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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not send Christmas cards this year?

105 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 03/12/2024 16:02

I usually do, but with the cost of stamps and also the feeling of expectation (I don't want others to feel they need to send one back) I am re-considering this year

Anyone else, or do you still send cards?

OP posts:
boulevardofbrokendreamss · 03/12/2024 16:03

I haven't sent cards for years apart from two remaining elderly relatives who live abroad.

Doggymummar · 03/12/2024 16:04

No, I stopped at least a decade ago ( once I didn't work in an office you could slip them in the franking machine pile)

Orangesandlemons77 · 03/12/2024 16:05

I'm unsure whether to just stop or send a message explaining (a bit weird maybe)

OP posts:
GoofyGoldie · 03/12/2024 16:05

I haven't sent them for a few years. I have a few friends from my uni days who are not on SM so I send cards to them with a Round Robin in. Then I'll send a few to older relatives who still send to us, again ones who don't use SM. I bought 8 2nd class stamps today, & hopefully I won't need more.

I used to send about 80. But there's no way I could afford all the stamps these days.

LimeYellow · 03/12/2024 16:07

I still send them but I have cut right down on the number I send.

DancingFerret · 03/12/2024 16:10

Nope. I donate the money I used to spend on stamps to charity, and add to that the price of the cards I used to buy from the charity's shop.

Charity 1 - Post Office 0.

Fluffy40 · 03/12/2024 16:10

Used to send about 80, but this year will do less than half , I still like receiving cards but I’m old!

TrippTover · 03/12/2024 16:14

I just gave my mum some to give to:

90+ year old grandparents
Aunt
Friend’s parents
Friend (who lives with said parents)

Only because 1) I saw my mum in person and 2) she’ll see all those people in person and hand cards over.

I haven’t sent to anyone in ages and wouldn’t miss never receiving a Christmas card. It’s the waste and postage really. Even if recyclable, it’s a waste of energy and resources.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/12/2024 16:16

Why not send a few and alternate every year? Pick 10 and write a list with your Christmas decorations so you'll have it next year? People won't care if you miss a year but they will notice if you stop.

I have some old friends on Christmas card terms that I enjoyed hearing from, there was usually a little message about life etc and most have decided to stop recently, which basically means they have decided to cut contact. It pisses me off to be honest. Once dear friends and they couldn't spend the cost of a stamp once a year. Fair enough if they messaged instead but no. One or two I don't have numbers for anymore and no other contact details.

KarmenPQZ · 03/12/2024 16:23

I get less and less every year to the point last year I get a bit upset and also decided not to send - I also do personalised photo cards so extra cost and also lots of extra effort on my part. However by 19th December I barely had any cards and decided that my response was making the problem worse so I bit the bullet and did ‘new years’ card given there was no chance them arriving in time for Christmas. I had a few comments from people saying they were relieved to get a card as they’d missed seeing it before Christmas.

This year I’ve done my photo and ordered the cards… with much stress and anger at the editor 😬. I will pay the small fortune for stamps and send them because I genuinely think they do bring joy (not just over egging my half arsed attempt but anyone that puts in a bit of effort). I’ve got to think that’s worth something. The photo cards probably cost £40 and the stamps maybe the same and I’m not sure it’s adding £80 of joy to the world but I can afford it so will spend it and hope I get some cards in return. If the cards/stamps cost £20 instead of £80 I wouldn’t want to make a decisions on friendships over the cost of £60 a year… it’s a drop in the ocean.

AuntieMarys · 03/12/2024 16:24

Haven't sent them for years and luckily don't receive any now.

RhaenysRocks · 03/12/2024 16:26

I do. I have an extended family of about 12 and friends all over who I rarely see. I enjoy the process and buy 2nd class stamps. I like getting them and am sad it's declining

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/12/2024 16:31

I'm going to cut right down to people I want to send to, and anyone I'm less fussed about who actually sends me a card this year. I'm in the age group where cards are basically saying "are you still alive?". But I do enjoy hearing from people and getting an update on their year.

hagchic · 03/12/2024 16:32

Stopped years ago but people just keep sending them.

IggyAce · 03/12/2024 16:36

I’ve seriously cut back I’ve mailed 3 and written out around another dozen to give to family and close friends who I’ll see in person before Christmas.
Id prefer to make a donation to charity instead of paying out postage.

Didimum · 03/12/2024 16:37

I've never sent Xmas card. I think they're incredibly wasteful.

Horatiostrumpet · 03/12/2024 16:37

I've got two to post and will hand deliver a couple of others. We only send to a handful of people now.

LlynTegid · 03/12/2024 17:15

If you stop, send a message and make a donation to charity. I only send a limited number, to older family and a few people I have known for many years.

ForegoneConfusion · 03/12/2024 17:23

My list kept dwindling, until about 4 years ago when (apart from a couple of elderly relatives) I stopped sending them altogether.

Tink3rbell30 · 03/12/2024 17:25

It's nice to send cards especially to people who appreciate them. People waste money on all sorts, so cards are definitely doable.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 03/12/2024 17:29

It's up to you. I don't think most people will care. I never understand this thing that people have though, about announcing it on social media that they're not sending Christmas cards this year, and then claiming that they're actually going to give money to charity instead. So cheesy and naff! 😬

Nobody cares if you give to charity or not, and I think most people aren't even going to believe that you will.

Even a few people on here are saying 'why don't you give to charity instead?' or 'I'm going to give to charity!' Why? Confused What's this obsession with giving to charity instead of giving Christmas cards? I find it so bizarre. 😂

Arrwedancers · 03/12/2024 17:30

Never posted any and haven't given any for years, they're a waste of money/time/effort/resources

Bignanna · 03/12/2024 17:31

I send them second class, they’re the same price as last year. The cost is approximately £20. I don’t resent paying that

BMW6 · 03/12/2024 17:36

I've stopped a couple of years ago. The whole thing only started in Victorian times as a money spinner and it struck me as stupid to be felling all these trees to make the card when they're thrown in the recycling (if not glittery) a few days after Christmas !

I think in 20 years there will be hardly any sent.

Ragwort · 03/12/2024 17:45

I love sending and receiving cards but I expect I fall into the 'older relative' category as I am in my mid 60s. I enjoy the process of choosing cards, writing a short message and the opportunity to keep in touch with friends .. I don't do social media apart from Mumsnet.
I volunteer in a charity shop and we still sell lots of cards.
Yes I agree it's not 'cheap' but if you have the budget for discretionary spending I would far rather buy cards and stamps than spend £££s at the Hair Salon or buy a new outfit... but that's my choice. I don't think any less of someone if they don't send me a card.

And yes, I give money (& time) to charity Grin*

  • why have these emojis fallen out of fashion on Mumsnet - they used to be so popular ... like Christmas cards I suppose!