Our cousins took our inheritance and gave it to their mother, I feel I can't carry on acting as if nothing has happened

[NeshButUpNorth]

My deceased mother had brothers and a sister. One deceased brother and the surviving sister (i.e. our aunt) had kids. We used to go on shared holidays twice a year with our aunt's kids, we've always got on well.

Our bachelor uncle died 2 years ago, with no will. When we were chatting a few months later, my aunt's eldest told me that they were going to try to "so what my uncle would have wanted". I assumed my cousin would contact me and my sister in the future to discuss this, since they would need us to sign off anything that would change the legally defined distribution (which is 1/6 each to me and my sister), since it would be a criminal offence to do otherwise, which my cousin must know, since their spouse is a director of a legal company.

A few months after my uncle died, my sister was diagnosed with incurable cancer, with months, possibly a year or two to live. She had to go on sick leave for the chemo and radiation treatment, etc. After 6 months, her sick pay dropped to 50%, and after a year was due to end. She asked me what was happening with our uncle's estate, this being around 18 months after he died, with the house sold 6 months previously. I had received no updates, so she sent a facebook message to our cousin who was dealing with the estate, asking for an update and she described her health/finance situation. To our surprise, our cousin told us that they had given all the money to my aunt, rather than the 1/3 share the law defined.

I was baffled why they'd do this without getting legal documents with our consent first. Before I had a chance to form any further opinion, my cousins blocked my sister on messenger and unfriended her on Facebook. I assume that they think that she has done something so awful that she should be shunned and disowned.

Since then, my sister has had no birthday cards from them or my aunt, and no Christmas cards so far, whereas they've carried on liking my family updates on facebook, and have sent me cheery Christmas cards which arrived a couple of days ago. My sister is dwelling on the idea that they've lied on the probate forms, pretending that our mother never existed.

I just feel queasy and sick about it, how can I carry on as normal with them, or visit them at Christmas, even though my sister has told me she doesn't want this to oblige me to distance myself.
I want to explain to them how upsetting this has been, I've lost lots of sleep over this over the past few months, but now Christmas is coming, I feel I should say something, surely if I don't it will look like tacit agreement that I agree with their actions.

I was thinking of writing to my cousin, telling them how unhappy and sad this makes me feel. I feel that they have been so unfair in acting as if my sister has done something wrong, whereas they did not tell us what they planned (hence us having to ask for an update), whereas they have in fact committed a criminal offence (which I might not highlight). I had been wishfully imagining that my aunt might be unaware of all this, but then when I woke up too early again today fretting about this, I realised that if she hasn't sent my sister a Christmas card, then she must know all about it.

Initially I had been thinking for months to send a letter explaining how I feel to my cousin. Then after realising that my aunt must know about this, I've been trying to write a letter to send to my aunt this morning, to send with a Christmas card, since she asked how we are in the card she sent to me.
Surely that's the best option. Then I felt ill writing it, then decided to ask for advice here.

I definitely can't just carry on as normal, and I don't think I can say nothing.

Even if someone was expecting a gift, and even if they have seen the will…

the trust is still on the executor. In our case the executor simply said “he had no money left to distribute”

this was clearly untrue, but to prove it I need the accounts off the executor. Who obviously won’t provide them. Even if they do it’s easy to leave payments off - x in bank, y for funeral, and not mention the premium bonds and tax rebates that are paid directly to the executor…

then you’re looking at court action and ££££. Only you don’t have any proof that they’ve missed these funds, you have to find something like £10-50k in legal fees..at this point most give up, and the executor is free and clear.

@NeshButUpNorth

So, it sounds as if you're speaking of ~ £30k total. You might be able to start by getting a solicitor to send a letter to outline the law and saying you and Sis will be suing unless the cousin pays your share voluntarily.

If that doesn't work, I guess first I'd find out what the approximate cost of actually suing would be from a solicitor. Because their costs and fees must be factored in to any possible award. I don't know if UK solicitors work on a 'contingency basis' but if not, you'll be paying out of pocket if you lose. Then I'd consider the executor's ability to pay if you're awarded that money, as well as any additional legal costs enforcing the order if your cousin/executor tries to avoid paying.

Would the amount you end up with be worth the hassle of 'going legal'? I totally get that what they did was morally wrong and illegal and you may feel that even if you end up with nothing they need to feel the 'might of the law'. You just don't want to end up out of pocket to do that.

