Is this a true assessment of rural life or am I being a bit of a dick?!

[Rurrrala]

I live in a lovely village. I grew up in a rural location so this what I am used to. But… I spent ten years on the outskirts of a city and I miss it.

Everyone keeps saying rural life is better for kids and I do think that might be true. But I find it a bit backward! In terms of mindsets. Even those who are apparently more educated as quite narrow minded (in my experience). It’s shocked me a bit moving so far out of a city, I never thought that there was so much difference.

I am being told by everyone (ie family!) that I will regret a move to a busier place and that it’s unfair on dc who now have an idyllic life that is quiet and calm. It’s making me second guess myself. I know nowhere is perfect but I feel like life is so quiet and a bit empty here.

I think “ticking the diversity box” will very much depend on whether you are in a minority. If you’re not a minority that’s likely to suffer from views being expressed that are outdated then you don’t need to worry about it. A friend of mine was brought up in Devon village by her mum and girlfriend and was badly bullied. Now obviously that could have happened anywhere but perhaps less likely in a more diverse community?

It’s takes me ten minutes to cycle to an ice rink, ten mins to cycle to a good pool.
ten mins to cycle to a velodrome.

i can get to work by bike in 25 mins, so can my husband

I reckon that being in the city has some decent perks.

Was gonna say, that doesn’t sound very rural 😂

Drugs are everywhere ffs.

op you sound like my rather tiresome friend who grew up in a village and now sneers at the narrow minded, conservative attitude of the locals, the irony being that she herself is probably one of the least tolerant, rigidly-minded people I know, despite her self-assumed liberal credentials.

The outskirts of a city is the worst of both worlds, either live in a city or live in the countryside.

I don't know what villages you have lived in @Rurrrala but MY village is certainly not as you describe! Not small minded and right wing like you're describing - and we don't have a Tory MP. Also there are some non-white people who have moved in in the past 8-9 years, who have been made extremely welcome. Also half a dozen or so same sex couples live here and are made to feel welcome and wanted.

Certainly no right wing mentality here or narrow mindedness. Even though there is a bit of an 'older' demographic! I'm sick of this 'older people are racist' shit. I know some older people who are not, and many younger ones who are. So stop with that bullshit right now!

We make people very welcome when they move in, and we were made welcome too around a decade ago. You could not pay me to leave here, even though it's 2 miles from the nearest A road, there is no public transport, and the shops/dentist/GP/pharmacy etc are 3 and a half miles away. We get snowed in sometimes, and flooded roads leave us stranded for 1-2 days occasionally. But I would NEVER move.

Living here pisses all over everywhere we have ever lived. (City, large town, and suburbs of medium and large town.) It's much friendlier than anywhere I have ever lived as an adult, and there are plenty of hobby groups/social meet up groups for you to join in (if you want to.) It's a brilliant place to raise children too. Safe and quiet, with woodlands galore for them to play in. (And a primary school with just 45 children.)

Our cottage is 5 minutes walk from woodlands, 10 minutes walk from the canal, and 15 minutes from the river. We have a Church and a pub and a Parish Hall, and LOTS of community events! (And as I said - a number of hobby groups.) There is a community bus that comes 3 times a week too, (and goes to town and back,) and a mobile library, and the Parish hall organises day trips and various events during the year.

Neighbours are lovely. We all keep ourselves to ourselves, but chat outside/in the garden etc, and will be there in an emergency. Amazing place to live. Hell will freeze over before we leave.

To be honest, the only one sounding narrow minded here is you @Rurrrala

..

But I find it a bit backward! In terms of mindsets. Even those who are apparently more educated as quite narrow minded (in my experience)

I am educated, broad minded and live in a village. I wonder if maybe you are drawn to uneducated, narrow minded people......

I went to uni with lots of very rural Scottish kids. They were experienced in the procurement and use of drugs Id only ever heard of in trainspotting, and drank more than I understood possible .
Their teen years were spent in the dark and wet and bored.

Sorry - quoted wrong post there. Clearly not as educated I claim to be!

That sounds lovely and you’re very lucky but there are plenty of posters on here whose experience of rural living has been incredibly different. I’m not sure what point you’re making?

And I’m intrigued to know what the teenagers do for entertainment?

Why is it thought to be better?
A friend moved back to the area she grew up in after having kids. She could walk to the local primary and there was a little convenience shop. But the kids could not walk or cycle anywhere - narrow roads, high hedgerows, fast cars. Friends were duress out over a larger area so it was the car. Shipping for more than just bread and milk: car. Nothing much happened in the village except the church so my friend joined. Secondary was much further away and they needed a bigger house so moved. Now everything was by car. She was lucky she had furies behind her house to walk her dogs unless they had livestock, but the kids still needed to be ferried everywhere. Annual train ticket to work was in the thousands.
So other than affording a bigger house, the negatives seem to far outweigh any positives.
In town or city you quite often have most things within walking distance: shops, restaurants, schools, pub, friends. More going on. More variety. More community. More playgrounds and big commons.

