My house my rules?

[Onlycoffee]

I keep seeing this on mn usually in defence of "house rules" for adult children, sometimes also young adults and teens.

For those who say that, is it not your children's home as well?
What age does it stop being their home?

I'm not talking about where there is abuse, aggression, complete disregard for other members of the household, but more when parents seem to be trying to control their children under the banner of "my house my rules".

Aibu to think my house is also my children's house, so allow them autonomy and not try to control them, or
Yabu and, I don't even know because what is the alternative? Drive my kids away and make them feel uncomfortable in what apparently isn't their own home anymore?

I would never say that. It just makes me cringe actually.

I honestly want my kids (18 & 20) to be as comfortable as possible. I think life is hard enough and I want home to be their safe space. I don't charge rent at the moment (I would consider asking for a small contribution if they are still at home in their mid 20's) as I want them to use their money to travel, learn to drive and save for their future. I feel this is my way of helping them into adulthood. I have no objections to turning heating on, helping themselves to food/showering whenever they want or having friends/partners over to stay, as I'd rather they come back with a friend than walk/get a taxi back alone from a night out. That being said, they are respectful and I love having them at home. I think it also depends on financial situations too, if I was a single parent or/and struggling financially I probably would have to ask for some rent and/or think about when the heating can go on so o depend everyone's situation is different.