MIL and Christmas present for DH

57 replies

DangerFrog · 14/12/2024 09:25

I have a dilemma and I'd appreciate opinions.

PIL buy DH a bundle of gifts every year. Some are useful or practical (e.g. shower gel, jumper), some sweets etc. Nothing controversial or offensive. One gift every year is a book; the latest in a series that they have given him every year since childhood, so a traditional gift for them.

The problem being, DH doesn't read the book. Hasn't for years. It will sit around the house as he always intends to read it "this year", but it will be ignored until I put it on the shelf with the others. Book space in our house is limited (because we both buy books that we like and actually read) but he won't get rid of this series because he's sentimental. He's in his 40's now so there are a lot of them.

So my dilemma. MIL has messaged me to say that this year, they've forgotten to buy the book. Can I buy it and she'll repay me? Ignoring the fact that they could buy it online and get it sent to him (or me), would I be unreasonable to just not bother?

OP posts:

StMarie4me · 14/12/2024 19:23

CandyCane457 · 14/12/2024 11:57

This would irk me as well (especially if he doesn’t bloody read them!) BUT I really don’t think it’s your place to tell her that your husband doesn’t want them anymore. I know a few people have suggested that, but the idea doesn’t sit right with me at all. If my parents bought me something in this way each year, and even if I didn’t actually read/use it but I liked to keep it for sentimental/collectible reasons, and my mum asked my partner to get it for me and he said “actually she doesn’t want them anymore” I’d be absolutely LIVID with him.
I know it’s frustrating that he doesn’t even read them, and frustrating that she asked you to buy it (I also don’t get why she can’t get it herself!) but I just don’t think it’s your place to tell her he doesn’t want them anymore, when he’s actually told you that he DOES.
Id probably respond by sending her a link to it and suggesting she orders it online. That way you’re putting it back to her. And if she doesn’t, then tough for her, but at least the lack of book this year isn’t on your shoulders.

It would still irk you if his Mother bought him a book series he did read? Why?

CandyCane457 · 14/12/2024 19:26

StMarie4me · 14/12/2024 19:23

It would still irk you if his Mother bought him a book series he did read? Why?

Show quote history

I said it would irk me, especially if he doesn’t bloody read them.

meercat23 · 14/12/2024 19:27

TotallyTwisted · 14/12/2024 10:19

If it's the Oor Wullie or The Broons annual, YABU. Buy the book!

My MIL used to buy this for our DS every year, since she has been gone I get it for him and his DS. 😁 No idea if he keeps them but it is a family tradition and raises a smile each year.

Whatsitreallylike · 14/12/2024 19:35

I don’t think it’s really about the book for them and your DH, more the tradition behind it. I would buy it but wouldn’t make a habit of it if it continues each year

Bollocksmorelike · 14/12/2024 19:43

Pick your battles! This brings pleasure to at least one person so it is worth supporting.
One day your partner will miss receiving this present from his parents.

7catsisnotenough · 14/12/2024 20:30

Dgf has been given a Rupert annual every Christmas since I was born, sadly he can no longer read them but the tradition continues, because it makes him happy even though he can no longer read them due to his eyesight deteriorating 😞

I'd go with buying the book OPxx

JudgeJ · 14/12/2024 21:53

7catsisnotenough · 14/12/2024 20:30

I'd go with buying the book OPxx

My late OH had a large collection of Rupert annuals, they're still upstairs somewhere. I have Private Eye going back into the late '70s and also the annuals, I'm sure my children will thrown them out, I know I should get rid of the magazines, there are plastic boxes galore, but I just can't, reading the front pages from 40+ years ago is very interesting.

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