AIBU to tell SIL to get fucked?

[Pooliny]

SIL asked what we were up to this weekend. I said, as another storm is on the way, we were going to have some mulled wine and a cheeseboard while watching Christmas films. She then did cat's bum face and said she thought it was so gross that people do nothing but stuff their faces with unhealthy food in the run up to Christmas. She said this, by the way, in front of her teenage daughter who has struggled badly with body image issues. I said, lightly, that I'm very sleep deprived due to my velcro 5 month old and, as last Christmas (and for the whole 9 months of my pregnancy) I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was too queasy to enjoy any nice food, this Christmas I fully intend to eat all the cheese and all the chocolate. She rolled her eyes at me and said "whatever makes you feel better about yourself".

I said nothing but I wanted to tell her to fuck off tbh. AIBU?

I would text her and say “please don’t food shame me in front of your daughter again, it’s humiliating for me and a toxic thing for your daughter to witness”. But then again I’m pretty impulsive and often get myself into trouble!

I have a SIL who rejoices in telling us what she thinks we're doing wrong, but often in indirect and underhand ways.

It's fucking annoying. I now avoid her. Your SIL, OP, has given you all the reasons you need.

🎶Christmas time,
SIL loves a whine,
Children should eat grapes at festive time.
Yule logs in my tummy,
Throw mince pies in for free,
It’s time to unleash the true gannet in me!🎶
Sing that down the phone to her.
Preferably after a few 🍷

"Oh SIL, just for once can you at least try to not be a total cunt."

flounce

Interested what she has planned for the weekend.... yoga and quinoa knitting.

"Yeah, we've decided to do joy instead of neurosis. It's amazing, you should give it a try."

Can you just say 'That's nice...' whenever she opens her mouth with her wisdom?

It's not even about "feeling better about yourself." It's about you having a well deserved pleasant time with your kids. They'll remember that, while her daughter will remember her mom spoiling everything.

Also, downtime is healthy for everyone.

My btsht SIL who still lives with PIL and lives like a kid, usually starts these run downs with ‚what sort of mother would…‘. Often after something my husband has chosen, but that is conveniently ignored. SIL doesn’t like children at all and rarely spends time around them, but is a constant fountain of malicious ‘advice’. I wish I could tell her to FO, but wouldn’t give her the pleasure.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend...🎄. SIL FREE....🤗

Oh she absolutely deserves to be told to fuck off.

I think you should wrap up two carrots for her Christmas gift - one to eat and the other to stick up her bum.

This, but make it ‘attempt to food shame me’, leave out the bit about it being humiliating too as there is nothing to be ashamed of (the SIL should be ashamed of herself).

Not at all U. But next time she asks you just say you are going to the gym all weekend and trying out some new spinach and kale smoothies recommended to you by a nutritionist friend. That should shut her up. Or at least give her a cats bum face for a different reason. Just have some fun with the judgemental old boot.

Wow, movies, mulled wine, cheeseboard and a baby to cuddle, I don't think I could imagine a more lovely weekend. 😍
Just laugh when SIL starts and maybe raise your eyebrows in your neices direction - if you dare.

Could be worse - at least she hasn't invited herself round 😀

Would've been great to say, "Do you always speak like this in front of your daughter?".

What an absolute killjoy she is.

Happy people don't publicly express such strong, judgemental sentiments about other people's choices so don't let a miserable person make you angry. I suspect if you respond with humour it will take the wind out of her sails because she will know you don't take her seriously and that will definitely spoil things for her. Misery loves company, let hers stay lonely.

You've had some brilliant responses offered here, I'd use some of them the next time she mistakenly thinks you'll appreciate her opinion.

Have a lovely weekend.

What a miserable sour cow! If she's suffering from ED, then she should still know to be polite and not express disgust about other people's food. No one's forcing her to eat it.
I can imagine in every other way she's absolutely charming, and the life and soul. Rancontuer of the fucking century. 🤣

She then did cat's bum face and said she thought it was so gross that people do nothing but stuff their faces with unhealthy food in the run up to Christmas.

Is that what she actually, geniunely said, or are you exaggerating?

I’d just tell her that she’s free to do things her way, and that you’ll carry on doing the things that you enjoy.

If she persists, I’d say that everyone knows it’s no secret she does things differently to you, that neither you nor she will ever change, and that it’s best to leave it at that. After that, grey rock.

Just how is red wine and cheese unhealthy??

it’s not ultra processed crap!