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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send Christmas cards this year?

105 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 03/12/2024 16:02

I usually do, but with the cost of stamps and also the feeling of expectation (I don't want others to feel they need to send one back) I am re-considering this year

Anyone else, or do you still send cards?

OP posts:
RedRiverShore5 · 03/12/2024 19:31

Do people still send birthday cards, I'm less likely to send them than Christmas cards

Cornishphoenix · 03/12/2024 19:32

It might be a bit early for some people receiving Christmas texts! 🧑‍🎄

Original poster
Orangesandlemons77 · 03/12/2024 19:33

Cornishphoenix · 03/12/2024 19:32

It might be a bit early for some people receiving Christmas texts! 🧑‍🎄

I know, I am trying to pre-empt it. I did have a card come today though.

OP posts:
Ilovemyshed · 03/12/2024 19:44

I send a few to older rellies and just send an emessage to the reat

JumpstartMondays · 03/12/2024 20:08

GranPepper · 03/12/2024 19:28

I used to do that (recycle into gift tags). I even used late gran's pinking shears to cut them up. I don't have the energy to do it any more sadly but I don't feel guilty about stopping Christmas cards in recent years

Show quote history

It was always my mum's pinking shears!

crostini · 03/12/2024 20:19

I just give them to people I see in real life, neighbours, local friends, kids teachers and club leaders etc. mainly because the children want to.

GranPepper · 03/12/2024 20:22

Orangesandlemons77 · 03/12/2024 19:30

I will also stop with Dh's family this year. It is too much. We also have this present giving thing with some of his family where they travel to swap gifts (usually e.g. packets of biscuits) which seems more difficult to get out off. It's also right before Christmas itself and needs preparing for which is a pain but Dh can do that if he wants to

Am perimenopausal and really can't be arsed with it all this year.

I wouldn't be travelling to swap biscuits. I would have felt guilty not to a few years ago and would have done it. After dealing with my father's dementia which made me ill, I wouldn't and I wonder why I put everybody else's feelings before mine and my immediate family's. Do what feels right for you and your family

CheshireCat1 · 03/12/2024 20:24

I give a donation to our local hospice instead.

WalterdelaMare · 03/12/2024 20:25

I reckon we stopped sending cards about 8 years ago. The number we receive has dwindled to about 5! Used to be dozens. I shove them in a drawer as I hate the mess of them.

permanently · 03/12/2024 21:15

I've kept cards from the past few years and I'll just put those up. I'll send a few to the olds.

dizzydizzydizzy · 03/12/2024 21:23

I stopped 2 or 3 years ago. I make a donation to charity instead - either my local food bank or local branch of Women's Aid.

Gingertam · 03/12/2024 21:48

Just send a handful now to old work colleagues and some relatives. Don't mind that but will never add to my list. I sent more years ago - what a chore. I also hate the charity announcements. Nobody cares!

SparklingXmas · 03/12/2024 21:53

I still send around 25ish and I’m mid 40s. I love sending them and I’m not bothered if I don’t get any back. The joy of giving 🎄❤️🎄❤️

Moonshine5 · 03/12/2024 21:57

I'm sending 50 and I'm very excited about it. Personalised (BF deal). I've done it for a few years now and everyone always comments on how they look forward to them. I usually write a little message and it's a way of ensuring we touch base and exchange communication (irl). I don't buy presents so it's not an extravagant (will be £75 everything incl).

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 03/12/2024 22:07

Gingertam · 03/12/2024 21:48

Just send a handful now to old work colleagues and some relatives. Don't mind that but will never add to my list. I sent more years ago - what a chore. I also hate the charity announcements. Nobody cares!

Exactly as I and several others have said. Why do people have to announce they are giving to charity instead of giving Christmas cards out? 🙄 Why even say anything? No-one knows if you actually have, (and no-one cares!) And as a few posters have said, it's pretty much just an excuse to get out of sending cards/giving cards. You CBA to give cards anymore. Fine. Just own it, and stop the 'I am giving to charideee' bollox!

I know several elderly people who love to receive Christmas cards, and always give them, so I do send them to those people. But I have reined it in now, and don't send many.

