Is this a true assessment of rural life or am I being a bit of a dick?!

[Rurrrala]

I live in a lovely village. I grew up in a rural location so this what I am used to. But… I spent ten years on the outskirts of a city and I miss it.

Everyone keeps saying rural life is better for kids and I do think that might be true. But I find it a bit backward! In terms of mindsets. Even those who are apparently more educated as quite narrow minded (in my experience). It’s shocked me a bit moving so far out of a city, I never thought that there was so much difference.

I am being told by everyone (ie family!) that I will regret a move to a busier place and that it’s unfair on dc who now have an idyllic life that is quiet and calm. It’s making me second guess myself. I know nowhere is perfect but I feel like life is so quiet and a bit empty here.

<spits straw out of mouth>
<lifts dragging knuckles from the ground>

Well, precisely.

This is a thread that keeps on giving:
Even the 'more educated' are 'narrow minded'
'The country wouldn’t be for me and I do personally find that people are slightly backwards, that’s not to say everyone is racist etc but there’s a certain degree of othering that I think comes from a more insular way of life' (but it's okay to 'other' us yokels, apparently).
'Oudated'
'Old'

Can you hear yourselves?

I've lived rurally for most of my life, much of it in the same area. The sense of community is excellent, people are helpful and friendly, the non-white DC that mine were at school with were well integrated (and so far as I know had no issues with racism), and there have been out gay couples living happily in the district for more than forty years - the first gay couple I ever knew used to go to lurcher trials.

It’s a fair assessment, but obviously these kinds of posts upset rural village types. So expect some pitchforks OP.
Sadly, I don't have one.
I do have a bloody sharp billhook, though!

The irony is your post is breathtaking! Accusing rural living people of being small minded and bigoted! And you come out with a post like THAT!

LMFAO!

/

Yeah, please eff off back to the city with your snobby views. Byeeee!

@EdithStourton 100% agree. Some of the anti-rural posts on here are horrific aren't they?

Maybe they're jealous of the beautiful areas we live in. 😁

Having lived in both, I feel like what you get in urban living (ideally) is breadth of experience: diversity, all kinds of facilities, experiences, choices, but it can be shallow as you don't always get beyond superficial, you wouldn't be missed. In rural community it can be narrow, fewer people, limited facilities, you have to join in what there is with the same few people even if you disagree with them. But you get depth, you really know people better and they know your business (for better or worse) , you feel ownership of where you live and more sense of belonging.

I mean it's a bit of a generalisation, but this is what I've observed. Both have their pros and cons.

Feel for teens living rurally. That really is monumentally shit. My teens have a brilliant life compared to my own teens years in a rural idyll village.

Oh FFS. Just because YOUR life was shit as a teenager living in a village, that doesn't mean it's the same for every teenager. A pp described above how good their teenagers lives are (living rurally) and why. And many villages have lots of activities for teenagers, and many of them will have their friends living nearby.

What a silly and ludicrous generalisation!

I agree with you OP.
But you will get everyone who lives in a rural area telling you you are being a dick.

I am ethnically Indian and live rurally. For anyone moving here I think you need to consider the advantages and disadvantages of rural life. In particular it is four miles to the nearest shops and whilst there is plenty going on, it is a car journey everywhere for DCs. That being said we have lovely people, fresh air and all manner of great walks, bike rides, animals all around us, great rural schools and fabulous fam shops. As to rural areas being racist, IME I have experienced far less racism in the countryside than I did in the urban Midlands and London.

You're going to need to be more specific OP.

You also need to think about your own bias and assumptions. For example you might think that on the face of it, someone in your new location is "narrow minded". But have you stopped to find out why they think that way? The challenges and issues that rural areas face can be very different to those of the towns and cities. Context is everything - and sometimes that context can really explain the difference in something that might have initially appeared "narrow minded".

I think in cities it's just a bit easier to find people who you are compatible with, because there are more people to choose from. I've lived rurally and in cities and that's my impression.

It might just be that your narrow mindedness is different to theirs.

Absolutely love rural life, wild horses couldn't drag me back to the city. BUT the miniscule issues that people blow out of proportion is laughable. The local Facebook group is ridiculous. Day to day people are incredibly nosy friendly!

I'm here for the wildlife and peace, not the people!

We moved to a small town in Cotswolds when DD was a toddler. DH was convinced it would be a better life for us and a great place to bring up a child. He grew up in a small town too, he thought that London was where you go the be a young adult and then you move away to bring up your kids.

Never been so miserable in my life. Right wing, old fashioned attitudes about life, black people, women, gays etc. It was awful nearly broke our marriage.

Moved to London suburb - a million times happier - well adjusted happy kids with culture, arts, food, tolerance, and green space on our doorstep.

We had to do that so DH could see that it wasnt better - he is very glad we are here too.

You are being very very reasonable to feel the way you do.

I am not especially surprised to hear that (sorry you had shit in urban areas though).

I can remember living in London in the 90s and hearing horror stories about gay-bashing, while knowing rural gay men who had no problems - everyone knew them, so they were judged for who they were, not by a label.

The thing with living in a rural area is that you quite often know what people think, so you know who the racists and anti-semites and homophobes are. So far as I can tell (and I have lived here a long time and know a lot of people) they're a tiny minority.

Are you assuming we all live in England perchance?

Ha!

Right wing and older is no more backwards and narrow minded that being left wing and thinking you people are somehow better. In fact generally speaking I find left wing are some of the most narrow minded minded people.

Yep move to a city where you’ll worry about your kids being stabbed, have to deal with the isolation of dealing with multiculturalism. Have to deal with high crime levels.

There’s a reason older people with their greater life experience are so much more likely to be conservative

I've lived very rurally, now in London. It's hard to say for sure, because while in the country I did not have kids, but personally I'd much rather raise them in London or a city for countless reasons.

Having lived in both I would say I find city people pretty narrow minded in general. Superficially they may have broader experiences but they are less likely to be open to really different perspectives.

I think this having to get stuck in with all kinds of people element is fundamentally less narrow.

I don't know how many times I've been in a city type workplace that considers itself diverse and pluralistic, but you soon find they are all pretty middle class people with similar beliefs and politics. And similarly with social groups.

There is very little for teenagers to do in a village. I love that mine can have full social lives and get around using public transport and being independent under their own steam. It really is epically shit being even a semi sociable teen in a small village whatever you may like to tell yourself.

local shops for local people

This was me as a teenager. Once bus out of the village on a Monday, one bus returned to the village on Thursdays. That was the bus timetable

And what exactly is wrong with not being left wing?!