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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my friend is crazy to consider this?

88 replies

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:22

Hello. My friend is in a bit of a rut with life. I’ll not go into too much details but she’s struggling to get back into work after losing her job last year. She’s on benefits but isn’t getting what she’s entitled to due to her DH wages. She’s just fed up and it’s put her in a bad place. I feel for her I really do. She told me she’s considering OnlyFans to help pay for an all out Christmas and for more spending money on her and DH’s holiday this month. I told her this could be dangerous and it’s also a very saturated market but she’s having none of it and says there’s not much she can do as she doesn’t want a boring Christmas and holiday after what she had to put up with the last few years. She’s also going off the rails a bit in terms with her boundaries with other people,

please suggest ways to tell her this isn’t a good idea and other ways to help her. Thanks in advance

OP posts:
ThianWinter · 04/12/2024 16:44

Unless she's prepared to provide niche content online, she won't make any money from OF.
Are you sure you're a concerned friend and this isn't about you?

HardenYourHeart · 04/12/2024 17:40

JLou08 · 03/12/2024 18:50

Why is it crazy? Plenty of people happily earning a living from it. It's not something I would do but I wouldn't tell another adult that they shouldn't.

No they are not. Earnings for the average Only Fans "content creator" are a few hundred a month tops. And I would absolutely tell my friends they shouldn't because it is a dead end job that also shuts the door to other career possibilities.

It may be horribly unfair, but that's the world we live in.

Londoneye20 · 04/12/2024 17:47

JLou08 · 03/12/2024 18:50

Why is it crazy? Plenty of people happily earning a living from it. It's not something I would do but I wouldn't tell another adult that they shouldn't.

You might give someone friendly advice if you care about them tho presumably or maybe not?

ZaraV · 04/12/2024 22:40

Yes I see what you mean. It’s not just only fans I’m worried about, it’s the potential affair she could have with this man

OP posts:
Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 04/12/2024 22:49

If shes living with her dh and he is earning then obviously whatever benefits she gets WILL be reduced. Therefore she IS getting what she is entitled to.

Also I hate the notion that Christmas (or any other event) is fun if a pile of money is spent on it. Fun doesnt need to cost anything much at all.

Jumell · 05/12/2024 06:49

Maybe she’d have better luck not on ‘Only Fans’ but ‘Ovids’ like Lauren from Corrie?

’Ovids’ sounds more of an ‘untapped goldmine’ than the much used Only Fans!!

on a serious note, OP I understand your legitimate concerns. This is not something I’d do in an ideal situation. However. honestly ? I’d let your friend choose her own path

The worst that can happen here is that your friend will have a bad experience but will learn from it, bounce back even stronger and eventually appreciate life more.

Will your friend worry about this in 5/10 years time? Nah. Guaranteed she’ll be in a better place

Murfmeister · 05/12/2024 07:00

I'm pretty sure that her job prospects won't improve when prospective employers do an online search and find her flashing her minge around...

ZaraV · 05/12/2024 12:11

Murfmeister · 05/12/2024 07:00

I'm pretty sure that her job prospects won't improve when prospective employers do an online search and find her flashing her minge around...

Can they actually do that if she uses a fake name and edits herself? I’m assuming yes but it’ll be harder for them.

OP posts:
ZaraV · 05/12/2024 13:58

Bump

OP posts:
MildredSauce · 05/12/2024 15:21

ZaraV · 05/12/2024 13:58

Bump

Why bump this @ZaraV - it feels like the topic has talked itself out and it now feels you've moved from "concerned" friend to gossipy and over-invested "friend".

MermaidEyes · 05/12/2024 17:06

ZaraV · 05/12/2024 13:58

Bump

There's 80 odd comments, I don't think you're going to get any different advice.

GoldsolesLugs · 05/12/2024 19:09

ZaraV · 05/12/2024 12:11

Can they actually do that if she uses a fake name and edits herself? I’m assuming yes but it’ll be harder for them.

Probably not from a google search, but these things have a habit of turning up - she should anticipate future colleagues getting hold of them. Usually via someone who knows someone.

Oreyt · 05/12/2024 19:17

Same here. I couldn't claim a thing due to dh working. If your friend was entitled she would be getting it.

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