And yes, my relationship with a cousin who would do what they did would be dead as a dodo.

You definitely need to speak to a solicitor about this - if they have gone against the Last Will and Testament of someone they could find themselves in serious trouble.

There is no will!
the intestacy rules have not been followed .

If a person dies intestate (without a will) in England, probate is still required. Probate is the legal process of administering the deceased's estate, which includes validating the will (if there is one), paying off any debts and taxes, and distributing the remaining assets to the rightful heirs.

In the case of intestacy, an administrator (usually a close relative) will need to apply for a grant of letters of administration to manage and distribute the estate according to the rules of intestacy. If it is in England then this has not happened and so it sounds to me like the your cousins have decided all the money should go to their Mum and that is not my understanding of the intestacy rules/

In England, when someone dies without a will (intestate), the distribution of their estate is determined by the rules of intestacy, this is not subject to the whim of the family members overseeing the estate, this is law. If someone entitled to inherit, waives their right, that is a different matter but no-one but them can make that decision.. Since your single Uncle died without a will and your Mum (his sister) has already passed away, the estate would typically be divided among the surviving siblings and the children of any deceased siblings (nieces and nephews).

The exact distribution depends on the number of surviving relatives and their relationship to the deceased. So if there were originally 3 siblings, and there is only one left, the remaining sibling would get 50% and the 50% that would have gone to your Mum had she not died, would have been split between her children (you and your sister?).The other nieces and nephews have no right (I believe). If your Aunt is the only sibling still alive, she would inherit the 50% and not her children (they have no right). You and your sister only inherit as you get your Mums share. So Aunty gets 50% of the estate and you get 25% each.

I'm not legal but if it were me, I would apply for a copy of the Probate, (anyone can) and see how much we are talking about here. Its cheap to do only £1.50!

To apply for a copy of the probate in England, you can follow these steps:

Search for the probate record: You can search for a probate record (also known as a grant of representation) online through the GOV.UK website. This service allows you to check if probate has been issued and order a copy of the probate record, including a will if there is one.
Complete the necessary form: If you prefer to apply by post, you can download and fill in form PA1S from the GOV.UK website. This form allows you to search for a grant of representation and order a copy of the probate record.
Submit the form: Send the completed form along with the required fee (currently £1.50) to the address provided on the form. You should receive a response within 4 weeks

If Probate shows there is only a few quid in the estate, forget it, more trouble than its worth and no point in creating legal issues although on point of principle they have been unfair. At least you will know exactly what they have done to you.

But if its thousands, write to the administrator of the estate on behalf of you and your sister and ask them to account for the distributions of the estate as its your understanding that according to the laws of intestacy, you were entitled to a share and so you would like to understand why you haven't. You don't have to be nasty or threatening - wait to see what their explanation is. There could be a valid reason but as administrators they have to account for it. Give them 14 calendar days to reply and send it by recorded delivery (when its delivered, download a copy of the POD from the RM website - you may need this later and or email (ask for a receipt by email), attaching a copy of the Probate.

Wait to see what they say, if its not a valid explanation as in "we decided", well its not up to them to decide, or they don't reply, book an appt with a solicitor. Take the copy Probate, your letter to the your family and reply and a copy of your immediate family tree (Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts and yourselves) with your birth certificates go see a solicitor and ask them to send a letter to the person that administered the Will (it will be on the Probate form) stating your rightful claim and that if you need to take legal action you will be claiming interest on the sums outstanding and also claiming legal costs against them.

They have not considered you and I think the relationship is already spoiled so you have nothing to lose.

OP the law is clear on this. If a sibling dies intestate with no other family, then the surviving full blood siblings are treated as next of kin and inherit equally. If any of them have pre-deceased their sibling, then their share goes to their children. So you and your sister would be legally entitled to your mothers’ share of the inheritance. It would be divided equally between your aunt as the surviving sibling, her other deceased brother’s children, and yourself and your sister as the children of her deceased sister.

Are the cousins dealing with the estate ? If so, who appointed them, given that there is no will ? They can’t just do as they see fit in the guise of ‘what he would have wanted’. They have to follow the law. I would see a solicitor as soon as possible and get them to draft something in writing drawing their attention to the letter of the law and asking that the funds be made available to distribute between those entitled to inherit.

