To think that two grown men could have decided this...?

[5FootMama]

So, in the throes of a class party at soft play where I was trying to both sort the table for the cake and deal with the small child having a meltdown. I tell the husband, he needs to sort the cake and the candles. He looks clueless. I just say "put the candles in the cake, bring it here for lighting" he goes with another dad. He comes back "where are the candles?" .... "In the bag next to the cake".... Come back "wheres the lighter? ... "In the same bag... Just look"

I have a clingy limpet child in the verge of tears, whilst I'm sorting the table out, and 2 minutes later the men both come traipsing back saying "we need you for the cake there's a problem"

Brilliant 🙄 I go back to cake to find out the issue, thinking it's been dropped or some kid has stuck their hand in it or something..

No. No... THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ON THE CAKE TO PUT THE FUCKING CANDLES.

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

People do also project tiny droplets when speaking face to face, you exchange germs when you kiss on the cheeks, hug, shake hands, etc. I mean, I would be put off the cake if a kid or adult spits a lot when blowing the candles, true, but at a kids birthday party the cake is usually for the other kids anyway, and unless the birthday kid is ill, I don't see the issue.

We’ll all give you an alibi @5FootMama

I’ve never known anyone spit on a birthday cake.

Apparently. Second thread I’ve read this morning where it’s been suggested that mothers/wives/partners are responsible when men are basically useless. Reminds me of a conversation I had in which Harvey Weinstein’s crimes were actually the fault of all those actresses who ‘use sex’ to gain professional advantage, so that’s probably why that poor powerful man got so confused as to whether or not he was engaged in, you know, coercion and rape …

If you look hard enough, everything men do is usually the fault of a woman - from femicide to fucking cake candles - and there are still plenty of actual women who are very happy to prop up that narrative.

But no, OP, YADNBU.

Absolutely embarrassing for them

With my kids, I use the phrase 'I trust your judgement' and leave them to it - now, I do have to be willing to accept the consequences if they get 'creative' but still, I think that that's better than having to be everyone's brain.

I don't think it would have been possible to keep my contempt off my face for those men.

For all they knew, you did. As before, you sound just like me.

Was my DH the other dad? 😂 sounds exactly like him. 😂

Young children's birthday parties must be fun in your country, is lusty singing of Hapoy Birthday also forbidden?

So I’m completely with you… total idiocy and a wonder how they rule the earth.

So I read your post to dh to show him I’m not the only one who complains how dim men can be. He defends your dh! Apparently it’s not deliberate incompetence, it’s ’if I get it wrong, she’ll be having a go at me forever!’

poor miserable bastards. When are we crushing the patriarchy by instructing them to do easy things and hiding things in plain sight?

Presumably people where you live you never breathe near anyone.

What did I write that makes me sound like I care where candles go on a cake?

I'll wait...

I am glad I don't work with the said two men.

Literally everyone I know with small children. Actually, all the adults who I have seen getting a birthday cake too.

You've got a point! I feel I have trained my dch in the small practical things like this, and a thousand other things that DH is clueless at, and DH has taught them how to play with Lego!

But how will their birthday wish come true?
Blowing out the candles in one go is part of the ritual of having a birthday cake, and a big part of the fun.

I think it's bananas that people are " ewww germs" over blowing out candles on a cake... But no qualms over 40+ gerny kids in close contact in a soft play

Ha ha! That’s me too. My DH knows the cake cutting is his responsibility at all of our kids parties. Now the kids are older, I get them to do it themselves 😂.

Most of your original post made you sound like a coiled spring about to take off...that's how it came over to me, and your replies to me aren't diminishing that illusion either. 😂

Is “candles on cakes are disgusting” the new “people who don’t shower three times a day are grim” and “I change my bedsheets nightly or I don’t feel clean”?

Oh dear. Imagine their poor wives having to sleep with these clowns and pretend to to enjoy it

Do these men have jobs or hobbies that require decision making ?

Well maybe it was the final straw of incompetence that got to me.

Hopefully you're over it now.

He is a fucking idiot