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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to love the idea of spending Xmas alone? (One for fellow introverts) ...

86 replies

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

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Jagoda · 12/12/2024 20:59

I did it a few years ago. I confided in a like minded friend and we each told our respective families and friends that we were spending Christmas with each other, so nobody had to worry about us.

Then we each had a bloody fantastic day with our dogs.

Ponoka7 · 12/12/2024 21:00

I'm not introverted but I'm all peopled out and am constantly busy. So I'm really having to apply boundaries to get people to accept I'm happy to spend Christmas day alone, me, the tv, buffet food and baileys.

Cleo65 · 12/12/2024 21:04

Do it!! Life is short & we spend most of it doing what everyone else wants, just to keep everyone else happy....which is a bit bonkers if you stop to think about it.
Enjoy your day, your way...

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:05

Jagoda · 12/12/2024 20:59

I did it a few years ago. I confided in a like minded friend and we each told our respective families and friends that we were spending Christmas with each other, so nobody had to worry about us.

Then we each had a bloody fantastic day with our dogs.

This is a great idea, one I will have to remember for future years! Nothing beats a day hanging out with dogs.

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Gowlett · 12/12/2024 21:05

Christmas is very busy for me, I work in events.
I’d love to just go to mass, then sit down with a glass of Baileys, posh chocs, new books / trashy mags & my presents. I’d watch Bridget Jones, Love Actually etc…

Even better if it was at a hotel, with DH / DS left at home!

AlertCat · 12/12/2024 21:06

I would love to do this. I’m lucky enough to be really happy and contented with the people I share my life with, but I do have a tiny fantasy Christmas where it’s just me and the dog. I’d have all the food and drinks I wanted, I’d spread the day out just as I wanted, watch and read and listen to whatever I wanted. It would be so lovely!

MumOfOneAllAlone · 12/12/2024 21:07

It's just me and dd (5) and our cat. I love it!

No big families and drama to worry about, just unlimited chocolate and sweets for the day (why not, she's only a kid once), Christmas tv and a delicious roast

Looking forward to it 🙂

MerryChristmasYaFilthyAnimals · 12/12/2024 21:09

I'm an extrovert. Not quite the same situation as yours but my DD11, will be spending Xmas eve with her dad and I'll get her around 4pm on Christmas Day. I've had lots of invites as people are equally horrified I'm planning to eat chocolate for Christmas lunch and read a book. I'm really happy with it (and even more so when I hear of people stressing about who they are spending time with and don't want to etc). People genuinely think I'm lying about being happy about being on my own!
Do your own thing and enjoy every minute.

theduchessofspork · 12/12/2024 21:09

Do it, sounds great.

I did it once, went to the Bahamas, on my own (it had been a rough year)

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:09

Ponoka7 · 12/12/2024 21:00

I'm not introverted but I'm all peopled out and am constantly busy. So I'm really having to apply boundaries to get people to accept I'm happy to spend Christmas day alone, me, the tv, buffet food and baileys.

Your Xmas sounds bliss and I hear you on boundaries. I think people who can't be alone are sometimes threatened by those of us who can. Perhaps it makes them question the norm that we should always be busy and social. I get so tired by December I just want to hibernate not have my busiest month.

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CaveMum · 12/12/2024 21:11

I sort of did this years ago when I was single, aged about 20. I worked on a stud farm so we all had to go into work Christmas morning to feed the horses, etc. Half of us were then given the rest of the day off (the other half would get the same treatment on Boxing Day, and we only had to go back, get the horses in from the field, give them dinner then leave). So I went back to my empty house, cooked a small roast dinner for myself then spent the rest of the day/night on the sofa in my PJs with a tin of roses. Bliss!

LBFseBrom · 12/12/2024 21:13

I often wanted to do just the same, there's nothing weird about it at all, good for you.

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:13

Gowlett · 12/12/2024 21:05

Christmas is very busy for me, I work in events.
I’d love to just go to mass, then sit down with a glass of Baileys, posh chocs, new books / trashy mags & my presents. I’d watch Bridget Jones, Love Actually etc…

Even better if it was at a hotel, with DH / DS left at home!

😂I'm surprised my friends with young kids and very busy lives aren't a bit envious, but they've been worried about me being alone too. A hotel Xmas sounds bliss!

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HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:15

CaveMum · 12/12/2024 21:11

I sort of did this years ago when I was single, aged about 20. I worked on a stud farm so we all had to go into work Christmas morning to feed the horses, etc. Half of us were then given the rest of the day off (the other half would get the same treatment on Boxing Day, and we only had to go back, get the horses in from the field, give them dinner then leave). So I went back to my empty house, cooked a small roast dinner for myself then spent the rest of the day/night on the sofa in my PJs with a tin of roses. Bliss!

