I’m calling it on the food

[Renamed]

As perfectly normal food items such as chicken sandwiches and semi skimmed milk have been declared left wing, I am hereby making the divide

Left wing food = Food, including
bread
butter
cheese
milk
tea
coffee
WINE
all vegetables, grains and pulses and their products
all cooking oils
fungi
fruit
salads (obviously)
pasta, rice, cous cous etc
nearly all the meat
nearly alll the booze.
and fish

Right wing Food:
Foie gras
600 year old whisky
Human growth hormones
the skin of a newly born badger
the last coelacanth
laboratory grown crisps obtained by entering a life long contract with Elon Musk
and they can have parsnips

I'm going to say curry is centrist, unless it's chicken tikka masala which is right wing.

So how does this work…… these German breads would surely be considered artisanal in Britain - but in Germany they’d just be normal bread…?!

Snacking on some peanuts with your beer or to defy a request not to eat nuts because of an allergy sufferer are the exceptions.

But what about champagne socialists??

Tinned salmon is deffo right wing though.

Taste aside, salmon's actually at an interesting (if you like that sort of thing) intersection of available fresh, not too disruptive of the environment, semi-durable (you can spot it at a "use today!" discount and take it home and still keep it in the 'fridge for one or two days, plus it freezes beautifully) and really healthful. Pretty egalitarian food, IMO.

It's interesting to see how a lot of fish and seafood has switched political-social-economic "sides" over time; just for example oysters used to be a working class staple, before they were overly farmed and manufactured scarcity made them seem "exclusive".

Daily Mail and Nigel Farage

The right wing can have celery and bananas.

Not bananas!

Hmm...

Drinking Black Velvet is a problem then.

Although it's one of the silliest drinks known to womankind.

You can have mine. Please do. Also the Jerusalem artichokes.

'appear'? 'a bit'?

coughing fit

How do we categorize Ozempic?

Foreign. Brown looking. Definitely left-wing in the uk

I was going to say an equal opportunity. Centrist. But I think it's left-wing

Turnip = Right wing
Celeriac = Left-wing

Surely fox burgers should be added to right wing.
English breakfast while abroad is also right wing.

It’s foreign so can’t be right.

Regulation scotch egg and a pint = right wing

Unless it’s an artisan scotch egg and a pint of craft ale then it’s woke.

What about 🍿?

Definitely giving an Angela Merkel vibe

And sushi?

Are you unwell?

Breast milk is the epitome of right wing, unpasteurised. But only if the mother was born in the country she is feeding the child. Formula is too left wing, fish oils, ingredients that have to be imported, too much foreign muck.

My toddler is a boomer as they love a cheddar sandwich. They also love a cottage pie. And mussels, oysters (oh god definitely a boomer right winger).