sitting in costa coffee

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

I don't need a trained carer, and it offensive to suggest I do.
People should not be cheeky fuckers in the first place and still sit down with someone when they have already been told no.

Presume you never use public transport then as you wouldn't be able to do that on a bus train or plane.

But you can in a chain cafe, so that can
be easily avoided. Being only 2 seats on a bus, chances are pp has somebody next to her, and planes you choose your seat, and usually with relatives/friends.

Surely you're not saying if somebody says a CF can't squeeze on to their undersized table, than they need mental help, and a trained carer? Just spat out my tea 😂

Ridiculous isn’t it. And the thought that there’s untold trained carers out there so that anyone with social anxiety in any form (ott just values thrive space and privacy) can find one to take them to Costa just in case someone doesn’t take no for an answer - MN is the gift that keeps giving 🤣

I can go on trains in quiet times with my DP. I can not use buses at all.

Cafes are different, as I am sat there for some me time, and as I said upthread, I have issues with eating meaning that if someone sits with me, I wont feel able to consume what I bought. It took me over a year to eat infront my DP.

Of course not.

Diagnosed mental health issues - read my posts.

That is how I read it too. If you can't deal with someone being rude and not taking no for an answer, then you need a trained carer and MH help. It is a joke.

How about people have a carer with them to make sure they don't go round being rude and trying to sit with strangers that have already politely said no.

I’ve not mentioned you as needing a carer. You sound like you have serious mental health issues. I hope, if this is the case, that you have medical care.

Where did you read that?

I see a support worker from a charity once a fortnight.
There is hardly any MH help in the UK. MH staff are leaving the NHS in droves. My local CMHT wont take me on just because I don't want someone sitting with me in a cafe, and it would be an utter piss take to bring that up when a lot of people that have no ND/MH issues at all also would not want a stranger sat with them.

Who's going to fund this carer for my severely anxious adult child so he can go for a coffee? Baring in mind it will take weeks for him to trust them enough to go for a coffee.

Surely it's much easier that I take him and politely say no on the rare occasion someone asks to share our table.

Can we stop blaming neuro diversity and MH for not wanting to share a table please. There are plenty of varieties of MH issues and ND issues that do not affect people in a way that means they can't share a table.

I'm ND and I know others who are and or also live with MH issues who share tables.

Some do and some don't those choices and factors are personal to those people.

Saying we are always having to treat people who live with these issues with kid gloves infantalizes all of us and it is an incorrect assumption. No wonder quite a few people hate it when anyone mentions ND or MH and roll their eyes when every excuse is blamed on MH and ND, we're just people and we don't fit neatly into pigeonholes just like my folk don't

Sorry not my folk I meant NT folk

If I'm out for a coffee and there's only a 4 seater table available, I'll sit there.

The people on this thread (myself included) are saying that their MH/ND makes it difficult for them to share tables is because, for them, it does.

No one saying that have to be treated with kid gloves either.... just that if someone says no when you ask to sit with them, then don't be a cheeky fucker and sit there anyway.

Pressed post too early.

I'll sit there. I won't give up the table, but I will leave as soon as possible.

I'm not blaming ND/MH. They are the reason DS can't currently cope with sharing a table with strangers. That's only him I'm speaking for.

As a small child he would have loved it, and no amount of telling him that the other people didn't want to listen to him telling them about his latest obsession would stop him trying (usually successfully) to engage them in conversation.

Yes that is what I said that it is individual issues with individual people. It wasn't a comment to you but the very many PP who have suggested it is an ND MH thing

The irony of your last paragraph I shall leave hanging there

Ref my previous post to this one

It was not a personal comment to you

And if they choose to sit down anyway I doubt the proprietor would do anything

I was out with a friend on Monday and the place was heaving. The only free table was for four so we sat down there
And lo...someone asked if they could sit next to us

Would have been very unreasonable to say No

And if you do say no when you've taken up a larger table than you need, you're costing the business money

Very unreasonable

If I am sat on my own, then my table is only 50% occupied. It is quite a stretch to say I am costing the cafe money by sitting alone.

I can understand not wanting a stranger opposite, but if there is a whole table's worth of space next to you it is indeed costing money