Catering for vegans

[PieandPotatoes]

We have friends who come and stay regularly. One is a vegan. They never bring any food with them. It takes me ages to do the food shopping (checking labels for ingredients). We spend loads on oatmilk, vegan cheese/yoghurt etc and we end up cooking two dishes at mealtimes as my husband refuses to eat anything without meat. I think that they should at least bring some vegan food with them. What do you think?

He is indeed and I'm not suggesting otherwise.

I was responding to the implication that the vegans were just making a dietary choice out of preference. They might not be, as (ethics apart) there are sound environmental reasons for being vegan. That is different to the host husband's insistence on meat for the sake of it.

Vegan cheese does taste/look like plastic though. It's one of the few 'vegan' foods that few non-vegans choose to eat.

Vegans are making a choice out of preference, and feel they have reasons for that preference.

Veganism is not a preference. Prefer means you'd rather do one thing but can equally do the other. He could eat beans on toast but prefers a sausage. A vegan cannot eat meat. Put it another way - Is the reason you don't eat your pet dog or even your dead neighbour because you "prefer" not to? Or because you see it as morally wrong (and also disgusting). That's the difference.

..anyway, just give them baked potato with beans and maybe some salad on the side, maybe some soup with nice bread. Another meal could be chilli or bolognese with rice/pasta.Again, nothing fancy needed and no substitutes required, just don't put the meat in. A tin of some sort of bean or lentil will always make a good job of replacing mince.

It's really easy.

I was going to say I think your husband is the issue here, I eat meat and dairy daily but its absurd to refuse to eat a couple of meals without meat, and make your invited guests bring their own food. There are loads of easy veg curries, pasta dishes, interesting noodle dishes (there is a viral red curry coconut noodle soup everywhere at the moment) .

But then I saw that they invite themselves, don't bring anything and they lecture you about your dietary choices. It sounds like you could probably do without their visits. Either cut down on their visits or tell them you're not up to hosting any more and they are welcome to come if they buy / sort their own food, bring towels and bedding etc

Veganism is a choice. Most vegans could safely eat meat, they just choose not to, for various reasons (health, ethical, misinformation). Clearly that's their choice. It's also ok for someone to choose to eat meat.

Of course it's a preference.
Their reasons may be environmental
Their reasons might be for animal protection
But it's still a preference
Just because there's a reason for it doesn't make it any less of a preference
Just to be clear I've no problem with vegans and happily cater for them. But it is their choice not to eat meat. Just like it's his choice to eat meat.
I have quite a few vegan friends and family members but none of them invite invite themselves to my house and then lecture me or my husband on eating meat.

Not necessarily directed at you, but why should DH have to go without meat? It is his house, he likes meat and prefers to eat it as his main meal. Yes he technically could skip the meat, but why should he? Why couldn’t the vegans eat meat ‘for a couple of meals’?
Being vegan (for the majority) is a dietary preference, not a need. If they require certain foods for their dietary preference then they should provide it, not put their expenses onto their host.

Veganism is an ethical lifestyle choice and recognised as such

@Switchingitup to help his wife? Vegan or not the friends don’t sound pleasant (no idea why they still come) but with that in mind surely he could do without meat to make his wife life easier. It’s not going ti hurt or kill him (and may actually be healthier)

Apart from genuine allergies or intolerance I struggle to believe that anyone can't cope with meat free meals for three days.

Your heavily meat and butter based diet doesn't sound very healthy.

Meat free meals don't have to be spicy or bean based.

Risotto
Baked potatoes with various fillings
Aubergine parmigiana
Spanakopita
Mushroom pie
Macaroni cheese
Pizza

Some of the above are or can be vegan. Obviously, the last four are not gluten free, but are examples of naturally vegetarian dishes without trying to be vegetarian.

It really isn't difficult to make a vegan based meal and add meat or cheese for those who want it.

I'm not began or even vegetarian, but I am open minded and am an adventurous cook. People need to think outside of the meat and two veg box.

Exactly, a choice, a preference.

Why though? How would that help his wife, who is being treated badly by the demanding vegans?

Why should he be forced to follow someone else's food preferences in his own home? Why should OP?

I suppose, both unwanted comments I’d imagine. But being lectured on the ethics of what you eat by someone you have gone to lots of trouble for, has a different timbre to ‘yuk that looks/smells disgusting’. But agree best for no one to be rude about one another’s wishes!

Choosing to eat meat doesn't mean insisting you eat meat at every single meal. That's the difference.

I'm a carnivore, and being served a vegetable curry does not infringe on my dietary choices (indeed I frequently choose meals without meat simply because they're delicious). For a vegan, being served a lamb curry would infringe on their dietary choices. For a Muslim or Jew, being served pork would infringe on their dietary choices.

It's not a hard distinction to understand.

Well neither of them have to, obviously.

But usually if you are friends and have each other to stay, you like each other a little bit and want to make your guests feel welcome and comfortable.

If you don't feel that way, it's probably better not to have them to stay at all - which would be fine.

I have a friend who is a very picky eater - the list of things she won't eat is very long and includes a lot of things which are staples for us (spice, lentils, beans). But because I actually like her, I wouldn't dream of sneering at her "that's not a need, it's just a preference" or anything. I find something we can all eat. If she stays for more than a couple of days, I suggest we eat out.

As I have said up thread, I don't think the OP should buy expensive substitutes like vegan cheese or yogurts or really anything her household wouldn't use. I don't think she needs to cook up a feast if she doesn't enjoy cooking. But it's not really that difficult to find a middle ground - e.g. if her household is a meat and potatoes one, her guests can have vegan sausages and potatoes

This argument is bullshit. Choosing not to eat meat doesn't mean you only eat vegetables at every single meal either. The argument goes both ways.

I detest beans and lentils and citrus. I don't like sloppy meals. Beans don't like me. But I will eat them if I have to. But meat and vegetables suit my diet better.

Everyone here seems rude apart from you OP.

The vegan "friends" who visit frequently and arrive empty handed and criticise you in your own home, and the DH who won't give up his beloved meat for one meal to make things easier for his DW cooking for his friends.

Do you ever go to theirs ?

FWIW I would scale the hospitality right back. Ask them to bring their own vegan cheese and milk, cook one big vegan dish like a chilli and offer that up in different guises for the duration of their stay - say that you're stressed by work and didn't have time to check the vegan ingredients for multiple meals.

Do you actually enjoy their visits? They sound a bit insufferable- stingy and rude.

Nole
Yes it's a lifestyle choice but not like choosing chips over jacket potato. It's an ethical choice not just about diet choosing to oppose harm to animals (and the environment more recently).
It's now recognised as a protected belief system similar to religious belief.

But myself and my vegan friends all know it's a restricted diet and have to make do/ go without as needed especially when not at home eg travelling as a lot of snacks / food etc have milk or egg in them.

I eat mainly vegan. It's not a big deal and I never buy the UHP vegan cheese or other gimmicks.
Lots of good ideas above about blended meals. And let them bring their own disgusting (and expensive) cheese.
The thing I'd really object to is them lecturing you. They come to your house several times a year and feel it's appropriate to tell you what to eat? Forcing their views on you is just plain rude.
Any chance of reducing the visits to once a year - or never?

Steamed vegetables dressed with olive oil and garlic, baked, boiled, mashed or roasted in olive oil potatoes. Chick peas or lentils for protein.
Add meat for the carnivores. No special, highly-processed "vegan" alternatives.

That's one dinner. You're not going to eat that every night. 😬