To think this woman was really cheeky

[Ladyingreen999]

I'd love to hear others opinions as this experience has left me a bit shocked!

A woman on Marketplace messaged me asking about a cheap baby item I had posted. She then asks if I have a couple of other things, I say not really as I'm still using them. She replies saying she's having her baby in 2 days and "left it a bit late". The fact she made that comment (rather thank just say ok thanks and get it from the shops or elsewhere) makes me think she might really need them and maybe not have the money, so I say don't worry, I can spare some of mine to keep you going for now. She simply replies "thank you".

Later she turns up to collect them and, I don't know much about cars, but she has a huge, rather expensive looking car. I ask her if she still needs the other bits, she says something along the lines of "if you have any spare ones". I'm not good at thinking on the spot so just end up giving her what I had prepared for her when I thought she was desperate. Not that I have much choice anyway since she follows me inside uninvited, otherwise I might have taken something out of the bag.

Later I have a little look at her FB profile and I'm pretty sure she's middle class. I actually gave her stuff I need myself and will now have to replace (not worth much, maybe £10-15, but I feel like a complete mug!) Of course the fact she's got a nice car etc doesn't mean she can't be struggling right now but I'm just a bit gobsmacked. Was she really cheeky or is it my own fault by overinterpreting her request? We do have local FB reuse sites so she could have just posted there and get stuff that someone actually had spare instead of hinting at me!

Oh also, she did casually say "I can transfer you some more money later" but I think it was more of a throwaway comment, as she only turned up with cash for the original item she was buying so again, me being a complete mug, I just left it!

I expect that's how she affords the nice car, by watching the pennies with the smaller things.

Did she take advantage though?

I mean, she asked if the OP had anything else. The OP said yes. She could have said no.

Or was the supposed to engqge in the same level of supposition and overthinking the OP did?

I agree, OP. This was all on you. What a ridiculous situation to create for yourself.

I said: wow ok, would it help if I spared some to keep you going. It's just unbelievable to me that someone with money would say yes to this kind of offer.

Then why did you offer if you assumed , as soon as you saw her car , that she had money ? Makes no sense
.

I'm sorry but, if someone sent me that message, I'd write them off as a complete moron for offering and giving away something they were still using. I wouldn't be sending them money!

100 times, this. You were being kind, OP.

I do think it's cheeky to ask people for things and not at least give them an easy 'out' so they can decline, but ultimately it's up to you to stand up for yourself and not give more than you want. To look on the bright side, this experience should embolden you for the future and make you less vulnerable to people who ask too much (as so many of them do).

In which case she could have gone to a supermarket today and got what she needed.

She was begging for things - I imagine she'll just sell them on.

Was she heavily pregnant?

Don’t beat yourself up. You’re kind. There are worse things to be in this world.

The cheekiest people I've dealt with on selling sites have not been poor. There was a woman who haggled over an already cheap office chair then had the cheek to ask me to deliver it for free. I wanted it gone so said I'd do it, she sends me an address to a house in South London with very steep property prices 🫠

I think people who are in genuine need go to baby banks and charity shops etc, not try to guilt or swindle people online.

Even if you'd offered to send them money?

This.

You were kind, and she pushed your kindness by asking for more, it worked.

To be honest, the fact that someone would follow me into my home uninvited would have bothered me more than her asking for more stuff....I hate people being so presumptuous.

A couple of people have already asked, was she heavily pregnant?

Facebook Marketplace,Vinted, eBay etc are full of cheeky fuckers of the highest order.

Next time someone asks for “extras” tell them “No”.

Also, Later I have a little look at her FB profile and I'm pretty sure she's middle class. What has class got to do with the situation?

A mixture of not thinking quick enough and feeling it was too late since I offered them the day before potentially stopping her from getting them elsewhere . My own choice, I know.

Those pointing out a nice car doesn't necessarily mean anything, you're right. Maybe I helped someone, maybe they misunderstood or maybe they just took the piss, it is what it is. I'm not a people pleaser but can't stand the thought of babies and mums going without.

I'd have done the same. It's nice to be nice but not everyone is as nice as you. You did the right thing so chalk it up to experience

I would have assumed she was asking if you had other stuff there that you might want to sell to her and I would have offered her stuff and said it's X pounds.
You're a mug giving her the stuff for free and assuming she was hard up or something just because she said she was about to give birth and had left it bit late to buy stuff.

Yes she looked heavily pregnant.

What do you mean?

Probably shoved a pillow up her jumper!

OK, should have said "financially comfortable".

Agreed. OP had kind intentions.

She never claimed to be poor and needy. Just a bit disorganised!

I think a lot of people would be inclined to give more to a person who looked like they needed stuff, rather than a person who looked pretty well off.
I don't see why the OP is being called out for that.

So because she is middle class or you suspect her to be, that means she can't be in any financial trouble? 🙄