See, that sounds like bliss to me too. I have one plan - to take the dog to the beach - then it's pjs and roast for one with extra spuds for me!

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Everintroverte · 12/12/2024 21:15

I would secretly quite like it. I'm divorced and have had my kids every Christmas for the last 6 years as ex is with his new fiancée and child in another country. This year he is here and has asked to have the kids, of course I said yes.

My boyfriend has asked me to spend the day with him and his kids. There is a part of me that just fancies a lie in, leisurely breakfast, walk and then grazing on Christmas food bits for the rest of the day with a nice bottle of wine.

KitKatChunki · 12/12/2024 21:16

Dd and I are doing this this year. I've wrapped her presents and we will sit in the living room and unwrap them throughout the day, scoff chocs and yummy things and watch rubbish together and on our own devices and play lots of board games. We've not invited anyone else and it feels really fun for the first time in a while.

ScottBakula · 12/12/2024 21:17

I will be spending it on my own too. No dcs ( by choice ) Db has got plans so it's going to be me and my mad cat

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:17

AlertCat · 12/12/2024 21:06

I would love to do this. I’m lucky enough to be really happy and contented with the people I share my life with, but I do have a tiny fantasy Christmas where it’s just me and the dog. I’d have all the food and drinks I wanted, I’d spread the day out just as I wanted, watch and read and listen to whatever I wanted. It would be so lovely!

See, I thought people had this secret dream of a much simpler quieter Xmas (simply as life is so hectic, I love my family too but I want to do less this time of year), but talking to people has made me feel like I am alone, so thanks!

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HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:19

Everintroverte · 12/12/2024 21:15

I would secretly quite like it. I'm divorced and have had my kids every Christmas for the last 6 years as ex is with his new fiancée and child in another country. This year he is here and has asked to have the kids, of course I said yes.

My boyfriend has asked me to spend the day with him and his kids. There is a part of me that just fancies a lie in, leisurely breakfast, walk and then grazing on Christmas food bits for the rest of the day with a nice bottle of wine.

That's a tough one, I guess you'd offend your boyfriend if you don't? Could you compromise and see them Boxing Day? A nice bottle of wine and grazing sounds lush.

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Wiserandolder · 12/12/2024 21:19

I totally understand.. I too am an introvert - my husband works offshore so I live alone for part of the year! I have grown up children with families and they are often round, but those moments it's just me and my Jack Russell are golden. Work is busy so I really appreciate complete peace and would have no problem with Christmas Day just doing my own thing.. enjoy!!

Octopies · 12/12/2024 21:19

YANBU. I'm a similar age to you and have never just spent Christmas Day at home. It was looking likely that would happen this year, but I just found out BIL and SIL have decided they're not going away now and invited us over. It will be nice to spend time with them and our young nephew, but at the same time, I'm secretly a bit disappointed I have to leave the house and be sociable.

ApiratesaysYarrr · 12/12/2024 21:22

Introvert here, loving with another introvert. This will be the first year for several years that one/both of the grown up kids (mine, grown up by the time we met) won't be at our place.

I love the kids, and partner is ok with them being over at Xmas as no expectations are set - we play board games, and if someone wants to take a bit of time out they can - but I suspect that he will especially enjoy this Xmas just the 2 of us, and I will enjoy it too.

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:22

theduchessofspork · 12/12/2024 21:09

Do it, sounds great.

I did it once, went to the Bahamas, on my own (it had been a rough year)

Wow, that sounds amazing, I always thought Xmas in the sun would be loads of fun. Sorry about the rough year though, I hope things are better now. If I didn't have my dog I'd be tempted to do something like this.

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HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:24

KitKatChunki · 12/12/2024 21:16

Dd and I are doing this this year. I've wrapped her presents and we will sit in the living room and unwrap them throughout the day, scoff chocs and yummy things and watch rubbish together and on our own devices and play lots of board games. We've not invited anyone else and it feels really fun for the first time in a while.

This sounds like a lovely Xmas, restful but indulgent, I hope you both have a lovely time.

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miniaturepixieonacid · 12/12/2024 21:25

I would LOVE this. As the single, able bodied, non elderly adult in my family, I spend the 22nd-27th driving a minimum of 2.5 hours every one of those days to make sure I get to everyone at both ends of the country and get disabled and elderly family members to see family with children. I hate Christmas.

In 2020 I was alone due to various zone and bubble rules that I can't remember. I ate chicken nuggets in my pyjamas while watching Christmas films and cuddling my cat. Best Christmas ever!

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