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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To no longer consider GPs feelings at Christmas time?

90 replies

HumbugsGoingBah · 10/12/2024 08:09

I know, that sounds nasty, but I’m pissed off.

A few years ago my DH and I decided that whilst GPs are still around, we’d better stay put for Christmas as circumstances on both sides meant it fell on us to do Christmas. So, no lunch out (as we’d have to pay for it all), no holidaying it away. Let’s just say crappy siblings on both sides, plus both sets of parents got upset about not seeing our DC on Christmas Day. At times I’ve hosted both sets for 2-3 nights and DHs siblings and been exhausted from all the work.

Anyway, last Christmas one set came to stay, and the other set said they were, but then got a better offer from one of our siblings. So they cancelled days before.

This year, one set again said they were coming and only told me yesterday they weren’t. I now have to get everyone’s presents together and take them over before Christmas (despite working all the time till 25th) because they said they’ll have nothing to open and will be upset.

The other set is going away and told us they aren’t doing presents.

OK, so of course everyone can do what they like. However we’ve got such grief about GPs being upset if they can’t stay for days on end to see the DGC, that Christmas is about family, if you can’t put yourself out on this one day etc. usually at time, effort and cost to me. My Christmas is always sacrificed.

Last year I had 2 weeks off, I could’ve gone away.

So, AIBU to say they’ve changed the set up, and from now on I’m doing what we want to do?

OP posts:
NeedthatFridayfeeling · 10/12/2024 11:51

Get booking a holiday for next Christmas and sod taking their gifts before Christmas, they changed plans so get them when they get them. Don't put yourself out.

thepariscrimefiles · 10/12/2024 12:14

HumbugsGoingBah · 10/12/2024 08:33

My parents and PIL.

So they change your Christmas plans at ridiculously short notice but then say that you need to get their Christmas presents to them as otherwise they will have nothing top open and will be upset?? Are they small children? If not, that behaviour is completely unacceptable and you need to stop pandering to them.

Don't bother with their presents. And this does give you permission (not that you need it) to do what you would like to do for Christmas instead of dancing to their tune.

FelixtheAardvark · 10/12/2024 12:28

Lammveg · 10/12/2024 08:23

I thought this was going to be a thread about the NHS

Me too!

SalsaLights · 10/12/2024 13:27

YANBU. Use this as an opportunity to reset your Christmases.

Firstly I wouldn't be delivering presents. They want to cancel with two weeks' notice? Not a problem. They need to let you know when they want to come to collect their gifts.

Secondly I would be telling them that you're glad they have decided do Christmas to suit themselves from now on. As this means you will also do the same, and here is plenty of notice that you'll be away for Christmas 2025 so they know to make their own arrangements.

SundayDread · 10/12/2024 15:26

I can’t stand adults beinf childish and attention seeking over Christmas. Even worse when there are actual children involved
Id make my own plans from now on, if they want to fit in with them, fine.

Theoldbird · 10/12/2024 16:19

They need to collect the gifts from you if they will otherwise be 'so upset at having nothing to open on Christmas day'. Do not be delivering them to them like a mug

itsjustbiology · 10/12/2024 16:25

I am shocking for being petty OP so I would pop the presents in the post tomorrow and dismiss all thoughts out of my mind of any of them. Done posted off and out of my mind. Then I would focus all my energy on those who mean the most to me and fuck everyone else. No explanation to be given ..if anyone says anything you reply sorry busy..thats all. They can sulk all they like.let them.Shut the worry out of your mind and be done.

SalsaLights · 10/12/2024 17:46

itsjustbiology · 10/12/2024 16:25

I am shocking for being petty OP so I would pop the presents in the post tomorrow and dismiss all thoughts out of my mind of any of them. Done posted off and out of my mind. Then I would focus all my energy on those who mean the most to me and fuck everyone else. No explanation to be given ..if anyone says anything you reply sorry busy..thats all. They can sulk all they like.let them.Shut the worry out of your mind and be done.

I'm also petty so this would have previously been my go-to move, but have you seen the price of postage recently? Like fuck would I spend even more on sending them their gifts!

itsjustbiology · 10/12/2024 18:01

SalsaLights · 10/12/2024 17:46

I'm also petty so this would have previously been my go-to move, but have you seen the price of postage recently? Like fuck would I spend even more on sending them their gifts!

Be worth it not to have to trail lol xx

ssd · 10/12/2024 21:01

HumbugsGoingBah · 10/12/2024 08:21

As in, no one could be this much of a martyr?

Yep!

Pixiedust88 · 11/12/2024 19:21

YANBU. Me and my husband alternate Christmas and Boxing Day every year between our parents. The last couple of years my parents have gone to my sisters as I was working last Christmas Day and my husband is working this one. My parents live about 45 minutes from us which isn’t far I know but when you’ve done a 12 hour shift at the hospital the last thing you want to do is drive that far when you’re tired (PIL live three streets away from us). This year it’s different as we have my grandson with us full time and we agreed for his first Christmas he could spend the day with his mom at my PIL (she can’t have him unsupervised). My parents don’t mind this as we’ve worked it out that the next two years after this one we’ll be at theirs to make up for missing two Christmas days but we are going Boxing Day this year like we did last year

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 11/12/2024 21:07

Call and say their presents are ready for them to collect. You can't deliver as you're working.

Sit down over Christmas & plan next year's getaway ✈️ 🚢

noodlebugz · 11/12/2024 21:15

YANBU Welcome to Christmas how you want to do it and hopefully DP is onboard!

OrangesCinammonIvy · 11/12/2024 21:21

Good for you op it's dreadful.

MrRobinsonsQuango · 12/12/2024 10:58

They don't seem to confider other peoples feelings so why should theirs be considered? Going forward l would do what works best for you

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