To think that I understand my own body?

[mylittledoggie]

I've recently lost a bit of weight (always been a healthy weight) and got really into exercise. Running in particular but also gym and cycling.

I'm on the lower end of BMI but quite a small person for my height (small hands, feet, not broad). My diet is quite strict but feel like I'm fuelling my body to do what I need it to do. I feel great!

Getting a lot of negative comments from family! Too skinny, look hagged, not eating right etc. not listening.

I feel good and happier! But should I listen?

Hard to say, if you were a healthy weight and you've lost weight, and you don't want to continue doing so then you might need to consider fuelling your body to do what it is doing without losing any more? Unless the plan is to lose more.

Generally no. It’s jealousy

Too skinny, look hagged

How fucking rude.

If they have actual concern about your health, they can raise that in a different way.

@canyouletthedogoutplease I guess there is a big range of healthy weight! I was about 21/22 BMI now 18/19. My aim is not to lose weight on the scales but I do still have unwanted body fat. But want to gain muscle and strength (hence the gym).

But feeling good eat loads of protein, good carbs, veg etc.

@DarkAndTwisties I agree! Rude! There have been worse comments as well.

Maybe take some photos of yourself now versus when you were heavier and see yourself if you look worse or better.

I've definitely seen a lot of people who looked bad once they got super healthy. It can be very aging. I wouldn't automatically assume it's jealousy.

None of us can tell.

They might have a point (however poorly phrased) or they might just be rude, but generally speaking, for several people to notice, it would suggest you have lost a lot of weight, when you weren't carrying weight in the first place, and seemingly continue to work to lose further weight is unhealthy.

Agree, none of us can tell. It would be a clumsy way of being concerned about you. Or they're just jealous. Are they overweight/ unhealthy?

Obviously their comments were rude, but perhaps the reason they were so outspoken was simply surprise as opposed to jealousy- when you haven't seen someone for a while and they look completely different from how you were expecting them to look (weight change, completely different hairstyle, etc) it can be a bit jarring to start with.

If it's that, the comments should die down as they get used to what you look like now.

Since you sound like you were already within a pretty healthy weight range, they might not have expected to see you looking thinner and so might have been worried that you were seriously ill or something before you told them that it was intentional.

Well obviously having a BMI of 18 means that you are very very slim indeed. I think you just want the orthorexics of mumsnet to praise you for your thinness, don't you.

There comes a point for every woman when she has to choose between her face and her bottom. It sounds like you’re at that point if you’re getting “haggard” comments.

Yeah, I've had a bit of this since losing weight.

As the average weight and size of people has increased drastically in the past decade or so, people probably no longer see slim as being normal or healthy.

Fuck 'em. I feel and look better with less weight on me.

A BMI of 18 is underweight, and suggests you could be malnourished.

If you're hearing these comments over and over, it makes me wonder whether you're seeing yourself clearly - especially if you think you still have too much body fat on your frame.

A BMI of 18 is underweight.

If you are hoping to gain muscle, this is denser than fat, so effectively your BMI should be greater if you have a higher than average muscle mass. I can understand their concerns - I've just done the NHS bmi calculator for myself and it would be 8st at 5'6", I was last closest to that during my divorce and still half a stone heavier and looking back I looked dreadful, at 8st I would have expected someone to comment (however clumsily) at my haggard look. At Marathon training peak my BMI was 22 because of muscle density.

I think your friends and family are concerned about you op.

When I lost weight after having my daughter (through weightlifting) my MIL kept telling me I look gaunt..bitch

Rude and jealous! Take care. As long as you're healthy and happy, all is good.

But why are they worried? What is going to happen to me?

Often this is due to people’s jealousy. And people wouldn’t say these things to fatter people so it’s annoying. I had this when I was younger and lost a bit of weight, larger colleagues were telling me I didn’t eat enough etc even though I was eating plenty.

However if could be that you are underweight and you say you still have ‘unwanted body fat’ at bmi 18/19 which seems unlikely. We need some body fat to help our body to function and help our hormones to work normally etc.
so perhaps you do need some support? Could you speak to a health and/or fitness professional to advise if you’re healthy and eating enough etc?
Do you know how many calories you’re getting for example?

A BMI of 18 in someone who presumably is also carrying an above-average amount of muscle (from the exercise you describe) sounds like they quite likely already have a worryingly low percentage of body fat to be honest. It is impossible for us to tell on here, but I'm leaning towards your family being correct, even if their delivery was a bit insensitive.

Is your aim to maintain this weight or lose more? Maybe they are concerned that you have an eating disorder?

It’s one of those things where when you get older, you can look more ‘haggard’ when you lose a lot of weight. I’m surprised they’ve told you though, unless they’re genuinely concerned.

A BMI of 18...achieved through restrictive diet and increased exercise plus belief you have body fat screams eating disorders

The fact you are asking this makes it sound like it hasn't clicked that they are worried that you might become malnourished.

Is it that you can't understand their concern (1) because you have finished trying to lose weight now, or (2) because you don't think there is any danger associated with continuing to diet when you are already underweight?

I have around 1500 calories a day but I make them count. I'm quite in tune with if I don't have enough energy etc. or feel crap. But granted could eat more.

It's hard to say with only one side
But possibly develop an eating disorder

Also you do need a little bit of reserve - I had severe food poisoning recently and lost 17lbs and ended up in hospital. For someone older or thinner than me it could have been really serious