Colleague said I look like I’m pregnant

[MyLemonKoala]

AIBU to be upset by this?

At work today one of my colleagues who I’m not close with came and RUBBED my belly and said ‘wow, you look like you have a second one in there’

My DS is 2, I’m single and everyone is aware of the fact that I have accepted I won’t be having anymore children as I’m happy single after an awful abusive relationship.

I told her this was rude and she said ‘I’m sorry you’re so sensitive’.

I’m aware I have put on some weight in the last year as my appearance is the last thing on my mind right now due to simply being in survival mode after a lucky escape from ex. But that’s no one’s place to tell me!

Im still upset by this comment!

No!!!

had nothing like this before from her!

I would report this to HR, she shouldn't be commenting on your body, or touching you, or calling you sensitive.

And just to add this has happened to me recently. My eldest is 7 and youngest 2.5. Still have a little pouch, what can I do. Got asked at the airport if I was pregnant recently by airport staff. I think they were just trying to seat us but it's not ever a nice feeling. I have had 3 losses before my youngest, and won't ever try again so it's a big triggering. People should not comment on other people's bodies. Your body grew a beautiful little human being! It's sounds like you've been through a lot and are doing great! Don't listen to this colleague it's not appropriate behaviour at all.

She's an arse. Yes, you must report her.

It makes no difference that she is middle aged. She shouldn't have been touching you and she had no right to make those comments.

At least everyone else backed you up. What on earth would possess her to do such a thing?! The faux apology is the worst be for me -and ironic seeing as she called YOU sensitive but is now walking around sulking and miserable over being told she's wrong.

You aren't silly at all. She was a nasty mean bitch who got pleasure out of making you feel bad about yourself. Sounds like you have had it rough, any decent person would not add to this. Report!

She's unbelievable rude and a HR red flag.

Firstly, she touched you uninvited.
Secondly, she commented on your body.
Thirdly, her "apology" was a further insult.

She obviously has something wrong with her that she needs to put you down in order to make herself feel better. It's far more a reflection on her, than you.

Definitely tell HR. That's awful. I hope you are ok OP. You sound like you have fought a tough battle and are doing well for yourself and dc.
Idiots like this just try to put people down. Touching you is unacceptable.

Well, the important thing for the moment is you and your child are safe.
And as they say where I come from, there is a big pot of boiling water for every swine, somewhere.
😉

@MyLemonKoala she’s bang out of order.

This happened to me! Some people are just thoughtless arseholes

I wish I’d have reported her to HR!

That is absolutely shocking.
Definitely report it and the names of those who witnessed it and rallied round you to support.

That is really unacceptable.
You are not sensitive, that is wholly unacceptable.
To touch you, insult you, and then gaslight you for telling her she was rude.

You sound like an amazing woman to have come through all of that.

Please report her.
You do not have to tolerate such verbal abuse.

In your place I think I would be telling HR you don't feel very safe around her.

What the hell is she doing touching you?

The idea of someone touching my belly is making my skin crawl. Your action was perfect, but tell HR.

I agree with all the people saying report her to HR for shaming and touching you. You do not need to justify your weight to any of us. I'm pleased you are out a terrible relationship, just take care of yourself and don't let the awful woman get to you. xx

If she does it again just say you could lose the weight if you felt you needed to, but she will always be a bitch.

But report her to management.

So sorry OP - she sounds awful. tell your manager and report her to HR.

1. what she said is unacceptable
2. she shouldn’t be touching her colleagues regardless
3. you told her she was rude and gave her the opportunity to reflect on what she did and apologise and she still didn’t

She’s a bitch. You never say that ever! I’d spit in her tea.

My first time posting on here and feeling so supported thank you everyone you’re all lovely 💐

Will report to HR first thing tomorrow. Grateful for feeling validated and seen by you lovely lot!

Awful!

You should report her, she should not be commenting on your body or touching you!

I'd have instinctively stamped her on the foot and watched her limp away.
What an absolute bitch.

Awful. Yes def report.
she needs to be spoken to, given a warning, and told in no uncertain terms that touching you like that is totally unacceptable.

That is really out of order. I can’t fathom why she would think any of that interaction was acceptable.

Absolutely report it - but check your internal processes first. Your direct line manager may be the correct next step, rather than HR.

Agree, she needs reporting. I can't believe people like this exist in real life!! What a cow.

You can lose weight. She will always be an arsehole.

But definitely report to your manager and HR. And don't feel any embarrassment by the way. This is only (hugely) embarrassing for her. What an idiot.

'I'm sorry you're so sensitive' - wow that is some shitty comeback. Most people would be mortified that they'd offended you, but not this cow - she'll just make out you're the one with the problem.