RELATE is going into administration

[MereDintofPandiculation]

AIBU to be worried about this? I think I'm not. Over the last years we've become used to charities taking on services that one might have been expected would be provided by the state (foodbanks, hospices for example). It's worrying when the charities begin to fail

Clearly I'm the only one worried about this.

I am and I'm not. They seem to have not taken any steps to mitigate this and instead fucked over a lot of people working for them. Charity or not, that's bad, as putting your head in the sand helps no one.

But yes, charities are finding it very tough along with everyone right now.

Yes, the last paragraph mentions that there are a lot of charities struggling at the moment.

I take your criticism of Relate. You know more about them than I do. Just a bit of a shock as they've been there as long as I can remember, although I knew it as the Marriage Guidance Council.

Charities are acting as a backstop to the state, picking up the pieces when the state can't/won't. What happens if the charities are no longer there?

Yes it's very difficult - a charity that I acted for, main source of income providing services to the NHS has just had to go into liquidation.

I worked for Relate for five years (2014-2019) at a time when there were many federated local branches. I worked for London South West, and loved it. We provided a really warm supportive local service.
Around 2019 (?) we were given the option to merge with Relate National, or stay independent. Trustees voted to merge, and then buggered off.
It became a horrible charity to work for, so I left.
I am so so sad that this has happened, but happy for the branches that remained independent.

At least the independent branches are unaffected.
Surely the means tested fees must only apply to London?

They are very expensive, same price as a private counsellor. I don't really know why it should matter if they go?

Also one of their counsellors gave me very bad advice regarding my abusive partner at the time so I'm not a fan

Where is your evidence that they have not taken steps to mitigate their financial issues or that they have 'fucked over' their staff? Do you have anything to back that up or are you another one that loves to bash charities with no thought for the damage you are doing to the service and the people who use them?

I'm not worried. Had some relate counselling once. It was shit.

If the Trustees chose to merge, they didn't 'bugger off' they left because constitutionally they were no longer required.

It’s a shame. Me and DH went to Relate many many years ago. It absolutely helped and we are still really happily married. I’m not sure we would have made it without the help from Relate. Our therapist was wonderful and I think about her every now and then and wish I could thank her.

A lot of health related charities are largely funded by NHS contracts. As belts tighten and those contracts dry up the obvious consequence is closures. We’ve just had a significant local charity go into liquidation in my ICS and I expect more will follow once the increased NMW and NIC kick in.

Charities used to be funded by donations and contributions but more and more they have become largely reliant on government funding. Palliative care is largely delivered by charities - eg Marie Curie, McMillan, Hospices amongst others. It's an easy way to reduce costs - the services are delivered on lower salaries and lesser conditions than on council contracts.

It's not sustainable. These organisations are an easy target when budgets are under strain. They often have poor governance, weak management, exploitative working conditions and only plan for the short term and next funding round.

My own experience of marriage guidance/relate was shit but if it saved some relationships and families breaking up, and the trail of destruction than normally results from that, it is making an impact on society and possibly saving on more expensive services (NHS, DWP, Education) further down the line.

@MereDintofPandiculation

Hospices have always been charities and food banks never existed ... I agree about delivering council contracts though

Same. Absolutely awful. Made her dislike of me clear because she didn't agree with my decisions. Never went back.

@Ablondiebutagoody @DinosaurMunch and @TheFormidableMrsC
I too had a dreadful time at Relate.
Our (male) counsellor plainly couldn’t see through my exes coercive behaviour. I had to go back to my individual counsellor by week 3.

I used to work with victims/survivors and then perpetrators of domestic abuse, I don't have good experiences of relate. Couples counselling shouldn't be offered in those circumstances and some of the advice was frankly dangerous.

Me neither. I don't think their counsellors understood a thing about abusive relationships.

I went to relate . The advisor was sexist. It was an awful experience. He laughed in my face, when I said no sex for 6 months was an issue for me. He proudly told me.. "Lots of my clients have not had sex for decades!"

He was quite happy for my OH to sit there and not say anything, and then twist everything I said. I went twice and refused to go again.

This is a bit of a shock. I remember them as Marriage Guidance too as my parents went to it (briefly). They've always been one of those "big" charities that will feel like they will be around forever, like BHF, RSPCA, RSPCB, Cancer Research etc.

I am not too worried about Relate collapsing. I am much more concerned at the small local charities that are collapsing, Many provide vital support for vulnerable people.

Could never really see the point of it. Tend to think that once a relationship is over, it’s over 🤷‍♀️

Charities are acting as a backstop to the state, picking up the pieces when the state can't/won't. What happens if the charities are no longer there?

It's not immediately obvious to me why relationship counselling should be the state's responsibility.

Charities are acting as a backstop to the state, picking up the pieces when the state can't/won't. What happens if the charities are no longer there?

What on earth have personal relationships got to do with the state?

I always knew of them as marriage guidance too @MereDintofPandiculation

are they providing other things now? I'm puzzled what the worry is. There's lots of these services available and they should be profitable- if they aren't then I guess the need isn't there. But it doesn't seem like it should have any connection to the state.