Is it possible to live on 1700 per month in these circumstances?

[Siskosisko]

... after mortgage has been paid. All other bills (utilities, food etc) will have to come out of that 1700. Facing a difficult situation due to job losses (both me and DH as the same time) as one of the children is very ill and need a lot of time off. Other DC is severely disabled and issues with school etc. So a lot going on and starting a new job not realistic for either of us due to both DC having such high needs and DC2 being in crisis. Current (flexible) employers even had enough so cannot see how someone else would take us on.

We do have saving as we always worked, so no UC.

I haven't slept for a few days as I am so worried about finances. DC are 15 and 17.

I know that this is virtually nothing with what you have going on but for the cinema you can get a CEA card

https://www.ceacard.co.uk/eligibility

It costs £6 a year and allows a carer to enter the cinema for free. Unfortunately the disabled person has to pay full price so no student / child / other discounts.

thank you @sashh. filling in the cea application right now!

As well as a CEA card, ask about a carer’s ticket at each venue.

Have DC got disabled person’s railcards?

Have you looked to see if they qualify for Disabled Person’s National Concessionary Travel Passes? Eligibility varies area to area. They cover buses and in some areas local trains and trams.

Have you checked with the hospital about what qualifies for free parking? If DC have blue badges sometimes those with blue badges are free. Sometimes they have free or reduced parking for those who are regulars.

Have you checked if you/DC would be eligible for support under Healthcare Travel Costs Scheme?

This is just one example but there are lots of websites with advice how to be frugal. This one has a free meal planner -

www.frugalmum.co.uk/feed-family-less-budget-food-shopping-money-saving-tips/

We do, pretty much. DS is autistic and DH just earns enough to cover his costs through turning his hobby into something of a job and doesn't contribute to the household.

We get DLA for DS (£410/mth), which covers petrol to get him to school and back as he's not ready for LA provided taxis, the swimming routine as it's the only way he'll wash or change his clothes and a few other things.

Everything else is from my wages which are about £1670 a month, we don't have mortgage/rent and I WFH so no travel costs.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'll be made redundant next year and I don't know how we're going to manage as everything is organised around DS needs, and I don't know where I'd get another job with the same or more money, WFH and with the level of flexibility I currently have - my employers have been fantastic, but I've been here 20 years, from long before DS was born.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair Sorry you are having the same worry. We have 2 DC with complex needs and finding flexible employment to the level I need and a pay I need seems to be next to impossible. I know I ultimately need to find another job. It's just so hard with children with very complex care needs in the absence of the right support. Having teens who eat so much doesn't help. Good luck, hope you find something.

You haven’t given a breakdown of what your income and outgoings are, so no one can actually say whether it’s manageable or not for you but £1700 should be plenty

Thank you!

It's so difficult when your life is so finely balanced - it feels like our lives are a house of cards and the slightest breeze could destroy everything! I am worried about how DS will cope with me changing jobs, he was very distressed when I might have been TUPE'd to a different organisation a few years ago and couldn't cope with that. We've only just managed to get him attending school regularly and I'm so worried this will put us back.

And I hear you on the food, DS isn't quite a teen, but he's starting to eat like one. He's spending £7 a day on food in school. But he's trying new foods after years of living on carbs, cheese and ham, so I desperately don't want to discourage him when he's willingly eating things like Katsu Curry - I thought he'd never eat anything in sauce! If he'd just eat some vegetables...

I wish there was more support out there! Fingers crossed for both of us.

You really need to itemise your bills and create a budget, it's not possible to say if it's enough without this.

Regular outgoings:

238 council tax (3 bed terraced - just an expensive council tax area, not a posh home)
220 gas/electric
25 broadband/landline
40 water
8 life insurance
70 petrol
50 car insurance
50 money for DC's school (contribution to travel, buying food ingredients for cooking lessons etc)
700 supermarket (includes food - teens who eat a lot plus restricted ASD food habits, cleaning products, toiletries).
50 hobby Dc2
150 Activities with PA we need to fund plus two clubs/hobbies (DC1 is a busy bee)
32 mobile phones (£8 each with Giffgaff).
25 home insurance
13 netflix
40 hospital parking (no BB)
that is 1679 alone

Typically, we spend money on top of that for days out, xmas, birthdays. Car is 17 years old and regular repairs, MOT always comes with some extra pound. DC's mobile phone broke and needed replacing.