My mum died last year March there were assets and valuations had to be done on a couple of properties. Grant of probate was sent in October and issued first week in February. Just shy of 16 weeks. The poster only wants the £30000 from her mother's account. She didn't mention any other assets. Maybe he/she is working into the money. Our solicitor charged £11000 at the end of it. I had to keep asking for updates. My parents assigned the solicitors to be executors so I had no choice but to leave probate in their hands.

That’s very incorrect.

I am in Australia and my sister died in September. We are currently going through similar as she had no will or children. My sister has never met my Dad’s daughter (half) sister from another marriage) but we had to include the half sister by law as she is treated the same as a full sibling who has grown up with her.

My Mother has had to submit my sister’s birth certificate and my Dad’s death certificate - which shows who his children are.

If the British and Aussie system is similar and they usually are quite similar I would think (we even have Kings Councils) then I find it hard to understand how they’ve gotten away with this,

Are you sure he had no will ?

If your Uncle died without a will which changes everything. You were automatically entitled to this money. This isn’t a case of misinterpreting the will. The intestacy laws (no will) are very clear.

This is potentially probate fraud.

I don’t think the lawyer will be an ordeal if there’s no will - it’s just cut and dry lying and fraud.

@ThatRareUmberJoker ouch- that was a large bill! It’s frustrating when you have to constantly chase for updates despite the high charges.

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

This will help and it’s easy to follow

Sorry too late to edit, but just to add that if these people have their own law firm they should be reported to the Law Society. They haven’t followed the intestacy laws applicable in England and Wales. It’s fraud.

My mum predeceased her mother. My gran did not update her will and so when she died it was clear that my mum's share of the estate went to me and my brothers.

Didn't stop my uncle arguing for months that we were entitled to nothing and my dead mum's share should go to him and my aunt - despite my uncle being left the entire family business when my grandad died (for context my mum's share was £15k).

If they still contact you in a friendly manner, please know that in their hearts, they think you are a soft-hearted sucker, OP. They steal from you and your sister.

They are CFs, I hope you will sue for what you and your sister deserve.

Your relationship with them is dead whether you act or not. Your sister needs the money. A solicitor's letter may dislodge it without you needing to go further but do act on this.

Id be telling them where to stick their Christmas cards tbh.
You need to talk to your sister OP & decide what to do together. You need to stick by each other through this.
Your family are awful. I wouldn't think they'd be much chance of any reconciliation anyway after this. How would you ever sit around a table with them after they've treated you both this way?-and even worse with your sister feeling so afraid & vulnerable.
I really hope you'll both decide to go to a solicitor & fight for what's rightfully yours.

If I am understanding correctly, you and your sister are entitled to 25% each and not 1/6.

Three siblings One Uncle and two Aunts.
Uncle Dies with no children
Your Mum died leaving you two.
Your Aunt has three kids from the sound of it.

I'm assuming you have decided you are entitled to a 6th by counting your Aunt, her kids and yourselves? I don't believe that is correct.

I believe that had your Mum still been alive the monies would have gone 50/50 to your Mum and Aunt. None of the nieces or nephews would have got anything. However as your Mum died, you and your sister inherit your mums share. So Aunty gets 50% and you and your sister share your Mums share. If you chose to waive your right in favour of your sister that would be fine. It is not the administrators place to decide this.

They still need to consult a solicitor

The law is very black and white on this. I’ve just dealt with the estate of my spinster aunt who didn’t leave a will. Her brother (my dad) pre-deceased her, so her estate came to my sister and I. It’s very clear when you go through the process on the Government website - they’ve lied on the forms you submit to get Letters of Administration. I would have thought given they’ve committed a criminal offence, any legal costs you incur by recovering your inheritance would need to be paid by them - if it gets that far.

Did you try application for inventory and account at probate registry?

When my uncle died without a will his 3 living siblings got 1/6 of the estate and the nieces/nephews from the 3 deceased siblings got 1/6 or 1/12 depending on whether they were an only child or not.
Therefore I think your aunt should have received 1/2 and you and your sister 1/4 each.
I would definitely consult a solicitor about this.

This. Get to a solicitor now.

Inheritance and taxation in Australian law is different. Don't go there.

Previous posters are correct if the aunt expects her children to inherit they don't. Only a deceased sibling's children inherit.
I did suggest up thread the op checks her home insurance for cover.

If any of these siblings are half siblings it can complicate things. Please don't take the advice of armchair Rumpoles. You'll lose out.