Village and city life are different. If you love city life then village life won't suit you. Outdated sounds a bit sneery though. Many people choose to live in a village exactly for the 'outdated' feel.

I grew up rural, my nieces and nephews have grown up rural, my Dc in London.

Rural is great with primary aged kids, but less so with teens unless they are fully immersed in something like ponies (and you can afford that),

My siblings were non stop taxi drivers and their kids never became independent or used public transport (there wasn’t any). Little cultural opportunity and huge problems with drugs in the village. And teens in souped up bangers having terrible accidents on country roads.

Meanwhile mine were busy with brilliant free music and dance projects led by cutting edge professionals, seeing great shows, going to galleries, walking distance from friends, independent free travel all over London from about 12, and because we love getting out of town, regular camping and hiking trips to hills and coast. They actually did more ‘outdoor pursuits’ than their cousins.

Personal anecdotal view but I am happy my kids had the childhood they did.

Oh, and the huge diversity of friends at school gave them a wide perspective, very different from their rural / coastal cousins.

Though, all have grown up to be lovely, successful young people. But I would say the cousins still lean on their parents more than my Dc do.

it's ultimately what suits you. These threads always have people who prefer one or the other (or a mix) but if it doesn't work for you there's no harm in looking to live somewhere else!

We lived very rurally for about 18 months but thankfully moved back to the city after that. I love the countryside, I love nature and bird watching but the commute was too much for me in the end. I loved the village where we lived (though we had some oddballs and some people who kept reporting us to the parish council for no good reason) but I think that's part and parcel of living very rurally. We moved for dp's job but he lost it after 18 months and I made sure we moved shortly afterwards back to where it was easier for my work!

It's fine to prefer one over the other, but it's not OK to sneer - and look down your nose at others who choose something different. Acting like you're superior, and accusing people who live rurally of being narrow minded, bigoted, right wing, and unwelcoming. And suggesting it may be because there is an 'older' demographic.

Fuck that shit!

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This is a classic metropolitan elite position. People in rural places are often more rooted than city people and more attached to that specific place (perhaps because their family have lived there for generations). For this reason they may be more interested in local than global issues.

There’s nothing wrong with this and I can’t bear the dismissive attitude of city people who think their worldview is the only legitimate one. Obviously if you don’t like it, it might not be the right cultural fit for you and that’s fine, but it isn’t ‘backward’.

In a village?
Well, most villages don't have secondary schools so they'll be travelling to school and very likely form friendships outside their village.
My son goes to the nearest town 3 miles away. He goes to the gym and/or his girlfriend's house after school (and GCSE revision classes!), he plays football, he meets up with friends, many of whom are also village dwellers so they go to someone's house.
In the holidays they get the bus to the city, or the train to further afield.

Then he comes home to our lovely, quiet house where there is little crime. He does what most teenagers do at home (phone, game, telly).

It's not great for a teenager, but I'm not moving to the town for the few years he'll still be at home. I love it here.

It's all relative... I spent my childhood and teen years in the countryside and lived in London in my 20s. When I lived in London I was expecting a baby and casually chatting to another pregnant lady in a waiting room, who said "I'm expecting a boy. Well for now they're a boy, they might change their mind when they're older of course". In that moment I realised people in cities could be way weirder than country folk.

Some people like cities and other people like rural, and that includes children. There are plenty of places in the middle - not in the middle of nowhere but not inner city London!

Hmmm - I recently moved from a city to a rural area. I am 67. It is true that there is a much older population her - the traditional employments have gone and with them a lot of younger people. But it wasn't an older person who, two weeks ago, told me that the girls killed in Southport had been murdered by an illegal immigrant two weeks off a small boat ( I thought everyone knew that isn't true by now), or that Reform is a good way to vote because they care about white people. That person is 29. The "older population" are predominantly left of Corbyn!

It’s a fair assessment, but obviously these kinds of posts upset rural village types. So expect some pitchforks OP.

It will vary according to which rural part of the country you mean. I've lived in a rural-ish village in Oxfordshire and a rural-ish village in Cumbria and they are not very similar in outlook! I'd absolutely far rather live in either of them than in a city though.

I think teenage onwards unless you are really into the countryside, say a horserider or would be in a really stabby part of London then actually urban living is great.

But it is very factually correct that the more right wing people are the more conservative with a small c they are in their thinking.
In no way are the left not also prone to misogyny and racism particularly on the extremes of the spectrum but if you polled everyone who voted Tory or Reform and everyone who voted Labour and Green those on the right would be more Little Britain than those on the left. And more likely to hold racist views. They would also proportionately be more likely to live in rural areas.

It doesn't mean everyone is small minded in the countryside but more small minded people proportionately live in the countryside and in cities.