To TTC given the circumstances?

[GeraldineGrang3r]

I feel this is definitely a heart over logic matter and I'm really struggling. There are a multitude of reasons logically why we should wait to TTC. We're getting married at the start of May, we have our honeymoon straight after the wedding (European break for a few days) and I've recently started a new job in a different NHS hospital (but would still quality for full mat pay due to continuous service). Logically we should wait until at least the start of May next year.

However, my Dad had a heart attack at the end of last month and I'm really struggling with the fragility of life. He's stable at the moment but does have a diagnosis of heart disease and it's really made me think about how we've no idea how long we've got with people and it makes me want to just crack on with TTC. Neither of our parents are getting any younger, we're not getting any younger either (both mid 30s). DP is pretty open to trying whenever so he'd be happy trying sooner if I wanted to.

Would we BU to start trying before our wedding?

It is a risk to delay at your age.

Have you ever been pregnant? If not you have no idea if you or your partner may have fertility problems, or need to get on an IVF waiting list.

To try and answer some of the questions. One I forgot to answer earlier sorry was in relation to how many kids we want. I'm not 100% sure, were torn between one and two so obviously that's a factor with timings too. I'm already on vitamin D and folic acid as my vit D was slightly below normal and thought I may as well just take the combined vit D and folic acid tablet so have been taking that for about 3 months.

I've never been pregnant before so no idea how things are fertility wise. My periods are mostly regular but also super super light and tbh I've no idea if being really light is a big problem or not. I saw GP months ago about it who tested some of my hormones but not all and said the only issue was vitamin D, but nothing has changed since I started the supplements and they understandably won't check anything else unless we've been TTC for a year.

I was sick constantly during the first trimester and a bit beyond. Felt so tired and nauseated. I would not have been up to getting married

Don’t wait. It’ll be a happy wedding if you are pregnant. Maybe try to build in some flexibility to your plans for the day so you could make it “lighter” if you need.

Good luck @GeraldineGrang3r with whatever you decide. Please update the thread one day, hopefully with good news!

I would wait until after the wedding🙂

If it had been me I wouldn't have waited but that said I am ND, and live very much in the here and now.

We started trying before our wedding but, honestly, I’m glad it didn’t happen until afterwards. I was lucky and didn’t get morning sickness but holyyyy, I was exhausted and, in hindsight, would have struggled to have enjoyed our wedding and honeymoon as much as I did not being pregnant. I was barely conscious during that first trimester 😂

That being said, loads of people get married pregnant and have a wonderful time! And I do really understand where you’re coming from with your dad - I’m really sorry about his health struggles.

Maybe you could do a happy medium? Don’t try, but don’t prevent prior to the wedding, then really go for it afterwards if it hasn’t already happened for you. Whether pregnant or not, you will have an amazing time and I wish you a massive congratulations in advance.

I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds so hard 💐