To think that if you’re even slightly rude to retail staff you should be banned from the store.

[ThisAquaCrow]

Based on a conversation I’ve just had with a family member who has left work today again in tears because approximately 90% of the people she deals with range from low level rude right through to ‘you fucking bitch’ rude.

What is WRONG with people and if you are rude to retail staff on a regular basis, WHY?

90% of their customers are rude? I don't believe that

Customers being rude, nasty and abusive really got to me.

What positive things do these customers think they can get out of acting from this? Nothing.

Think retailers need do be more on the side of their employees. Asking customers to leave is the first step. If they come back and be abusive - banned. As if you do a survey on people who have left retail since Covid and never worked in retail since. If you ask them what 3-5 things made them leave. Rudeness from customers will be top of the list for all retail. Supermarkets, clothes shops, bookshops etc. As some reasons may only apply to one or two categories of shops

If the customer goes to other shops, acts abusive then eventually they would be banned from all shops. If they don’t have a car, then serves them right!

I only wrote yabu because slightly rude is vague and the definition from person to person is personal.

I’ve done customer-facing roles in two countries, dealing with people from various cultures and ages and my slightly rude would be pretty low to some. I also think it opens up some retail employees into being discriminatory. I can count on one hand how many absolutely rude customers I’ve had, but I have also seen my own colleagues get annoyed or upset with customers for things that wouldn’t bother me, such as, a customer wanting to wrap their own purchase, doesn’t greet them right away or at all, on the phone while checking out (as long as they’re not holding up the line or we’re busy, I don’t care) and other “slightly rude” things.

The thing with a lot of customers now is they appear to have adopted an if we shout loud enough and threaten to go to social media we will get what ever it is we want whether that is reasonable or not. Last week we had a member of the public taking pictures of staff on the self scan for not packing his shopping after he was politely told staff could help but not do it all as they had other customers to deal with. He was not disabled, was with his wife , another lady and two teenagers about 15-16. He was just pissed off because there was no manned checkouts and he didn't want to go through self scan. That bit I do understand but then to start taking pictures and calling people lazy cunts whilst sitting on one self scan watching his wife scan the shopping on another, saying he was posting the pictures on SM telling everyone how bloody rude and lazy the staff were being is ridiculous.
I am sure retail staff can sometimes be rude but I have yet to hear any call customers cunts, lazy , thick, fucking useless, a minimum wage monkey , or any other such insult but I hear those comments directed at retail workers almost every day

I am of the opinion that people who always seem to have issues/conflicts with other people are themselves the problem. After all, they are the only common factor and I never seem to have such problems.

I would agree with protecting from serious/personal verbal attacks. Low level rudeness is very subjective and enforcing it would be terrifying for part of the population - was my "good evening" loud enough? Isn't it too much bother asking about...?

pumpkinpillow · Today 17:42

"90% of people being rude seems really high.
The majority of people I overhear in shops are polite."

Me too.

The best/worst story is somebody kicking off because they weren’t given a refund for a pack of nappies. 1/3 of the nappies had been used but the baby had grown….

You don't have to live in the UK to complain.

@ThisAquaCrow - how would you define being ‘even slightly rude’?

If you are advocating for people to be permanently banned from a shop, you need to be able to quantify what counts as a banning offence.

If someone who has just had some really bad news (a relative with cancer, a death in the family, job loss etc) goes to a shop and isn’t cheerful and chatty with the shop staff, or looks grumpy - do they deserve to be banned for life?

No-one should face abuse, verbal or physical, at work, and I absolutely agree that people who do this do deserve to be banned - but under your scheme, anyone who wasn’t 100% friendly and obsequious, would risk a ban, and I don’t think that is reasonable.

I have no doubt it’s increased significantly - I’d still be shocked if it’s 90%

Let’s Hope it’s just a bad day. It could also be her perception of it as she’s gotten older - I’ve found I’m a lot more intolerable with perimenopause!

I haven't read the whole thread but I work with the public, and yes they can be rude, so can staff and I'm sure I haven't been the best behaved throughout my career.
Your colleague sounds like she needs to get a grip. So many people have absolutely no resilience these days.
It's work, you don't know these people, who cares!

I had a customer try to return a girl’s coat two years after purchasing as she grew out of it.

Another time a customer was given some babygros from an aunt. The tag was old. Looked at a label and knew how the date codes on clothing worked.

”Does your aunt have a 13 year old son?” “Yes, why?”. “These were purchased 13 years ago”,

For me the rudeness has certainly increased over 2-3 years. It’s the impatience of people.

April 2020, ok in queuing up for 40 mins to get into the supermarket. Oct 2022, if not served within 40 seconds, they tut and sigh.

