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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD class should be allowed Christmas decs and music for the last week of term?

121 replies

EstherAlma · 12/12/2024 21:23

DD is in year 4 at a CoE school and this term a girl joined who is a Jehovah's Witness.

The children usually have some decorations up in the classroom and as a treat they listen to Christmas songs whilst working the last week of term. This is happening in the other year 4 class and throughout the rest of the school - however DD's teacher has said because of the new girl's religion they can't do it this year.

DD said if anyone mentions Christmas to the girl she goes red and starts crying. She accidentally got taken to an assembly and was very upset. I'm not sure anyone has thought this through and I really feel sorry for the girl.

AIBU to think that this isn't fair on the other children in the class? I could understand if it was a secular school and also you can't walk into any shop in England right now without hearing a bit of jingle bells!!?

OP posts:
DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 12/12/2024 21:29

Seems very odd in a C of E school but I wonder if there's more to this than it appears. The girl's just moved school and bursts into tears easily so.who.kniws what else is going on for her that the school are aware of but you wouldn't be

Trumptonagain · 12/12/2024 21:32

No YANBU.

Ghostofallnightmares · 12/12/2024 21:32

If you are in a faith school then that is not acceptable. I understand parents would not want exposure to Assembly and R.E lessons/ experiences , but this is handled by being excused from these activities. In schools with JW I've never known it to the school that change. Provision goes on as usual and adaptations are made for the pupil.

JudgeJ · 12/12/2024 21:33

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 12/12/2024 21:29

Seems very odd in a C of E school but I wonder if there's more to this than it appears. The girl's just moved school and bursts into tears easily so.who.kniws what else is going on for her that the school are aware of but you wouldn't be

If the parents want their beliefs to dictate what a whole class does then maybe don't send her to a C of E school.

ExtraOnions · 12/12/2024 21:33

… so a CofE school is not celebrating Christmas, due to a Jehovah’s Witness pupil. So this school has no decorations anywhere else? No carols, Christmas parties, Mass, Nativity etc

I find that all very hard to believe

Tamuchly · 12/12/2024 21:35

We have JW children at our school, we are still allowed Christmas decorations but we make other arrangements for them when we do assemblies involving elements of Christmas/Christian songs (so they generally sit near reception reading their books or go on computers with a staff member keeping an eye on them). If our focus is on royalty, the Queens funeral for instance, then mum takes them out of school to avoid it. The mum is really on the ball with what is and isn’t appropriate for them but she also respects the wishes of the other children in the class and wouldn’t dream of stopping them from enjoying something even if her children wouldn’t be part of it so she takes them out for school plays and performances.

BeSnappyOtter · 12/12/2024 21:35

Sounds like her parents problem.

oharibo · 12/12/2024 21:36

Feels like there's maybe more going on?

My DS goes to a non religious primary. It's a multicultural area and there's Christians, Muslims and Hindus. But they still have Christmas decorations and music etc

Original poster
EstherAlma · 12/12/2024 21:39

ExtraOnions · 12/12/2024 21:33

… so a CofE school is not celebrating Christmas, due to a Jehovah’s Witness pupil. So this school has no decorations anywhere else? No carols, Christmas parties, Mass, Nativity etc

I find that all very hard to believe

All the usual Christmas celebrations are still taking place - it's just no decorations in their classroom and no Christmas songs whilst they work just for that one class...

OP posts:
mindutopia · 12/12/2024 21:39

My dc has a child in his class who is JW. They aren’t allowed to do a nativity play as a result. The past 2 years they did a ‘winter play’ about penguins and polar bears with no mention of Christmas. This year the play has been scrapped altogether, which is a real shame. (And I’m Jewish so technically don’t even celebrate Christmas religiously!) I hadn’t actually considered whether they have a class tree or decorations, but I’m pretty sure they still do. I’m not sure how the JW child navigates all the card making and the Christmas crafts and Christmas lunch. Maybe they give her an alternative activity?

That said, can you imagine if a Muslim child came to a CofE school and they stopped doing a nativity play? The DM would be so gleefully all over that. 🙄

ExtraOnions · 12/12/2024 21:40

EstherAlma · 12/12/2024 21:39

All the usual Christmas celebrations are still taking place - it's just no decorations in their classroom and no Christmas songs whilst they work just for that one class...

Show quote history

…so she doesn’t get upset and start crying when she steps foot out of classroom, and sees Christmas in full swing in the rest of the school ?

BeSnappyOtter · 12/12/2024 21:41

mindutopia · 12/12/2024 21:39

My dc has a child in his class who is JW. They aren’t allowed to do a nativity play as a result. The past 2 years they did a ‘winter play’ about penguins and polar bears with no mention of Christmas. This year the play has been scrapped altogether, which is a real shame. (And I’m Jewish so technically don’t even celebrate Christmas religiously!) I hadn’t actually considered whether they have a class tree or decorations, but I’m pretty sure they still do. I’m not sure how the JW child navigates all the card making and the Christmas crafts and Christmas lunch. Maybe they give her an alternative activity?

