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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and Christmas present for DH

57 replies

DangerFrog · 14/12/2024 09:25

I have a dilemma and I'd appreciate opinions.

PIL buy DH a bundle of gifts every year. Some are useful or practical (e.g. shower gel, jumper), some sweets etc. Nothing controversial or offensive. One gift every year is a book; the latest in a series that they have given him every year since childhood, so a traditional gift for them.

The problem being, DH doesn't read the book. Hasn't for years. It will sit around the house as he always intends to read it "this year", but it will be ignored until I put it on the shelf with the others. Book space in our house is limited (because we both buy books that we like and actually read) but he won't get rid of this series because he's sentimental. He's in his 40's now so there are a lot of them.

So my dilemma. MIL has messaged me to say that this year, they've forgotten to buy the book. Can I buy it and she'll repay me? Ignoring the fact that they could buy it online and get it sent to him (or me), would I be unreasonable to just not bother?

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 14/12/2024 09:26

Tell them its out of stock/sold out?? Put the collection in the attic if its taking up valuable shelf space 😉

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 14/12/2024 09:31

Although the clutter may be annoying, that's a sweet tradition.

I would just buy the book, you never know they may end up being collectors items one day!

thesunisastar · 14/12/2024 09:32

Is it the Guinness Book of Records? The only thing I can think of that comes out every year?

It sounds like a comforting and fairly harmless tradition and I think in your situation I'd indulge it and just buy the book. I know that the primary point of books is to read them (obviously!) but book ownership fulfils other needs too, and it sounds like this is the case here. Just because he doesn't read them doesn't mean he doesn't value them, nuts as that sounds.

Then try and find somewhere to create a new bookcase for them in the New Year.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 09:33

Sorry, we're really running out of book space. DH appreciates all the gifts you give him and I'm sure he won't mind not getting the book. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to get it either.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 14/12/2024 09:37

No, if she wants to get it she can buy it.

But what is it? I’m curious.

Createausername1970 · 14/12/2024 09:44

On the one hand, it's something they have always done, and it's a tradition so the sentimental part of me is saying suck it up and get the book.

However, the bit if me that doesn't like clutter is saying maybe this is the point to bring It to an end. Could you say something like "DH and I had a chat about this last night. He wants to keep all the books he currently has, but we are running out of room for many more. So what do you think, do you want to leave it or do you want me to get one this year as the last one, and you can write a special message in it"

Pastit12 · 14/12/2024 10:12

It obviously means a lot to her and has become a tradition so I would help her out and buy it she’s offered to reimburse you so it’s not much too ask. Maybe she’s not confident buying on line.

Your husband obviously likes receiving the books even of it is only for sentimental reasons and if storage is getting a bit of a problem ask him to have a sort out of where the books are going.

Manara · 14/12/2024 10:15

Sounds like MIL is fed up buying it and trying to outsource it to you. You will be asked again next year. She has plenty of time to buy the book.

I would tell her you forgot to buy it.

BlueMum16 · 14/12/2024 10:16

I'd message and say don't worry about the book this. DH has gone of reading it now.

Try and put a stop to this wastage.

Manara · 14/12/2024 10:16

.

Manara · 14/12/2024 10:17

.

Manara · 14/12/2024 10:18

Pastit12 · 14/12/2024 10:12

It obviously means a lot to her and has become a tradition so I would help her out and buy it she’s offered to reimburse you so it’s not much too ask. Maybe she’s not confident buying on line.

Your husband obviously likes receiving the books even of it is only for sentimental reasons and if storage is getting a bit of a problem ask him to have a sort out of where the books are going.

Or she could buy it in the high street, lots of time left.

Manara · 14/12/2024 10:19

BlueMum16 · 14/12/2024 10:16

I'd message and say don't worry about the book this. DH has gone of reading it now.

Try and put a stop to this wastage.

Also good idea

AgnesX · 14/12/2024 10:19

I'd love to know what it is (not the Beano annual obviously 😁).

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 10:19

If it's the Oor Wullie or The Broons annual, YABU. Buy the book!

Cyclistmumgrandma · 14/12/2024 10:22

Buy the book. For the sake of one book it's not worth upsetting MIL. If you want to sell them on as a collection in the future having one missing will be a problem. He may decide to go back and read them when he retires and has time. Having one missing will be annoying. You won't save much space (unless you tell her he doesn't read them and really upset the apple cart) as she will continue buying them next year so....

downhillpenguin · 14/12/2024 10:39

Buy the book. It will only cause hurt after all this time. Put them in the attic.

TammyJones · 14/12/2024 10:43

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 09:33

Sorry, we're really running out of book space. DH appreciates all the gifts you give him and I'm sure he won't mind not getting the book. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to get it either.

THIS - solves all issues

Pelagi · 14/12/2024 10:43

I’d just order it online rather than risk creating drama and upset. It seems quite sweet and both PIL and DH seem happy for it to carry on.

Vaxtable · 14/12/2024 10:44

Just buy it, it’s not worth the fall out, and at some point he may read them

downhillpenguin · 14/12/2024 10:44

TammyJones · 14/12/2024 10:43

THIS - solves all issues

Show quote history

It doesn’t. It’s kind of rude.

Hoolihan · 14/12/2024 10:45

Just buy it. It's one book. We'll all be dead soon x

Stichintime · 14/12/2024 10:49

Is it the Viz annual?

moose62 · 14/12/2024 10:53

It is up to your DH to tell them he doesn't read the books and not to bother, not you. Just buy it - they obviously think he loves them so it would be a shame for you to ruin that.

Flossflower · 14/12/2024 11:03

I would just tell you MIL to get it online. Why dies she think you are more able to get it than her? Does she think you have more time?

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