CF Stole my hedge

[12FreeRangeEggs]

We live in a naice part of London which thinks it’s the countryside but is actually just a green suburb. To the side and front of my property is our hedge. It’s a mix hedge; Holly, Ivy and other trees. Our Holly has been very good this autumn and we have lots of red berries. I make a door wreath for my front door each Christmas, and I usually forage from my own hedge to make my wreath. So far this year I haven’t gotten around to it but was hoping to make my wreath this weekend.

Well, I returned this afternoon and there was a lady stood on my driveway with a large blue IKEA bag in one hand and a pair of pruners in the other, helping herself to my holly.

I politely challenged her, but she didn’t seem to think that she was doing anything wrong helping herself to my Holly in my hedge. Infact when I protested that I was going to make my own wreath with my own Holly she told me she had a business making Christmas wreaths and usually only made 10 a season despite huge demand because she simply doesn’t have the time but was willing to make a professional wreath for me using my own Holly and charge me £85. I, less politely this time, declined her offer for a professional wreath and asked for my Holly back. She refused and accused me of being bitter and uncharitable.

I was actually joking because I used to live in Lewisham and know what it's like. Not just holly got knicked.

Whip her with holly twigs!

Ring 999!!! Omg 😳 that is ridiculous advice!!!

id ring 101 and log it with them, it is theft but a non emergency,

Since when was Lewisham a green suburb?

Right, that makes more sense!

(Nearly 40 years in Lewisham. It's not as gritty as it was, but ...)

Are people seriously suggesting the OP rings the police? Only on MN.

Hahaha ask her if her materials are ethically sourced and are British grown - see where that convo takes her 😂 this is a great story to tell at Christmas parties - she’s at least given you that the cheeky mare

It's bonkers, isn't it?

I was joking.
See above.

A bag of soot and an orange for her on Christmas!!!

Public warning,
Seen in the vicinity of old leafy London
The Phantom Holly Snitcher

Do not approach this person, she may be armed with secateurs and a large blue holdall.
A generous reward is offered for the return of any booty this CF has nicked. Plus classics status for the OP. 😁

YABU for saying you live in a 'naice' area.

Does she also use an allotment which isn't hers?.

You don't even need to book a place on the course, just find out what the address is.

Then turn up and dig up some of the plants in her garden or take the inevitable wreath she'll have on her front door 😆

If this is the standard for classics these days,MN really is fucked.

£85?! I'm missing a trick! I'm also in the London suburbs; I make a massive one for my church for free. It takes me about 5 hours to collect all the holly and ivy (from my own garden and from public land with the permission of the council) and 8 hours to make the wreath, with extra time to bake orange slices etc. I could be charging a fortune!

Oh, please do this and report back ! 😅

@MaisieMacabe there was a thread where the new owner of a house found she had a allotment squatter on her property. The same 'lady' perhaps?
However I did love the hedge shaggers. That might be in classics.

@Merrymess
Bah humbug?

I'm not the judge of what goes into classics I just find this very funny.

You need vengeance op or she'll be back every year!
Turn up, swipe the holly 'that's mine thank you' and leave lobbing a grenade over your shoulder as you go, striding out the door steely blue eyed, not even looking over your shoulder at the inferno behind you.

That was indeed the story to which I was referring. Quite the saga.

I suspect, the OP does indeed know where she lives. Most people usually are pretty clear on where they live. It’s a bit weird if you know better than she does. Unless you tend to find you generally know better than other people.

I want to see her instagram page