Is it possible to live on 1700 per month in these circumstances?

[Siskosisko]

... after mortgage has been paid. All other bills (utilities, food etc) will have to come out of that 1700. Facing a difficult situation due to job losses (both me and DH as the same time) as one of the children is very ill and need a lot of time off. Other DC is severely disabled and issues with school etc. So a lot going on and starting a new job not realistic for either of us due to both DC having such high needs and DC2 being in crisis. Current (flexible) employers even had enough so cannot see how someone else would take us on.

We do have saving as we always worked, so no UC.

I haven't slept for a few days as I am so worried about finances. DC are 15 and 17.

Up until recently, we were living on benefits (me claiming carers allowance, dh claiming PIP, plus 1 non-disabled child), here's what we did to get by:
Claim universal credit (you'll be able to do this once your savings are under 16,000)
Claim council tax reduction (based on 0 income or benefits income, we paid nothing)
Use community pantry (may not work for feeding your children but could help feed you and your DH)
Claim all carers discounts (cinema, swimming etc)
Claim any discounts you can on utilities
Buy/sell on vinted
Claim back hospital visit costs
We tried making extra cash from surveys/playing games but it's tedious for not much return.

That lump sum is very much worth having even though it's not life changing but it is a valuable cushion and I hope you can manage to last out another month until they launch the redundancy programme.

I realise it's not easy when you are already exhausted so I wonder if there is any local council respite scheme where you can get a temporary helper? Any volunteer centre or local charity schemes for families in need of support? My local council has a volunteer hub and the council website lists of all the local voluntary schemes and organisations, both council and non-council.

And your husband being burnt out could sign off sick. He also needs respite but once he's finished with his current job and recovered his health he may change his mind in future about doing some temporary or occasional work.

Is your DH undiagnosed autistic do you think? Just asking as your ds's autism has come from somewhere and you're talking about him feeling burned out which is not uncommon with ASD. You also give the impression that his thinking is quite black and white. Might be way off but just a thought.

If DH is stopping work could he start doing appointments so then you don't have to? And rather than staying awake and watching DS 24/7 could he just sleep in his room with him? That way you could take your redundancy but then get another job so you have more money coming in.

DH is NT. just tired. But so am I. But I am more terrified about the future hence more willing to carry on working . I work all school hours, do all the holiday child care, i do all appointments, sleep on the floor next to DC2 (suicide watch). I deal with all the paperwork (DLA, pip, Ehcp stuff, school meetings and appointments). DH is not involved and does not want to be. He is moody and stressed DC2 is refusing to be alone with him as he explodes often. He will be able to look after DC1 but ultimately, I need to find a job where I can carry on caring esp for DC2 incl night watch, do the appointments and school runs.

It might be worth speaking to your social worker and asking them to complete a checklist for Continuing Healthcare (NHS) for your severely disabled DC. It’s a health and social care joint responsibility to provide a care package if the young person is eligible. It’s could give you extra support to manage their needs.

also local authorities should have an offer for Short Breaks to provide different forms of respite for families.

sorry to hear you are having a difficult time and hope things get better

I can guarantee OPs children won’t qualify for this based on what she has said about their needs. CHC funding is for those with primary health needs (significant health conditions) rather than social care needs. It is extremely hard to qualify for this funding

correct. They do not have health needs as such and would not qualify for CHC funding. Not even going to ask as it doesn't apply to us.

It may not apply in your case, but mental health difficulties and autism can, in some cases, qualify someone for children’s continuing care funding or adult’s CHC funding.

This is correct. It’s about the persistence and pervasiveness of need which cannot be met by Local Offer services, so more than what is ordinarily available is needed and should be jointly commissioned by health and care, also taking into account SEND. There are “challenging behaviour” and “mental health” domains in the eligibility test which indicate that the need is there. MH and Autism are considered health conditions in the National Framework.

Hope this may help in some small way.

Would you be eligible for more benefits if you paid £10k off your mortgage and reduced your savings?

This is in no way a reflection on the OP but in my opinion people should not be advising someone with thousands of pounds in the bank to use community pantries or food banks.

I am becoming very cynical about donating to these and I think I'm not the only one. A lot of the people who donate have very little themselves and don't expect to be giving to someone with ££££ in the bank.

If the OP doesn't get enough income to live off then they should slowly deplete their savings. At some point the OP would then become eligible for benefits and may still not need to use community pantries/food banks unless they find their benefits insufficient.

To use food projects when you don't need to in these difficult times is taking from those who don't actually have the choice to spend a bit of their savings on a big shop and is wrong.

I never suggested that they use a food bank. They're unlikely to be eligible. Our community pantry is a food waste scheme that is open to anyone regardless of income or savings. Nothing wrong with anyone who wants to signing up to these schemes.

I manage on much less. It takes meal planning, second hand clothes, no holidays, minimal kids clubs etc. But it definitely can be done.

Do you get DLA for the children? You can also get carers allowance, possibly both of you if you say you each care for a child I'm not sure on the rules. You will get free school meals too. Check if council tax discount could apply maybe they just look at income not savings.

You have savings so the main struggles won't hit you so bad. Every time my car breaks down or washing machine packs in it's hell.

If there is restructuring could they pay you some redundancy instead of dismissal?

I don't think you can claim UC if DC is living at home and attending college.

OP if you get on carers allowance and you take the DC to the cinema the carer can often get in free if they take a CA letter with you. There are also other places carers can get in free. They can get cheaper tickets on trains too if DC have a disabled train ticket.

Read the thread. In some situations, it is possible.

Times are tough for a lot of people and personally I don't think this stuff (food usually donated by suoermarkets I believe) should be hoovered up by people with thousands (over 16 thousand in this case). I am aware that there is nothing to stop anyone and it depends on your conscience.

But it is a big reason why ordinary people will stop supporting these projects as they are exploited by people who have plenty. Those will the sharpest elbows not necessarily in need at all.

'Ordinary people' (whoever they are) are not supporting these projects. The food you donate goes to the food bank, not food waste schemes. People use food waste schemes for lots of reasons, to stop the food going to landfill and being wasted - environmental, economic. Luckily the scheme near us passes no judgement on who deserves it and who doesnt!

Luckily for you if you have plenty of money but use a food project. Tight.

Yes you can. As others have said there won't be much left over for frivolity but you will be able to manage. It's a very stressful situation and I'm sorry this has happened.