I remember a lady saying to me “I have been queuing for 35 mins”. This happened 15 mins into my shift. She wasn’t there when i walked in 5-7 minutes before my shift started. I said you have not been there for that long. Manager heard her raising her voice. Then a customer who said she didn’t see this customer when entered the store 20 minutes before. Later on, the manager showed me the CCTV of me entering the store (customer wasn’t there) and then when she entered. Manager asked me to time the time between her entering and her throwing her arms using timestamp on screen. 43 seconds. She got banned as she was swearing

A culture has developed in the last few years of people being 'victims' of customer service, you used to get the odd couple who would try it on for free stuff, but it's not even about that any more I don't think, it's about the attention, it's about having people pander to you, knowing you're being unreasonable and doing it because they then feel superior to someone, boosting ego's.
It's almost fashionable to tell your tale of woe on social media or a review about how awfully you've been treated by someone in customer service.

I've had one today, utterly convinced she was in for a fight, utterly convinced she was going to be treated badly and she went on the attack straight away, telling me what she wasn't putting up with from me. Literally had smiled and said hello. That was it.
She wanted to change something and had convinced herself that it was going to be an issue, it wasn't and never is, because we get that kind of request a lot and it's not an issue, she'd booked herself online so this was literally her first interaction face to face with anyone from the business.
Once she actually told me what she wanted it got sorted in seconds, with a smile and polite manner, yet she complained it had taken too long - it took that long because she spent so long telling me what she wasn't putting up with, and if she'd just said what she wanted, then she'd have been on her way again inside 30 seconds. She knew fine well that the reason it took that long was because of her, but she needed something to complain about, having already decided there would be an issue and that I would be unreasonable, and because I'd done what she wanted she needed to blame me for something and feel like she had the upper hand. I'd robbed her of the opportunity to be a victim and feel justified in having a go.

That's the kind of interaction that's increasing and it's like a constant drip, drip, drip of negativity and it can affect your mental health at times because you're in the wrong for merely existing some days.

As much as a place won't survive if it doesn't have any customers, it also won't survive if it doesn't have any staff, and staff either leave, or become so disillusioned that they don't care any more - and that's where we're at now. A lot of places can't recruit and retain staff and one of the reasons is because of the way they are treated by customers.

i have a family member who works in hospitality and the rudeness and abuse they face is disgusting . People can be absolute arseholes . The me me me entitled culture is astonishing. Id love someone to explain to me why they think it’s ok to be so rude and obnoxious to workers ?

Lots of people have explained it on this thread 😎

Probably a controversial take, but I've worked in retail for 15 years and only ever had 1 rude customer. I think if customers are being rude all throughout the day then it's an awful company to work for or she has terrible customer service.

I'm definitely on board if it works both ways! There is an Asda near me that I try and avoid, if possible as all the staff are awful. I don't doubt that one of their till staff complained about me being rude to her last week. I was rude, because she was being incredibly rude to me. I don't see why I should just meekly stand there and tolerate it.

Other Asdas are fine.. I'm not sure why this one in particular is like this.

Low level rude is for me (over the phone)

Sighing when I ask to confirm details
Saying can we not hurry this up a bit, I haven't got all day when all I've asked is their name
Being snappy when asked anything at all
Sarcasm (thanks for all your help, not that you did help type thing)
Two people talking at once (there's always someone in the background saying "no tell her that, just give me the phone")
Referring to me as a girl
Swearing under your breath
Getting angry with me because I can't hear you as you're on a train with a shit signal

Then there's the out and out rudeness/shouting etc

Think rude customers need to have their conversations recorded when speaking to retail workers: Then forced to watch it. If they don’t flinch or apologise - nasty people full stop.

Low level rude, no, because they might not be being rude. They may have communication problems or be going through something that makes their interactions awkward that day.

The day I went to the store to buy something I needed to bury a family member, I went to the self checkout and walked straight past the security person at the entry when leaving. They backed off because I think they got a vibe. It took everything I had to do that trip and buy that item and hold it together. Interacting would have been the end of my composure. It wasn't rudeness, even if it looked that way. It was self-preservation. I shouldn't be banned or have to explain.

ND people can sometimes come across as rude when they're not. They might just have a mannerism, lack of eye contact or have trouble communicating. They might struggle with being confronted about it.

Some people would call being fairly assertive about customer rights rude, when it's not.

I've come across plenty of rude retail staff. What recourse do I have there?

Quite....

To be honest it sometimes is frustrating when call centres just read from a script and ask for information which one has provided at least twice before ( possibly to different staff members or keying it on the phone). Sometimes one just wants a normal two way conversation as to what the problem is and how it can be resolved.
I'm sure I'm guilty of asking whether we can skip some of the script reading !! ( though I'd try to do it nicely).

YANBU, I work in a dr’s surgery and I am getting really disillusioned by how rude people are ☹️. Yes, some are lovely and grateful for you helping them but there seems to be an increasing amount of rude people, it’s making me think about looking for another job tbh.