To be annoyed at this parent and tempted to send them a bill?

[feelverytempted]

DD’s birthday party is this week and it’s at a soft play. There was a minimum booking but beyond this you had to pay per child. Since she’s in reception I did a whole class party as well as some friends she has outside school.

Another parent has now pulled out with a bit of a flimsy excuse. I actually wouldn’t have been too bothered if she’d been apologetic but she was so flippant about it.

Obviously I won’t do this but I’m tempted to say ‘no problem, here are my PayPal details’

Huge over-reaction. It happens. With chickenpox doing the rounds atm, there’ll likely be more drop outs.

Weve never charged anyone for a kids’ party 🤷‍♀️

Your child's birthday party is not a priority to them. In all honesty in a class that size, if whole class parties are the norm then it's more of an inconvenience than anything.

You need to get used to this type of thing and stop taking it so personally, you've got many years of it to come.

It's ok someone will turn up uninvited/despite declining/having not RSVPd/with a sibling to replace them. The money won't be wasted.

Did they confirm then pull out? Or did they say they hoped their child could come then pull out.

TBH this close to Christmas, with all the bugs and colds going around, you’ll encounter this problem repeatedly as your child grows up. You’ll be in for a fairly miserable ten+ years if you take it this poorly every time…

This is completely normal.

A certain fraction always drop out last minute, usually due to illness.

I used to have family children on standby in case for a last minute place but sometimes you do just need to suck it up

Happens all the time with children’s parties,
I have hosted at least 10
soft play parties over the years and venue have always been fine with a numbers change so long as you are over the minimum.

Happens all the time, my child just had a soft play party and two kids pulled out last minute.
YABU to charge them.

I know, it isn’t about the money, it’s more the dismissive sort of ‘oh, planned something else’ which is annoying.

I am personally grateful for party invitations as it’s something to do and keeps my child fed and entertained for a few hours, but this is MN I suppose where someone knocking on your door is a huge intrusion.

You need to grow a thicker skin.

You could say something like, ok thanks for letting me know, I hope the venue will be able to give me a refund but not sure on the notice period.

As annoying as it is, if you choose to host a party at somewhere that charges per child, you have to be prepared to swallow the cost if/when people drop out.

Whole class parties are often shite. Birthday kid gets 30 x £5 tatty gifts which end up in landfill, one or two parents per child stay and expect to be provided with refreshments, siblings are often brought along and expect to join in, many kids go hyper on the junk food. These parties cost a huge amount and are a nightmare to organise; I'm not surprised that people cancel. Yours, The Grinch.

Yeah, you’ve got years of this. Your kid will miss at least one party last minute.

What's that got to do with it? You're just coming across as sulky now. It's just one of those things OP, you're going to need a thicker skin!

I would assume with a whole class party that you have booked the place at a flat rate so whether I turn up or not

if you are paying for extra (I did once with a soft play place) surely you pay on the day those that turn up

if you are reception I think you do need to develop a thick skin this wouldn’t even register for me - in fact a certain number not coming would be expected

Over the years, I’ve learned to take the risk of paying for (say) 28 instead of 30, and figure it out on the day if everyone shows up, unless it’s a very tight friend group.

It confuses me when posters ask for advice and when you don't like it, you resort to passive aggressive comments like "Well its MN"
I don't know why people bother replying anymore.

This happened to me op. Soft play party. I invited a child from ds class...his mum was a single parent and had a younger child... because I knew she had childcare issues I said she could bring her other DC. £16 a head. So her DC spaces cost me £32. She was a no show on the day... didn't even let me know. I silently fumed...no good deed goes unpunished.

"Oh no, what a shame. Poppy's place cost me £15. I wish you'd have told me earlier so I could've invited another child instead... as it stands, I'm out of £15" be prepared to be ignored for the rest of your life.

Is this your first child?

Infuriating. Perhaps the moral is to arrange something less formal so cancellations are less expensive.

Yes it's annoying, but there are 30 sets of parents in your kid's class and not all of them will have perfect manners or an appreciation for the inconvenience they've caused you. If you have a whole class party someone will always drop out for some reason - you can't control it and you can't charge them so no point fretting about it.

This is why I never shelled out on expensive parties when DD was still in infants. To many drop outs.

Annoying, especially if she wasn't particularly apologetic however you are lucky she let you know rather than just not turning up. Maybe one of the other kids has a sibling you could offer her place to if you've already paid?

I don't really get this. You're paying the 15 quid whether the kid is there or not. It doesn't make any difference to you. Poppy attends its 15 quid, Poppy doesn't, its 15 quid. You don't know poppy from.a hole in the ground, so it affects the party not at all.

I mean, who cares?