Bf refusing to take care of our cat

[Jellyfishy20]

This year has been hard as I’ve been diagnosed with pcos and sleep apnea and also lost three family members in the space of three months so my mum booked a family holiday for a week in Spain. I have recently adopted a stray kitten with my boyfriend of three years, at first he didn’t want me to keep him but eventually fell in love with him. I’m due to fly to Spain next week and asked my boyfriend to take care of him whilst I’m away. At first he said he would but now he is being horrible to me saying he wished we never got him, how I’m abandoning him and the cat, he’s never doing another favour for me again, I have to pay for both of them when I’m away (I was going to put money towards food just as I always do each week) and it’s just making me feel sad because I want to enjoy the last couple of days and if he asked me to look after his family’s pet I happily would. My cat is too young to be put in a cattery and I feel like it would be too stressful and I don’t have anybody else to watch him. AIBU for expecting my boyfriend to look after our pet? He keeps saying he’s not going to do it but I fly away on Tuesday so I have no other option.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship tbh. Are you both young? Is kitten vaccinated as thought 4 months was not too young for residential care.

Get a pet-sitter and ditch the boyfriend.

Give him what he wants. Go on your holiday. Kick him out when you get back. The day you get back.

If there’s no one else to ask for help then leave kitten food and and cat litter for the kitten.

Enjoy your holiday, and once you are home finish with this awful person.

You and your kitten are to come first from then on, your disability money is for you for your needs.

in contrast to you we have rescue kittens. In paperwork terms I adopted them and paid for them, as one name on the forms, but the house and garden and both of us were vetted. My DP has covered all the vet appointments that were booked in for them so they are both neutered and some checkups. So five visits so far in work hours he works FT and has slotted them in and taken breaks to cover it. He’s also paid for an unexpected emergency vets visit one weekend as I hadn’t budgeted for that. We’ve shared all the feeding, the litter trays, the purchasing of everything we need and of course the cuddles between us both as we are a team and the kittens are our family. When my DP has worked away for a few days I of course cover everything here and it would be the same if it was me who was away.

Your kitten (and you) deserve the same x

You can’t leave a kitten on their own all week! But it should be okay to find a sitter. Although if I was concerned that the bf might harm the cat then I’d tell my family I couldn’t go on the holiday.

After this I won’t be asking him for favours and won’t be doing any favours for him either.

I don’t blame you. But when you get to this point, there’s no relationship left. May as well just get the dumpi otherwise there’s just arguments, resentment, point scoring and misery that increases every week the relationship limps along. You’ll just start hating each other more and more. Get rid now.

Well it's no surprise as to why your family hate him.

I think the thing in question here isn't the cat but why the hell you are with a nasty leech????!!!

Dump him

You are in a controlling abusive relationship.

i dont know if you realise this but even from the tiny bit you have posted an it it is obvious to me and others on this thread.

please look into leaving. Don’t waste years of your life thinking we are wrong or your family don’t like him because they don’t understand him or how much he means to you then down the line realise it for yourself.
do not have children with this person he is showing you how he would behave as a father with this kitty.

this man does not love you the way you deserve and he does not treat you the way you deserve.
he never ever will. He is showing you who he is now so see that and react accordingly.

The kitten will be fine in a cattery. It's a much safer option that leaving it with that pathetic, manipulative, man-child you're in a fucked up relationship with.

I don't understand why women put up with this crap.

There are pet sitting services - where they come to your home and feed and check on the pets.

https://welovepets.care/ is one but there are others out there otherwise contact cattery and see what they actually say.

I'd be seriously unimpressed with a boy friend like this though.

Put the cat into a cattery, he'll be fine, warm, fed, looked after and above all, safe.

Do NOT leave the cat with this abusive man-child cock-lodger you seem to have found yourself lumbered with.

He does not love you. He has shown you that over and over, you are a mealticket and house to live in with sex provided... he does not care about you.

I really hope that in writing your post and replies here, you've grasped for yourself that this man is a user, not a true partner in any sense of the term.

Get the cat safe, tell this arsehole to sling his hook, get the locks changed and fuck off on holiday.

I woudn't trust him to look after the kitten. Ask around family and friends to see if anyone is willing to come and feed the kitten or let it live with them for a week.
You could also use a pet sitting service. Or ask a neighbour even if you don't know them particularly well.

And kick the asshole out. Cocklodging waste of space.

He is trying his best to ruin your holiday hoping you will be worried about your cat all that week you are away. He is a a complete wank stain and I would dump him because someone who really cared for you would be pleased you are going away after all you’ve been through.

Ughh what a vile man.
OP listen to your family. He is a dick.

you live together and he is threatening to neglect a pet. This is the kind of man who will someday leave the house a disaster zone the first time he is left alone for an hour with your shared child. He is not long term material.

So he's an arsehole, doesn't respect you, sees no need to support you and won't look after your cat.

He sounds absolutely horrible and like a complete waste of time. What sort of shitty partner holds something like this over your head? He's hateful and callous.

Up to you but I don't like him.

Kick the cocklodger out. He is lazy, entitled and manipulative!

Your family is right about him! Enjoy your holiday, he can move out while you're gone.

Dump this selfish fool and then bring the kitten over to my house. If you live near Somerset I'll look after it.

Can you pay for a cat sitter to come into your home to feed the kitten and deal with the litter?

It's what we do when we go away. Putting her in cattery is too stressful.

How old is the kitten? Where did you get it? How long have you had it?

Kittens are very sensitive to home environments and are like babies. Personally I wouldn't go on holiday leaving a new kitten, but it depends how long you've had it.

Also, when you're ready I would get shut of the boyfriend. Sounds like a tool

Don’t let him look after the kitten now, he will cause or invent an issue to ruin your trip.

Leave it with a mate

Dump this muppet

Enjoy your holiday

OP I’m sorry for your recent losses. This man is a leech. I wouldn’t trust him with my cat, sorry. Can’t you get a friend to look after it? Or a foster for a week? You know the ultimate answer, he’s treating u like dirt after a tragic period in your life. A decent man would be looking after you, not messaging other women! You need him out and soon!!! Don’t put up either his crap. Can’t believe he expects u to buy him food!!! Hes pathetic. Your family don’t like him for a reason, listen to them

I rented a room and my house mate had a cat. I love cats and he was gorgeous.

I was really shocked when she asked if I could look after him while she was away for a few days. Of course I'd look after him. I adored the little fur ball. Can't believe she thought she needed to ask.

I'd been looking forward to having him all to myself 😁

Cattery and bin the shit boyfriend