Just needed to change car tyres, that was 200. Then money for things that need fixing in the house, school trips, clothes (even though we are frugal).

We really need to cut cost from the regular outgoings but not sure where. I can cancel Netflix but that is the only entertainment and wouldn't save much. Supermarket is a lot but I don't know how to bring that down with 2 teens who eat loads and only restricted foods. We probably have the heating on too much and can certainly save some money there. And hobbies and trips with the PA are nonessential. if we cut all of these, that would free up 200. hmm

forgot about £30 for cat food per month. Old cat who is very fussy...

Yes, we do. It's tight sometimes but not always. You can make it work

Are you on the right council tax banding? Mine is one band lower than the house is rated at due to my child's disability.

Yes, house worth about £230. We appealed but didn't get anywhere. all my neighbours are in the same band (D). There are no discounts in my LA for disability alone. Just the single adult discount

Do you have 2 teens with complex disabilities? It just makes everything so much more £££ I find. Any practical advice (e.g. how to bring the food bill down) is much appreciated.

Oh, and we have to pay 600 per annum as a contribution to DC'1 school taxi. That is another £50 per month. It's not something I can reduce .

I'm so sorry, you sound really stressed and it sounds like it's been an awful time.

But if both of you are getting fired simultaneously is there a version of reality where 'one' of you takes redundancy or resigns and one of you stays employed? Appreciate it's a 24 hour job with your children but if one of you is on point at home and the other one can focus on the kids would that help either of you at work? Seems a lot to go from two working people straight to 0 working people.

Otherwise I think you need a spreadsheet or list with everything. We keep super clear records of our spending so can see it all laid out. Roughly though I'd think it's doable but tight but I don't know what your bills look like - phone, Netflix, special foods etc. No one can really answer this for you as only you know what options you have.

No I don't, i have one toddler so admittedly food bills aren't that high. I imagine you would need to plan, utilise supermarket offers and buy in bulk. It won't be easy but I do think it's doable

Think about applying for a blue badge.

It is worth checking your LA’s post 16 transport policy is lawful. Many aren’t. SENTAS can help if you need advice.

Once DC1 is 18 you can look at your council tax. Some carers can be disregarded meaning you can be eligible for 25% or 50% discount depending on who else is in the household. One of the types of carers not eligible are parent carers caring for their child under 18, so you will need to wait until DC1 is 18. This is separate from the band reduction for households who need an extra bathroom, kitchen or other room that you need for a disabled person &/or extra space inside the property for using a wheelchair.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair have you requested mileage for taking DS to school?

OP, how much do you have in savings as that could tide you over for a bit?

DC has severe learning difficulties and is on high rate pip but refused BB. even on appeal.

But if both of you are getting fired simultaneously is there a version of reality where 'one' of you takes redundancy or resigns and one of you stays employed?

we will lose both our jobs. And will need to find something. I know that. but we are in our 50, jobs need to be flexible (due to DC's needs, one parent at home doesn't cut it as they both have high care needs and we often have to be at 2 places at the same time). Even if DH went back full time, I still would have to be home for Dc1 for example and be at the hospital with Dc2 at the same time. The issue are the competing care needs which cannot be met by one aren't in a Sahp role. We just need really flexible jobs and I am under no dissolution that these are hard to find and it may take a long time. plus we are both burned out. But ultimately this is the aim

We get a taxi for Dc1. I drive DC2 but didn't know I could ask for mileage. never been mentioned. I will check it out.

The LA should be paying you mileage at 45p a mile while your DS in unable to get in a taxi, for two round trips a day

about 20k. but I don't want to burn through it. car is in its last leg and will need replacing at some point maybe I am irrationally anxious. I always saved forward and never was in a situation like that. I may sound crazy to some people with this level of savings and income. I am just really worried.

The mileage offered depends on the LA. It isn’t the same everywhere.

How recently did you apply and appeal for a blue badge? If it was a while ago, it is worth reapplying and asking DS’s social worker for support.

fairly recently. and hospital appointments are for the other DC without a high rate mobility component so would help with hospital parking in any way.