I have a new friend who tends to change plans all of the time. Let's say we decided to meet for coffee a week ago and chose a time, date and place. She will then contact me several times throughout the week to make changes and adjustments.
I do believe that she wants to meet me because she initiates most meetings, but the change of plans is driving me crazy. I have already told her that it would be great if she'd confirm earlier, because her last minute planning is difficult for me to manage as I also want to spend time with family and have chores to do. I don't have many friends here yet and that is maybe why I'm trying again and again but wondering if I should just not bother anymore? She is a nice person, but even though I have told her that this is hard for me it doesn't seem to change.
Our most recent conversation for a meeting tomorrow went like this:
She wrote on Monday if I would like to meet this weekend. I said: "Sure" and asked her if she had something specific in mind. She said she'd like to go for coffee and suggested a cafe she likes. I asked her if time X fit her and she said "yes". So for me it was arranged and I looked forward to it. I have a busy week and she contacted me on Wednesday again asking if I wanted to do something else (bowling) at a different time and in a different place instead. I told her that I would prefer to stick to the original plan as I know from experience she always tries to change things and I'm stressed out by it, which she knows. She said "okay". On Friday she contacted me again saying that she couldn't get a table at this cafe. I had previously asked her if I should make the reservation as I have done lots of bookings for our meetings before, but she said she'd take care of it. So she told me we'd have to go to another place and she picked one that is two tube stations away from the original place so that was fine by me.
Today she contacts me again and says that she wants to meet earlier because the new cafe is further away and she wants to spend more time with me. But for me it is inconvenient to change the time yet again and the new cafe is less than 10 minutes away from our original meeting place. It also closes at 8 pm so we'd have lots of time. The replies to my last thread also helped me stay strong and not cave in again, so thanks for that (it is here, if you'd like to read it, I listed another conversation that we had earlier so you can see how it always goes: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5229148-planning-a-day-and-some-red-flags-am-i-the-problem?reply=140495090 )
She is now not repyling anymore, since I told her that I want to stick to the original time. Would you just go there tomorrow at time X or not? If she confirms tomorrow, should I go or cancel due to her giving me such short notice? She knows it stresses me and that I can't plan the rest of my day, e.g. go for breakfast with my family or book a sports class.
Sorry, this thread probably doesn't portray accurately how stressful it is, maybe also read our conversation before this one in the other thread. She always does this and it's so hard for me not knowing when we will meet and if we will meet as I can't plan things around our meetings. It's like she wants me to sit around all day and wait and not be able to arrange other things. We're also in London, so if she changes the location this can add lots of time to the journey as it is a huge city.
Thanks a lot for helping. It feels so good to just tell someone. She often doesn't write either, but sends long voice messages and it just stresses me out to listen to them several times per week and rearranging plans again and again.
What do I do? Go there? Wait for a reply? Cancel if she doesn't answer tonight? Or should I tell her again?