To be annoyed at this parent and tempted to send them a bill?

[feelverytempted]

DD’s birthday party is this week and it’s at a soft play. There was a minimum booking but beyond this you had to pay per child. Since she’s in reception I did a whole class party as well as some friends she has outside school.

Another parent has now pulled out with a bit of a flimsy excuse. I actually wouldn’t have been too bothered if she’d been apologetic but she was so flippant about it.

Obviously I won’t do this but I’m tempted to say ‘no problem, here are my PayPal details’

Get used to it people's behaviour around parties can be diabolical - not confirming attendance either way or saying yes then not showing, unannounced siblings rocking up.
Look forward to the days when they just want a small number of friends involved

Ouch!

I am doing one of these in the spring - I’m hoping it will be “crazy but fun”.

Im also hoping some people will drop out! I only wanted 20 but you can’t really invite part of the class, it feels mean.

based in experience we will get about 25 kids.

At least 10% drop out rate is pretty normal - a soft play will usually let you amend the numbers until two or three days before the party once you’re over the minimum.

It’s a busy time of year and nursery school parties are a fair way down people’s list of priorities. Don’t let it wind you up.

That's why I've never done parties like this.

Its a risk you have to take, especially at this time of year.

It's just downright rude but not much you can do about it. I remember when my son was in nursery someone didn't turn up to the party and when I saw the mum at nursery she said she'd been out the night before and had a hangover so didn't come. I was silently livid. What I didn't understand was if it had been a last minute decision what happened to the gift and card? Couldn't she at least given these later and apologies? That's what I would have done (not that I would have been so rude).
I think I was lucky though in my party arranging days (15-20 years ago) as it never happened again and I never had people expecting siblings to come, like I read about on mumsnet.

It is rude, OP.

You've taken the time to organise a party and be kind to invite kids. Its a huge expense, with party bags and cake too. Some parents can be rude and entitled. Usually the ones that don't throw parties themselves. Hope your DC has a great party.

My daughters birthday fell on the easter holiday when she had her first party. I didn't think about it really (we dont celebrate easter, so hadnt really considered it! My own fault). She only invited girls from the class. Out 0f 18 girls. 3 turned up. Most rsvpd to say they couldn't. 3 cancelled on the day. One had the gall to say they just didn't want to come now. (At least make up an excuse!)

But it is what it is. We now no longer plan on the Easter weekend and choose an alternate date and never had a problem since.

Cancellations happen for a variety of reasons.

My son 5th birthday most of the class had a stomach bug. My son came down with it half way through his party. There's not much you can do!

I don’t see how door knocking being an intrusion relates remotely to any of this

I think you just have to put up with it.

Paypal 🤣 that made me grin

I thought about 50% of the class or less was ok. No-one should feel obliged to pay for 30 kids especially if your child doesn't care whether half of them are there.

I would say something.

It's rude and annoying but you've got to let it go as getting cross will only make yourself feel worse. Flippy McFlippant still won't give a toss.

If I was pulling out last minute, I'd still give the gift I'd bought but I would be horrified if I was asked to pay. If it was not last minute, then I wouldn't gift unless a close friend, but I'd expect then my child's space to be covered by someone else.

It seems odd to charge the non attender when all the attenders get to go for free, different if they were all paying.

It's what happens especially this time of year.

Making a mountain out of a mole heap.
Every one seems to get so offended over stupid things nowdays.

I find it hilarious how many people who post of Mumsnet think they're better than everyone else who posts on Mumsnet.

Atleast they let you know!

This with bells on.

If Poppys mum just said she couldn’t attend in the first place then the host wouldn’t be paying the £15, it’s a complete waste of money.

Fair enough if the child is ill, that can’t be helped. So many people drop out because they can’t be bothered or have better plans.

Having a party so close to Christmas is always going to be tricky. Things come up, they have let you know in advance which is better than many will do. Remember a class party isn't a big thing to anyone else. I tended to ask siblings friends to fill any last minute spots

The best approach with birthday parties is to consider the budget spent and relax about slight overspend that could have been avoided. You had planned to spend that money on the party. As PP have said, some people aren't very organised, or have multiple children and parties to juggle, so won't give yours the same consideration as you do.

Also, focus on the reason for the party - so that your child enjoys a birthday with friends. That will still happen.

You chose to pay the money for a set amount of children so no I don't think you should ask for the money, it happened recently with my daughter being invited to a party at a restaurant and my sister was going to take her as I don't drive but her car broke down on the day so I apologised to her friends mum and that was that, I wouldn't have expected her to tell me I owe her money as she already planned for it and you have to expect sometimes things happen and plans change, if you don't want to pay the money don't host parties for multiple children

You wouldn’t feel she had to pay if she WAS going, so logically how can you feel she should pay because she ISN’T going?

I agree. I don't think the OP wanted the money for Poppy's place so much as to impose a £15 fine on the parents.
That would be an interesting system for avoiding late cancellations- no carrots, just sticks...

I always confirmed 2 guests less than I had. Usually had drop outs but if not you can add them on the day despite what they tell you, it’s just more chicken nuggets out the freezer, they aren’t cooking fresh food at soft play