One thing that annoys me is when people send a Christmas card when they aren't bothered with you for the rest of the year. That is literally the ONLY contact you get. ALL YEAR! (Along with the ghastly round robin!')😬 Blathering and carping on about their 'talented and gifted little Johnny' and their amazing hubby's promotion, and how PROUD they are of their little family!' I stopped sending Christmas cards to such people eventually - and when we moved house I never gave them my new address.

Hilariously, although we moved to this property about a decade ago, we get a Christmas card every year to 'Louise, Tom and the kids.' From 'Pat and Steve.'

I don't think they can all be very close, seeing as Louise, Tom, and the kids, didn't give Pat and Steve their forwarding address TEN YEARS AGO, and Pat and Steve don't seem to be aware that they moved! 😆

cardibach · 03/12/2024 22:12

Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/12/2024 16:16

Why not send a few and alternate every year? Pick 10 and write a list with your Christmas decorations so you'll have it next year? People won't care if you miss a year but they will notice if you stop.

I have some old friends on Christmas card terms that I enjoyed hearing from, there was usually a little message about life etc and most have decided to stop recently, which basically means they have decided to cut contact. It pisses me off to be honest. Once dear friends and they couldn't spend the cost of a stamp once a year. Fair enough if they messaged instead but no. One or two I don't have numbers for anymore and no other contact details.

If the on,y contact/info you got was at Christmas, contact was effectively cut anyway. There are som many easy ways to keep in touch - if someone is only doing it in a few words in a card once a year it’s basically saying you aren’t friends.

ILoveAnnaQuay · 03/12/2024 22:13

A few years ago we realised we were spending about £150 on cards plus stamps but that our chosen charities were only getting a fraction of that. So we stopped sending them and instead donate the money directly (with Gift Aid so it's even more valuable).

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 03/12/2024 22:14

😬

Vettrianofan · 03/12/2024 22:16

I just post to neighbours near by. And close family. That's it. Haven't the inclination to post to faraway relatives due to time factor and cost of postage. Stopped several years ago.

cardibach · 03/12/2024 22:17

Cornishphoenix · 03/12/2024 19:28

I send cards to people who I know will enjoy them. I know a lot of people who live alone of varying ages from 27- 92 and the way they light up when they receive a card is lovely.

i think loneliness is becoming more common but we’re somehow reluctant to discuss it. I know people in their 20s who are lonely - it’s so sad.

so don’t write them off (see what I did there?) completely unless it’s a financial decision.

And I urge you to reconsider if you know anyone who could be suffering from loneliness at any age!

2019-2020 we didn’t send any due to expense & we told everyone why.
2021 - 2023 we sent a few
2024 we will send to those who genuinely enjoy them (because some people don’t, and that’s ok. Happy to respect that)

They ‘light up’ at a card? Really?
I’m 60 and live alone. Can’t stand the annoying flappy things to be honest. Obviously I appreciate someone thinking of me and thank them (by text) but the cards go straight in the bin. What a waste.

I haven’t sent cards for a good 15 years. I speak to people or message them. If they aren’t people I speak to or message regularly why would I be sending a card, really?

betterangels · 03/12/2024 22:18

Arrwedancers · 03/12/2024 17:30

Never posted any and haven't given any for years, they're a waste of money/time/effort/resources

This is me.

ZiggyZowie · 03/12/2024 22:19

Nope ,stopped cards and stopped all presents,

Cornishphoenix · 03/12/2024 22:19

@cardibach we’re all different 🤣

please see reference to “we will send to those who genuinely enjoy them (because some people don’t, and that’s ok. Happy to respect that)”

hope that helps!

cardibach · 03/12/2024 22:19

crostini · 03/12/2024 20:19

I just give them to people I see in real life, neighbours, local friends, kids teachers and club leaders etc. mainly because the children want to.

But surely you can say Happy Christmas to people you see regularly? Even when I sent cards I didn’t do people I see all the time.

FestiveFruitloop · 03/12/2024 22:21

livanlaterlaterlater · 03/12/2024 17:59

I only send about 10 now . I absolutely cringe when people put their decision on SM and announce they are donating to charity, just do it and not make a thing about it !

Totally agree. Blatant virtue signalling!