To think this woman was really cheeky

[Ladyingreen999]

I'd love to hear others opinions as this experience has left me a bit shocked!

A woman on Marketplace messaged me asking about a cheap baby item I had posted. She then asks if I have a couple of other things, I say not really as I'm still using them. She replies saying she's having her baby in 2 days and "left it a bit late". The fact she made that comment (rather thank just say ok thanks and get it from the shops or elsewhere) makes me think she might really need them and maybe not have the money, so I say don't worry, I can spare some of mine to keep you going for now. She simply replies "thank you".

Later she turns up to collect them and, I don't know much about cars, but she has a huge, rather expensive looking car. I ask her if she still needs the other bits, she says something along the lines of "if you have any spare ones". I'm not good at thinking on the spot so just end up giving her what I had prepared for her when I thought she was desperate. Not that I have much choice anyway since she follows me inside uninvited, otherwise I might have taken something out of the bag.

Later I have a little look at her FB profile and I'm pretty sure she's middle class. I actually gave her stuff I need myself and will now have to replace (not worth much, maybe £10-15, but I feel like a complete mug!) Of course the fact she's got a nice car etc doesn't mean she can't be struggling right now but I'm just a bit gobsmacked. Was she really cheeky or is it my own fault by overinterpreting her request? We do have local FB reuse sites so she could have just posted there and get stuff that someone actually had spare instead of hinting at me!

Oh also, she did casually say "I can transfer you some more money later" but I think it was more of a throwaway comment, as she only turned up with cash for the original item she was buying so again, me being a complete mug, I just left it!

You offered. She accepted. She didnt know the offer was only open to people who look poor. She didnt do anything wrong.

Fair point, just to clarify my assumption wasn't based on the fact she used Marketplace (I do all the time!) but the comments/requests that followed.

She's obviously quite brazen but people who ask usually get, as this situation has proven. You need to become a bit tougher OP.

It sounds as though she might be a dealer, you may see the stuff for sale online. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who do that.

Write it off and don't be quite so generous in future. We live and learn!

Yes, she tried it on and you were kind enough to help her. Better this than the other way round, OP. She is a CF and you can hold your head up high.

This reminds me a bit of the woman off eBay who bid for and won 6 x Ingolf Ikea dining chairs i advertised and when she turned up gave me a sob story about how she was trying to furnish a flat for her ds who had nothing. I let her have them for free bc I'm nice like that.

She then left a negative review on eBay saying they "weren't cleaned properly"!
I actually had to laugh at her audacity! But it was a lesson learnt.

You were lucky she actually showed up...........I was gifting some items in the summer and still the person hasn't shown up to collect. Can't help some individuals🙄

This is the very reason I no longer help anyone out..! She's a cheeky fucker and is no doubt very good at it. They have no shame and get everything for nothing with no fucks given. I've done food shops for mothers claiming poverty on Facebook groups only to find they have quite a nice life - better than my own in some cases and are getting helped out by many on a weekly basis. My own neighbour sold stuff at the boot fair I'd given her for her son (winter clothing/coats etc).. now I take it to the tip.

People selling baby stuff quite often have lots of odds and ends lying around which they are happy to pass on to someone else who can use them. I don't think the woman did anything wrong to ask if you had anything else you were getting rid of. It's entirely on you that you gave her something you were still using and you interpreted her comment to mean she couldn't afford them. If you'd only wanted to give to someone in need, then there may well be places locally you can pass items on to.

YABU. Who sent you?

YABU

She offered to send you some money later.
I'd take her up on this! She does sounds quite cheeky IMO.

Message her and say, "Lovely to meet you. Best wishes with the new arrival and I hope the bits you bought from me are useful. Hopefully the extras you took have saved you going to the shops just before the birth. They'll cost me £X to replace for my baby. My PayPal is .... Thanks in advance."

Later I have a little look at her FB profile and I'm pretty sure she's middle class

Oh jeezo, they're the absolute WORST, the middle class people. Shudder. 🙄

It's your fault. You assumed - wrongly - that she was looking for second hand because she could not afford to buy new. You were wrong, she just wanted a bargain, or to be more eco, or sustainable. You then also offered her more stuff, and she accepted. Nothing she said/did makes her cheeky.

Moral of the story. Don't make assumptions.

Nah. This is on you. You gave stuff away that you still use because a stranger on the Internet gave you a sob story. Lesson learned. Stop being gullible.

She was a chancer asking for other items, she knows darn well what she's doing and you fell for it
Leaving essential items when you know the exact date you'll be having your baby is just stupid.

She probably has nicer things by being a complete cheapskate in as many areas of her life as she can.

I get it, you were trying to do a nice thing but it actually wasn't required and you felt uncomfortable rescinding your offer. It's a shame but it's just one of them. She probably didn't realise that's what you were thinking or would have said no. Luckily it's a cheap lesson... this time.

Did she take you home with her to be her doormat or did she just take yours?

There are people around here that will take free stuff and sell it on.

You need to take responsibility for your actions here, OP.

My car has been described as 'chavvy'. Does that mean I'm not middle class?
@Ladyingreen999

She replies saying she's having her baby in 2 days and "left it a bit late

That's her problem not yours.

I can't stand these Cheeky fuckers

Someone on our local page posted asking if anyone had any baby items because her niece was born prematurely....I was very tempted to comment "yes, shops".

You sound absolutely lovely and so generous.

She is most likely a bit of a CF.

You did bring it on yourself and you could have just given her the one thing that she asked for and not given her the other items.

However, you should never be annoyed at yourself for helping someone you thought was in need.

Well done you for doing a good deed.
If she didn’t need it, then that’s her karma to deal with but you should sleep easy knowing that you are a good person.

You have no idea who is or isn’t struggling.

It's your own fault, I don’t know why you'd give stuff away when you needed it

She said she would send you some money - contact her - with a reasonable request for money for the items you gave her. Problem solved.. but really - she was just asking if you were selling any other things.. you have misinterpreted this - it is not her fault. I buy secondhand things and sell them, if I have lots of things, I often offer to people who might be interested in them, sometimes I think they assume I would give them away free, it can get a little awkward - but clear communication is essential.