’re not vigilant but too young to watch out for allergens themselves or understand why it’s a problem.

I wouldn’t say anything to the nursery, no. The nursery didn’t provide the cards or contents, they didn’t make any claims to have checked them, and they deliberately didn’t allow children to open them at school - everything was sent straight on for each child to open once they were at home in a parents’ care. You would have known if any instructions or reminders had been sent to parents about allergies or not. And as a pp pointed out there are so many different allergies and safety concerns with small objects (for the students or for siblings) that the only thing a nursery could really do is tell parents not to put anything but a card in there which would be a bit sad.

My DH and I have both had near-misses and actual misses with allergens where we didn’t think to check something or put something out of reach when unattended. It’s stressful and upsetting, but it’s part of allergy life.

Ok, you send a message out and someone still does it? So parents will still have to monitor their children with allergies who are opening cards.... just in case. Which is exactly what should have happened in the first place.....just in case.

I’m a teacher and have never seen or heard of kids putting chocolate coins in cards; I would absolutely let the nursery know so they can warn other parents as I wouldn’t consider this to be the norm and most people wouldn’t feel the need to monitor a child opening cards. Presents yes, but cards are usually just that, cards. Most people wouldn’t consider there could be an allergen or anything harmful to their child in a Christmas card!

I've got 5 kids from older teen to 7 and none of them have ever had a chocolate coin in a Christmas card. They've had chocolate coins many times, but never in a card. Is this in the UK?

The second really isn’t a reason though.
It’s like the scrooges who don’t want mini birthday muffins handed out at the end of the day because their child won’t eat their dinner.

I think the problem of mentioning it to nursery is that, as others have said, they then put a stop to handing out cards.
I imagine the parent was simply doing something nice, and if a message got sent out saying about allergies they might for one thing feel guilty having not considered this but also secondly stop doing nice things for others in fear they might get it wrong again.
As it is a nursery child I would have expected them to be opening cards with a parent/carer.

The cards are all likely to have gone home today, so it’s unlikely a warning now would do any good.

But I think most parents would supervise the opening of the cards incase of food, glitter, confetti, etc.

Yes - that's the point isn't it? If you let parents know that there might be food items in the card then they will know if they need to supervise Like if you say there's haribo coming home in their bags today from Bob's birthday.

It’s definitely a thing at my kids school- probably 50% of cards are given with chocolate or candy canes in but interesting to hear it’s not standard everywhere.

Yes I agree it's fine to mention it, but also if you have a child with an allergy you need to be monitoring the card opening.

Well they’d feel a lot more guilty if they continue to give out cards with allergens and a child has an anaphylactic shock and they have to live with that! I’d rather feel a bit guilty I sent something with the potential to harm to a child without thinking for a bit and then never do it again than keep doing it and risk a child having a serious reaction!

Even if children are opening with parents it’s a bit mean to put in foods you know might be allergens to some, so that child opens the card, wants the treat but parents have to say no and then have a meltdown to deal with. Better to just omit the chocolate altogether and leave the parents to decide if they want to give their child chocolate!

People are putting glitter and confetti in cards now too??

What happened to just doing those class packs of 30 mini cards 😂

This was completely your fault!

This happens all the time at school. So you will most likely get 25 coins in cards when he starts school. It is on you to check the contents for your child.

That's not what OP wants to do though! @AllYearsAround

but thinking of mentioning it to them tomorrow to maybe let the parent know not to put allergens in the Christmas cards?

This is what I'm replying to! Not what you would do in your setting....

It's not for nursery to police Christmas cards.

Onus is on you being the parent chalk it up as one to check/do with your child.

This is an interesting thread as we've received cards via nursery with chocolate coins and haribo several times. The first time my LO came home with haribo shocked me as I felt they were a chocking hazard but I was with her to supervise. So it's on the parent to be aware of what is coming home especially if your child has an allergy. I think the parents think they're doing something really lovely adding coins and sweets to the card. Like anything in life we can't control what our child comes into contact with but we can teach them to ask you first and know what they can and can't have if they have an allergy.

Another consideration is being “that allergy mum”. I’ve taken the approach of doing whatever I can to support normal nursery/school life such as always organising my child’s ingredients for cooking/baking at school, brining a suitable party tea or food at play dates, not making a fuss when my child is handed something they can’t eat etc. I never want him to be excluded as including him is a pita and his mum makes life harder and a bit less fun for everyone. I’m not saying this is the only or best approach, but it works for us so far.

I'd mention it to the nursery but gently.