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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to love the idea of spending Xmas alone? (One for fellow introverts) ...

86 replies

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

OP posts:
Octopies · 12/12/2024 22:59

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:26

My evil side is thinking you could tell a white lie to them and stay at home? (I say this as someone who is actually so rubbish at lying!).

I always offer to stay at home and dog sit, so DH doesn't have to cut visiting his family short, but it's never worked as excuse!

Mistletones · 12/12/2024 23:01

Jagoda · 12/12/2024 20:59

I did it a few years ago. I confided in a like minded friend and we each told our respective families and friends that we were spending Christmas with each other, so nobody had to worry about us.

Then we each had a bloody fantastic day with our dogs.

I did this too, I had the best day. Ate lots of delicious things, stayed cosy with the dog, watched my favourite movies and no one was offended or worried by me choosing to stay alone.

Fairyliz · 12/12/2024 23:01

theduchessofspork · 12/12/2024 21:09

Do it, sounds great.

I did it once, went to the Bahamas, on my own (it had been a rough year)

Wow now that is my kind of Christmas Day! Well jealous.

HanG77 · 13/12/2024 09:46

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:37

No chicks were harmed

😂

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 13/12/2024 09:52

It sounds wonderful. Me and my husband always have a very low key Xmas alone, and if he wasn't here then I would love to spend it totally solo - either at home or on holiday. And if idiotic people "felt sorry for me", I would be happy to put them straight!

delphinedupont · 13/12/2024 09:58

Not weird at all, I LOVE Christmas, seeing the children open their presents, family round, love it all. However, I do often think how wonderful it would be to rent a little cottage by the sea, wake up Christmas morning and open some carefully chosen gifts from me to me, have a delicious Christmas breakfast, walk along the sea front, back for m&s buffet for one, then curl up in front of a fire to read and eat crisps with with a glass of wine.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 13/12/2024 10:04

I have this down to a fine art, OP, and my lies answers trip off my tongue.
The key is to be well-prepared in anticipation of the questioning.
At work, I told everyone I was going skiing. I'm not.
I tell various friends here and abroad who don't know each other that I'll be with X, Y or Z.
As I no longer live in my country of birth, this is easier to do.
Gets folk off my back.

RoxyAlex77 · 24/12/2024 15:01

Thank you for posting this. Congrats on getting your own place and making it your safe place🤗. I can relate to that feeling. Although I chose to be on my own at Xmas rather than with my verbally & emotionally abusive father I feel rather lonely. Thank you for posting all the reasons why spending it alone in my lovely home is such a great idea.🎁🎄🎅 . Look up Mel Robbins on Insta her posts I find really useful. You deserve a nice Xmas and you deserve to define what that means exactly. If it spells spend it alone than so be it💪💪

Tittat50 · 24/12/2024 15:02

I'm totally alone and I feel no one believes me when I say this is what I want and like. 🤷‍♀️🎄

Discombobble · 24/12/2024 15:04

dentress2000 · 12/12/2024 21:28

I think it's easier to enjoy a Christmas Day alone knowing you have family and friends around you the rest of the year/ options elsewhere. Then it's through choice. Speak to people who have no choice but to spend it alone and it will be a bit different.

Which is why OP said this thread is for introverts

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:15

Spending tonight and tomorrow alone, I could spend it with my partner and his family but choosing to have this day to myself and will embrace it. Have kids or DP around all the rest of the festive season so nice to have a break!

TwistedWonder · 24/12/2024 15:18

Back in 2021 I tested positive for Covid on 20 Dec - back then it was 10 days isolation. I spent the whole of Christmas alone and I loved it.

My ExH went food shopping for me and left it outside. On the actual day I ate M&S party food all day, drank Prosecco, watched what I wanted on tv and stayed in my pjs all day and it was bliss.

Im actually a very social introvert. I love going out with friends and I’ve had a really hectic build up being out every weekend in Nov/Dec but I need that down time inbetween to recharge and prepare for the next night out .

beguilingeyes · 24/12/2024 15:23

That was one of the best things about lockdown, IMO. Being able to spend Christmas at home.

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 15:23

I was meant to be travelling today & staying with family until the 27th, but instead I’m in bed with a rotten cold. The fridge & freezer are stacked with soup & ice cream (thank you Deliveroo) & tomorrow the cat & I are going to open our presents & relax.

I’m not saying I’m not disappointed, but if I had to be ill I’m bloody thankful it came on before I left, & that I don’t have anyone else living here. Totally unsociable when I’m ill.

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:25

I do recognise that's there's a difference in having a choice as opposed to no choice in this though. I don't spend every day alone, so as an introvert my alone time is precious, and to be enjoyed.

EmmaMaria · 24/12/2024 15:27

Ponoka7 · 12/12/2024 21:00

I'm not introverted but I'm all peopled out and am constantly busy. So I'm really having to apply boundaries to get people to accept I'm happy to spend Christmas day alone, me, the tv, buffet food and baileys.

This ^
I'm not an introvert, but my entire life has always revolved around people - a very intense people focussed career. So "alone time" is something precious to me and I have spent Christmas alone for years. I recently moved - I retired - and have spent the last week reassuring the neighbours that I REALLY, REALLY don't want to join them for Christmas without offending anyone.

BlackChunkyBoots · 24/12/2024 15:39

I will have this next year. I'm totally ok with it. This year my family are having me over but next year I'll only have the 25th off and that's ok with me. I'd watch crap Netflix Christmas films, eat party food from a nearby tray and drink lager. I might take myself out for a walk. Or a cycle. Obviously not whilst drunk!

LBFseBrom · 24/12/2024 15:45

EmmaMaria · 24/12/2024 15:27

This ^
I'm not an introvert, but my entire life has always revolved around people - a very intense people focussed career. So "alone time" is something precious to me and I have spent Christmas alone for years. I recently moved - I retired - and have spent the last week reassuring the neighbours that I REALLY, REALLY don't want to join them for Christmas without offending anyone.

I have often felt the same, so sympathise.

YourChirpyFatball · 24/12/2024 15:47

I live alone and crave to be alone. I do enjoy the company of friends and family but it's always a relief to get back to solitude. I had a Morrisons food delivery via Amazon this morning and set to have a full Christmas dinner on my own tomorrow.
Currently stretched out on the settee, no TV on and enjoying the experience. I rarely experience boredom.

BigBundleOfFluff · 24/12/2024 15:54

I'm not completely alone as I'll get my kids back Xmas day lunchtime but I love it. People are horrified so I just say I have a lovely day planned and smile.
Today I have spent hours rearranging my bookcases. Another couple of hours on houseplant care. Then cheese and books/tv. Alone with my own thoughts.
Tomorrow morning, more of the same plus dog walks. Genuinely can't think of anything better!

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:56

Does anyone else, when spending time with loved family and friends, still find themselves calculating when they can next have some proper alone time?

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:05

I get that most people like living with other people. I don’t have to understand why.

I love time with friends & family but I can only recharge & properly relax when it’s just me.

Nothatgingerpirate · 24/12/2024 16:11

Absolutely YANBU.
Fellow introvert actually curious about living on her own one day, with her own seasons, birthdays and Christmases, too.
❤️

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:15

Nothatgingerpirate · 24/12/2024 16:11

Absolutely YANBU.
Fellow introvert actually curious about living on her own one day, with her own seasons, birthdays and Christmases, too.
❤️

As far as I’m concerned it’s pure joy. But as far as my widowed dad’s concerned it’s the complete opposite so I tend to be careful what I say when I’m talking to him.

Iloveyoubut · 24/12/2024 16:21

I think enjoying it alone all comes down to whether it’s your choice or whether you have no option.