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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to love the idea of spending Xmas alone? (One for fellow introverts) ...

86 replies

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:25

Iloveyoubut · 24/12/2024 16:21

I think enjoying it alone all comes down to whether it’s your choice or whether you have no option.

Yes, definitely.

Thomasina79 · 24/12/2024 16:31

I get it too. The christmasses I have spent feeling lonely in the midst of many people, some quite dysfunctional. Whilst not on my own exactly this year it is just DH and myself, christmas with the bad bits left out! I’ve always got upset in past years, but not this one. I wonder why!

enjoy

Ratisshortforratthew · 24/12/2024 16:31

YANBU at all! This year I’ve gone travelling for five weeks in SE Asia alone and I’m currently in Bali. I’ve left my partner at home in the UK! One of my favourite Christmases was the one I spent alone with my dog in lockdown. Do it OP - and everyone else who wants a day an alone. An invite to a relative’s isn’t a summons, just say no (to anything you don’t want to do). If they’re reasonable people they’ll accept that you want a quiet indulgent day.

Ratisshortforratthew · 24/12/2024 16:32

Octopies · 12/12/2024 22:59

I always offer to stay at home and dog sit, so DH doesn't have to cut visiting his family short, but it's never worked as excuse!

Why do you need an excuse though? Don’t offer or ask, just state your intentions.

schmeler · 24/12/2024 16:33

Do it. I did it when it was lockdown and it was heaven. I also got the pity party all the while I was thinking how much I was looking forward to it.

Tutorpuzzle · 24/12/2024 17:06

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:56

Does anyone else, when spending time with loved family and friends, still find themselves calculating when they can next have some proper alone time?

Yes, frequently. And at work I have to go out to my car for half an hour at lunchtime to decompress. Not sure I’m going to be able to do that tomorrow!!

(BTW, I think your username is brilliant and I’m going to borrow it for my mantra for 2025 🤣)

iamnotalemon · 24/12/2024 22:49

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:05

I get that most people like living with other people. I don’t have to understand why.

I love time with friends & family but I can only recharge & properly relax when it’s just me.

OMG, I'm the same! I've lived alone for so long, I worry how I'd live with a partner.

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/12/2024 02:10

iamnotalemon · 24/12/2024 22:49

OMG, I'm the same! I've lived alone for so long, I worry how I'd live with a partner.

I tried living with a partner. Never again!

ForGreyKoala · 25/12/2024 02:51

I spent last Christmas alone and loved it - and I'm not an introvert. I don't have family any more and don't want to spend time with friends and their families. I live alone and so Christmas Day alone to me is no big deal.

However, this year I did go to my neighbours' place for lunch - I've just returned (it's part way through Christmas Day in this part of the world) - and enjoyed it very much. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of the day alone however.

sammylady37 · 25/12/2024 06:18

Another introvert here who loves spending Christmas alone. I’ve been fielding invitations and pity all month, which is annoying. It’s blissful spending the days and nights alone (by choice), with nobody else to be factored in.

Movingonup313 · 25/12/2024 06:32

Love a day to myself and would love christmas day alone. Id get myself some nice comfies, food food and drink, take the dog for a long blowy early walk and then have a lovely long day reading/watching/listening to things that make me happy. Maybe another dog walk at night. Also feel the ick of the pity party and wish I had a good response. At least wfh has the benefit of not having 50 people in an office asking what you are doing/eating on christmas day.... even when I was part of a big family that I shared elongated christmas celebrations with I disliked people whom were basically strangers asking me.

Enjoy!

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