That said, can you imagine if a Muslim child came to a CofE school and they stopped doing a nativity play? The DM would be so gleefully all over that. 🙄

I think thats ridiculous. If JWs are that fundimentalist they shouldn't send their child to a denominational school. Maybe start their own.

Threelittleduck · 12/12/2024 21:41

That's awful. DS attends a C of E school and there are children who I assume don't follow the faith as they don't attend church when the others go but everything else carries on. Nativity, parties, Christmas lunch. It all happens although I don't know if these children take part in it.
If you attend a faith school but don't follow the faith you kind of have to suck it up. I'm always a bit surprised that parents send their child to a faith school when they follow a different religion.
In this case OP I think something more is going on. Crying every time Christmas is mentioned doesn't seem like a normal reaction so I wonder if there are other things going on.

BeSnappyOtter · 12/12/2024 21:43

oharibo · 12/12/2024 21:36

Feels like there's maybe more going on?

My DS goes to a non religious primary. It's a multicultural area and there's Christians, Muslims and Hindus. But they still have Christmas decorations and music etc

Most muslims and Hindus consider Christmas a Christian/Secular holiday and respect that. JWs consider Christmas Satanic and dangerous. Rooted in pagan rites etc.

SwerveCity · 12/12/2024 21:47

That is ridiculous. I live in the West Midlands, in a multicultural town. My youngest child goes to a CofE school. At least half the class is a mixture of other faiths, Hindu, Sikh and Muslim. They still celebrate Christmas in school.
If someone of JW faith feels so strongly about other religions holidays then maybe they should not attend a different faith school.

Mymouseisonfire · 12/12/2024 21:57

That’s not fair if the rest of the school are enjoying the activities. My DC are at a religious school and my DC’s friend is not of the catholic faith but he is still in the nativity and his parents come to watch. I was very surprised when my DC told me as I thought that wouldn’t be approved of.

My older DC had a lovely JW teacher who decorated his class for Christmas and encouraged the children to pop a donation into a box for the local food bank. Never once did he try to discourage the children from talking about Christmas. Such a kind man and great teacher.

Original poster
EstherAlma · 12/12/2024 22:01

Glad so many people agree with me I just can't get my head around it. But I do agree with previous posters saying that there may be more going on with the child.

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 12/12/2024 22:03

Sorry but that's plain wrong! My DD's primary was 2/3 non Christian, Jews, Muslims, Hindu, Sikh, Jain, Quaker, Buddhist, Shinto ... 56 nationalities at one point! And the children of all these different religions took part in the nativity play, came to the church services and exchanged cards - with full encouragement of their parents, who proudly came along to watch them be a tree, a snowflake or whatever minor part they had bagged. Big city school. We shouldn't pander to one family ...

The heartening thing is on Christmas Eve when dozens turn up from other faiths for the midnight service, including the local iman

HeddaGarbled · 12/12/2024 22:04

no Christmas songs whilst they work

I wish this was a nationwide rule.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 12/12/2024 22:05

It is very strange that the child is allowed to attend a C of E school. Things like this are bound to happen. Poor little thing, possibly being blamed for her classmates not getting their treats at school.

MothToAnInferno · 12/12/2024 22:06

There was a JW boy in my dds school for the whole of primary, they never did anything Christmas/Halloween/Easter because of it. The kids just got used to it.

Ihopeithinkiknow · 12/12/2024 22:11

Maybe she is crying because she really wants to do the Christmas stuff but is getting told at home to avoid it and if she doesn't there will be trouble, I don't know how strict they are with it all but they have put their child into an environment with other children who are having fun and she isn't allowed to join in

Oneearringlost · 12/12/2024 22:16

So, am I right in assuming, as the JW child will be in the same class going up the school years, that your DDs class will not have any kind of Christmas celebrations until they've left their primary school?
That seems very harsh, so not just this year but for the rest of their primary school years?
No nativity/christmas activities/classroom Christmas letterbox/Christmas music/parties/Christmas lunch...

justanothercuppa · 12/12/2024 22:16

This is very odd. Worked at a church school most of my career and had several JW children. They just had to get on with it if I’m honest with you, as a Church school we spend a great deal of time in December talking about Christmas. Only difference is that when I give presents I always give JW children just a ‘winter gift’ not in Christmas specific paper. Have you spoken to your child’s teacher about this or is this all coming from the mouth of your child? I’d be concerned that it’s not really appropriate for the teacher to have said to the class that they’re not doing the festivities because of a specific child. We aren’t really allowed to voice things like that and single out children, even if it’s very obvious who the individual is.

BlitheSpirits · 12/12/2024 22:17

DD's teacher has said because of the new girl's religion
really? the teacher said that did they?