Bit of a back story first. ExH and I split 5 years ago due to repeated infidelity on his part. He sees the kids EOW and one eve a week. Just over 3 years ago he met someone, introduced her to the kids after 6 weeks and a week later she moved in with him, before this she would stay over but they weren't to see her so were told to stay upstairs, not go to his room etc. She seemed OK towards our kids, a bit indifferent tbh but it was unsettling for them have her move in and ex and I had some heated discussions on this!
Anyway, a year after starting dating she had their baby and things have gone rapidly downhill. She wouldn't let my kids meet the baby for over 2 weeks and then she wouldn't let them round for to the house weeks so they went 6 weeks without seeing their dad. She was really unkind to them and shouted at them, wouldn't let them make any noise etc. Obviously it had caused issues and in the past 2 years, her and ex split up 5 times. During this time my ex has done everything to win her back, including trying to reduce contact with our two and she can't cope them being around his for a whole weekend. This issue is still in discussion... she's recently moved back it and I'm back to having to see her every now again.
Now, I am polite to her but not friendly. Ex has had a go saying I need to make more of an effort to be nice to her. My children say she is grumpy and mean and unkind. Do I really have to be friendly and make an effort with someone who clearly cannot stand my children?