Is this a true assessment of rural life or am I being a bit of a dick?!

[Rurrrala]

I live in a lovely village. I grew up in a rural location so this what I am used to. But… I spent ten years on the outskirts of a city and I miss it.

Everyone keeps saying rural life is better for kids and I do think that might be true. But I find it a bit backward! In terms of mindsets. Even those who are apparently more educated as quite narrow minded (in my experience). It’s shocked me a bit moving so far out of a city, I never thought that there was so much difference.

I am being told by everyone (ie family!) that I will regret a move to a busier place and that it’s unfair on dc who now have an idyllic life that is quiet and calm. It’s making me second guess myself. I know nowhere is perfect but I feel like life is so quiet and a bit empty here.

Definitely agree about drugs. A friend of mine’s kids were straight A* students. Then they moved to the countryside and both kids are now international drug runners.

On the bright side, it pays well and there’s plenty of travel involved.

Drugs are a massive issue in the countryside sadly. I used to support rural communities and bored teenagers doing drugs was a huge problem where I worked.

As pp said I think it would help if you have some specific examples OP?

I moved to a village 3 years ago with young DC and in many ways it's been quite the culture shock. But I grew up in a city so I've just assumed it's me that's the issue!

I think you could have worded that a lot better and skipped some of the insults, but I'm going to ignore all that and say this: it is not fun to grow up in the middle of nowhere with rubbish public transport. Growing up my friends from school lived quite a distance away. If I couldn't get a lift I missed out.
My personal view is adults find the quiet countryside idyllic...kids don't. I appreciate that might not be the case for everyone, but I think should be something to consider.

So basically you only want to live near people who think exactly like you, instead of engaging with them and actually getting to know them.

I grew up in the countryside in Ireland, but have lived in lots of different places, urban and rural, in several countries as an adult. The last place I lived in England (midlands village) was the only place I’ve ever lived where I’ve been actively miserable, despite being surrounded by lovely countryside and having a large house and garden rather than the small London flat we’d lived in previously. I wasn’t expecting to find it a difficult place to live, as I’m from the country, I like being outdoors, I’m adaptable and pretty good at making friends in new places. This was the most depressingly insular, High Tory Brexiteering place I’d ever lived. People seemed to be locked in social formations they’d been in since their school days, and foreigners with funny names who worked FT and only had one child were just too weird. We moved on. Given a time machine, I’d not move there again.

Grew up in a rural village, fucking hate village life. Will always be a town girl from
now on

You don't like them because they're older than you and have different political views?

You are the definition of narrow minded. Yes the irony.

So I'm not sure that you sound like 'a dick' but it does make you sound rather on the dopey side I'm afraid.

It depends.
Near enough to London/ Bristol/ Edinburgh/ Glasgow and you’ll have younger more left wing neighbours who wfh or commute a couple of days a week.
A generation ago 2 very very similar couples in my family (left wing engaged community minded) moved to very different very rural areas. They both hustled, made friends, volunteered, hosted and were general useful villagers. One was practically driven out with pitchforks from rural Devon. The other one is still in rural Suffolk with a strong tribe of retired and semi retired psychotherapists, activists, musicians etc. Where they live has council buses to excellent schools and lots of teenagers.

I think you need to define backwards OP in your experience. I wouldn't equate 'ring wing thinking' with being 'backwards' necessarily. Is there an intolerance of different races or bitchiness about single mothers? Is that the kind of thing you mean?

😂Ah but what are the pensions like?
To be honest I feel a bit left out, I've lived in the country for eons and don't think I've fallen over one drug dealer, let alone the thousands of them that people think are populating our villages. Having said that I might be looking at Geoff who runs the village shop (aged approx 803 years old) in a more dubious way from here on in...

Oh and I'm not and never have been a Conservative either!

Is there anyone else you would like to insult? Don't hold back!

Hi OP, I don't think one choice is necessarily better for kids. I'm in Zone 2 London. But we did live for 4 years in sleepy suburbs.

As with everything there are pros and cons to each option, not one being better than the other.

It depends on what kind of upbringing you want your kids to have. And it can be different to your family and friends.

Being close to activities, parks, museums, galleries, a million restaurants and people from all walks of life were important to me.

I can also see rural living benefits like cleaner air quality, less risk of seeing or being a victim of crime, closer link to nature etc

You can't just say one is better. Do what you want OP, your kids, your choice.

Having done the move from London to a village when my DCs were much younger my observation would be that a lot of parents (mostly conservative with small and often with a large C) moved to a village and micromanaged their DCs social lives in an attempt to keep them away from 'trouble' but (teenagers being resourceful danger seeking missiles) their DCs found plenty of ways to seek it out.

Don’t let facts get in the way of your anecdotes 😄

Our rural community definitely isn't more tory.

I can't think of anything worse than living in a city. My ideal house would be miles from anyone, but very close to a forest and a lake.

Sadly, jobs and schools and lack of money mean I have to live nearer to society than I prefer. As such, I have found a small town near plenty of countryside to be a fantastic compromise. With both a lake and a forest within 10 minutes walk/drive.

However, I am a right-wing voter, so my opinion is probably worthless!

It’s interesting that you assume right wing to be an insult. Again, statistically, it’s a fact that older people tend to be more right wing. If you look at voting trends those who are older and live in rural areas are more likely to be conservative.

Just because it’s not your personal experience doesn’t make it untrue 😄

Great, you’re an outlier then. Outliers exist - doesn’t change the general trend.

I think rural living is good for kids is just an „old chestnut“. You only have to look at the rates of alcohol and drug abuse in young adults in rural communities to see how disaffected young people are in them. I say that as someone who has lived in rural communities and has seen the damage. Life is harder for kids in rural communities and they have absolutely less to do. There are fewer work opportunities as teens and it can sometimes feel hard to escape.

I will add, it might not be coke in clubs, but weed & mushrooms in a field is a very real rural teenage pastime when the nearest cinema or bowling alley is an hour's walk in the darkness!

And there can be a great deal of hidden poverty in rural communities which massively increases the vulnerability of young people to being sucked into drug misuse.

We live in a small village. We also have a train station 5 minutes away so teens can very easily get to a city, or even to London for the day if they want. Seems a good compromise. They also have a lot to do round here that suits their interests, and had a range of stuff for little kids when younger.

Having grown up in a city and moved to the sticks 20-odd years ago I can see both sides. It was nice for the kids when they were little, but at 17 and 18 they are very sheltered. Transport to friends and parties is limited to parents. As for drugs we’ve got county lines running out of the next village over, and they do occasionally grace us with their presence. Drugs are everywhere.