150 quid a head for a leaving do?

[Anycrispsleft]

We have a colleague from our team of about 10 who is leaving for another job. He's been there for years - I think it was his first job out of uni. Usually when someone leaves we have a collection in the whole department and people chip in about 5 or 10 euro and they get a present, and we go out for a meal with them and pay their meal but it's like maybe 30 quid a head.

Now I've just been invited to a group chat where two of my colleagues have come up with an idea for the leaving do to go to a local Michelin starred restaurant and have the tasting and wine tasting menu there for 150 euro a head. Our boss agreed, and then they shared the chat with the rest of us, including an apprentice, a placement student and one of our colleagues who's on a much lower pay grade and has got young kids.

There's no bloody way I'm forking out 150 quid for to sit and eat dinner with my colleagues - christ, for DH's 50th we didn't spend that much - but I'm wondering if I should try and word my reply in a sort of "have you really thought this through" sort of way in case some of our colleagues are going to feel pressured into saying yes?

I would buy the colleague a gift and card and say I can't make the event and leave the group.

Yep!

Actually this is easy to swerve on account of it being so bloody ridiculous! Say no thanks, I can’t justify that amount, others will thank you for saying so… and they will follow suit.

Not bloody likely, that's ridiculous.

Yeah we do. It's very common.

OP my answer would have been this ...😂😂😂😂😂

That's insane! Even if you earn well it's still insane! We are in the middle of a cost of living crisis!

See this bugs me. People spending my money for me.

The fact that the colleague has worked there all his working life ,doesn’t mean that other worker have known him all that time. It’s rather extravagant to go to a posh restaurant for a leaving do, at €150 per person especially if you haven’t known the guy for a long time. If he is a very important person in the company then the company should foot the bill .So you have done the right thing and others who feel the same about the cost can follow suit.

You think every employer in every country has a budget of 150 pounds stg for employee dining etc?

😂😂😂

Some people can afford it (but not as a leaving thing);or sneakily put it on expenses. We have all worked with those people. Let's have the caviar and the 59. Then they put their/your bill in as a claim. Always the people on the big money.

I think rather than discussing in the group chat this is one to pick up the phone to your boss and gently explain that this isn’t very inclusive for all - it shouldn’t be up to people to feel that they have to take part in an exodus.

Definitely this. If he’s been there since day one and is super close with senior management, I imagine they planned this big night out for their friendship group primarily, and just extended it out of courtesy.

I'm afraid my response on the WhatsApp group would have been: "I take it this is coming out of company expenses, then? Thank you so much, senior management, how kind of you to arrange it for all echelons to join in."

@Jaichangecentfoisdenom I mean sure, but it doesn’t look like anyone’s suggested OP is obliged (or even expected) to go. I would have just acknowledged the invite and left it at that

Yanbu ‘thanks for the invite it sounds great but I can’t make it -I’d still love to contribute to any joint card/collection tho ‘

HOW MUCH!?!?!?! Someone wants their bumps felt.....daft bugger!

I had my leaving do at a very expensive restaurant... But the Company paid. I was told I could go there but even my boss said "are you sure?" 😂

If you're having to pay your own way, then it's usually just drinks locally or similar isn't it?

What a ridiculous thing to suggest in the run up to Christmas!

I'm wondering if those who came up with this idea, very well knew that many would bail out.

It makes them look extremely kind and generous, going above the call of duty. In reality they should not have, as it is actually a highly inconsiderate and selfish act.

This may well be for the interest of the boss, to put themselves and be seen in a certain light, but they have actually created a rod for their own backs.

Will they be putting this price tag on other leaving do's going forward?

However, they will still feel justified and happy to gossip about those other colleagues that they will unashamedly label "tight", who have decided in their good sense not to go, but who they feel should have made the effort, knowing their salary.

Oh, the office politics!

But if it's a company, or even department, wide invitation, why are they blatantly excluding people by dint of arranging something so obviously out of most people's budget? If it's just a mates' thing, leave it just exclusive to them, without inviting everyone else, and if it is felt necessary to have a company farewell, just do what is usually done, not propose this excessive meal. Sorry if I'm being thick. Been out of the work environment for a very long time and hated enforced jollity unless the company was paying for a great night out!

No. I simply asked if it were the following not knowing where OP was based - you’ve chosen to mis-construe the rest: https://www.gov.uk/expenses-benefits-social-functions-parties/whats-exempt

Sorry I can't afford that on a work social..

That’s a crazy amount to expect an apprentice and placement student to spend on a meal!

Any update on the group chat OP?

I’ve declined to spend £50 on a leaving do before now and would do so again. I definitely wouldn’t spend £150. People really do not think before making these arrangements. Would they rather have everyone there or go out for a very expensive evening? You can’t necessarily have both. People often think expense equates to meaning and importance. It really doesn’t!

I work in an office full of people who think nothing of spending £££ in this way. Recent Christmas party was £75 per head (without drinks). I just decline.

Maybe the boss is putting it on expenses. I'd assume so at this cost as no one is that insensitive to expect people to pay this for a work do.