When is it polite to leave??

[WeddingPedding]

I'm attending a wedding, I really don't want to go.

Ceremony starts at 2.30pm
Speeches & food 6pm
"Games" and music 8pm
Special fun hour 12pm-1am

It's been expressed bride wants everyone to stay until 1am

When can I leave while being polite? Do I have to stay until 1am?

I’m happy to do the 10-1 shift as long as there will be more food. Those who reckon nothing good happens after midnight obviously don’t stay out after midnight.

I know a couple who had bowling after midnight.
And more food… Less than ten people lasted…

I also don’t understand getting married at 2.30pm
The “getting ready” takes up half the wedding day.

Get up. Get married. Have a celebration. Go home!

Leave at 8:00, but let them know. They haven’t bought you and you can wish them well. Games 😳

As an Irish person I’m astonished at how early English weddings finish. 2am would be the earliest acceptable time to leave a wedding here. I have to admit as a non drinker I’d prefer the English way.

With a timetable like that I would have politely sent my regrets. What do they expect the guests to do between the end of the ceremony and the wedding breakfast?

I like weddings, but if you won't know anyone else there and are driving I think declining the invitation would have been the best option. @WeddingPedding Is it too late to cancel going now?

I'd be off after the meal, so about 8pm. At every wedding I've been to people have started to drift off by then, if not earlier if they had young children. We left our own wedding at 11! Unless you're part of the wedding party or a close family member, they'll be so engrossed in the whirlwind of the day that they won't even notice.

That said, I was a little annoyed that my grandparents and Auntie's family left ours about 4pm (after the meal). They'd decided to make it a day trip rather than stay over night so had a 4 hour drive back home. Their choice, but they could have let me know in advance so I didn't waste money paying for their evening food!

I was thinking the same about Scottish ones 😂

Noone leaves before the last dance unless they absolutely have to & then everyone staying overnight at the hotel ajourns to the residents bar

Last wedding I was at the bride & groom were still in all their finery in the bar at 0330

I’d say 11-12pm would be respectable.

DH and I were the first to leave our wedding at about 10.30pm. Pissed and tired 😅 Apparently everyone else had a whale of a time, and my cousin regaled everyone with a rendition of Sunshine on Leith as the last dance 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

i’m surprised by folk saying they’d leave early , most weddings i’ve been to are on till 12 or 1am

This is all I was thinking as I read this post. 1 am, sure that's only the start of the night!

If you really don't want to go to the wedding just decline the invitation.
Most people can't afford to invite all their friends and family to their wedding. They could then invite someone on their reserve list who would appreciate the invitation and have fun.

Is Covid still a thing in your area? you have suddenly tested positive and are really ill, nick someone's positive test photo online (there's hundreds) send it her the day before the wedding, job done, feet up, wine, and Netflix! Joking apart why are you putting yourself through it! Although a cardboard cut out sounds equally as good as a fake Covid test...

I'm not. After a 2.30 start I would be "done" with socialising and making merry by 10.30.

Strategic flu/covid.

Or emergency call right after the ceremony. I had to attend a wedding like this and left at 9 (when it became apparent I was the only guest under sixty who wasn’t coked up)

The bride went on and on about it, to the point she’s now an ex friend.

I'm not old enough to know how this will translate when my daughter is an adult, but I expect I would also be described as a recluse. I wouldn't say it makes me 'happy', but it is better than the alternative.

DH and I left our own wedding at about 11pm. We didn't want our guests to feel like they had to hang around.

OP, I would stay until about 10pm personally.

Oh god, I hate long drawn out weddings. Much prefer when the guests don't have to wait an age between ceremony and the food because of endless staged photos. Better slip a cereal bar or two in your bag to ward off starvation. Surely no one is awake and/or sober enough by midnight for the complexities of enforced fun? I normally slope off around 11, can't handle late nights any more.

I'd slip away after the meal and speeches, once everyone's got up from the tables and started dancing/mingling. No one is likely to notice. Just make it look like you're going to the bathroom and... don't return. If anyone asks afterwards, be vague and say you left a bit earlier than you'd expected to because you felt unwell.

My own mother retired to bed at 8.30pm on my wedding day. And she is full of beans and loves a party.

I went to plenty weddings as a single person, but with friends. Enjoyed some more than others

Only went to one where I knew no-one. Kind of bride and groom to invite me (I introduced them) but I was on a random table of strangers. None if us knew each other. It was really hard. I slipped away when dancing started

A migraine coming on during the wedding is a good excuse to quietly duck out of the enforced jollity but still see if the remainder of the wedding is ok, but can very easily get worse and require legging it without offence

If it’s a big wedding I think you can slope off anytime after the main events (definitely meal - or 1st dance or whatever the latest “thing” is). But I think 10pm is definitely acceptable.

And do a French goodbye i.e. just leave without any drawn out goodbyes (to anyone!) Seriously the bride and groom will not notice and neither will anyone else.

But if small intimate wedding of 20 people - dunno! If they are good friends and your presence is not integral to the events (like a murder mystery or something!) then I think it is ok to be honest on the day and say “it’s been lovely, very tired/drunk, need my bed, byeeeee!”

I'd leave 8.30 so I could say I was at the evebing do.

But honestly I'd prefer if you could decline the evening party (which is never an option offered on a full day invite).

The long gap until dinner would drive me mad with boredom. Okay if there with family and can catch up, hell as a single person. Maybe go back to car and watch YouTube?

You can slip away after the first dance or about 8.00 when they move into the next stage of the programme. Don’t say goodbye but send them a note thanking them on the following day. We told the bride’s parents we were leaving as the dancing started and they told us they were going too!

You can really, safely leave any time after the tables are cleared from dinner and dancing starts, I think.. It would be noticeable if you left before then, when the lights are up and you can see everyone at their tables. Once the dancing starts, often tables get moved -people move away from their tables to dance floor and it would not be noticed. Unless you are a key player in the event.

I think 10.5 hour weddings are unreasonable, if people don't want to be held hostage for that length of time then it's perfectly fine to leave. I would say leaving from 8:30pm onwards is fine, six hours is more than enough time to celebrate a wedding.