To ask how old your kids were when you stopped putting reins on them?

[Yourdevelopment]

Assuming no special needs etc.

I didn’t use reins but I had a buggy board on the pushchair for my older ones and if they ran off they had to go on it. When my youngest outgrew the pushchair, I just held her hand.

I live in.London with 4 kids but mine weren't runners though thankfully

Mine was and she did actually run across a road. She always wore reins after that. Some kids just do not listen and be compliant.

Mine can be. Not always but occasionally and it feels like the safest way for me.

He loves them too which helps!

Mine likes to take his back pack reins and carry them himself. 😂

I think until he was about 2 and a half. For those who have never used them if you have a child that will bolt at any moment, that literally runs before they can walk they are a godsend. They keep them safe and close. They can't fall or run off. A friend of ours said I can see why you have them (she had three young children and never used them) it's like if you have a dog with no leash. Impossible to keep safe.

We lived in a country where you never see them. At first people where aghast that we would keep our child on a 'lead'. But then you could see they stayed to think it is a good idea to keep them safe.

Use them OP if you need to for as long as necessary to keep them safe. They won't be in reigns at 18. That said DS is now 19 and such a clumsy article I wish I still had the reigns 😂

Amazing.

I had a runner.

He even tried running out of schools. I had no option but to leash him. I do now have an alive (and fairly sensible 18 year old).

Edited to add obviously he hasn't had reins for a LONG time but unless you have a runner there is really no right to judge.

This youngest one I have just turned 4 and I just stopped. She’s a monster!

of the 8 I’ve raised some have needed them, some haven’t.

But OP, you do you. Don’t let anyone else persuade you how you should do it.
You know your kids best, and if you want that added reassurance then use them.

Dc1 was a runner and last time I used them was at the beginning of reception, just long enough to cross a road, so no more than a minute, but the point was made. Fortunately that was enough to never need them again and now safely an adult without too much psychological scarring! I didn’t use them routinely after about the age of 3, but if dc1 had tried to run already on a trip then they went on.

Dc2 and Dc3 never needed them. Dc2 clung to me and dc3 had two older siblings and me to hang onto.

There's lots of people on this thread who've never used reins for their children, so it's clearly not something every child needs. If you're not balancing other DC and no special needs to deal with, I'd try to get along without them as many do.

I say this because using reins all the time can create a false sense of safety when they do start to get more freedom, it may limit their ability to assess their own surroundings, their spatial awareness and development of natural risk assessment, if it's not been taught.

My DC nursery walked groups of 3yr olds along main road to the woods for forest school and they didn't use reins, just grownups at the front and back and children paired up holding hands with each other. Reins on neurotypical 3yr olds seems unnecessary, by that age they should know better than to run off because it's been reinforced since a young age.

Each to their own though.

If you never used reins, the question is not for you! You don't have to reply stating "I did not use them".

Twins - both bolters (in opposite directions).

It's not keeping children on a lead. It's keeping children who have a tendency to run safe. It's keeping children safe who have a tendency to be so energetic they think they can run and jump before they can walk. Literally. If you have a child like that you need to keep them safe.

My nephew (15 years older than DS) visited us when DS was about 2. He said I've never seen him walk yet. I said what do you mean of course he walks? He said no he doesn't walk. He runs. Everywhere. That's why we had reigns

I hate this sanctimonious we never had them. Well maybe you didn't. But you've never had a child who runs like hell everywhere. It's not bad parenting. You can't explain to a 2 year old the dangers of doing that.

Except some really do like to feel a sense of moral/ parenting superiority!

I'd rather keep a child alive.

OP keep the reins as long as needed. If you think there are issues with the child's development otherwise speak to nursery/ pre-school/ childminder.

But how else will MN know they're perfect parents?

Like a PP, I have bolting twins. 2.5 years old. I don't fancy having to pick a favourite to save. I won't be giving up the reins at any point soon.

Had to use them for my twins, never would've coped otherwise, and I stopped using them at about 2.5. Didn't need to touch them for my younger ones thankfully!

Ds has just turned 3 and goes ballistic if I put them on him now. I would still be using them otherwise. All the smug "kids are not dogs" can pee off or maybe borrow a toddler for an afternoon and see how they go!

About 4. I had twin runners, it was incredibly difficult. We also lived right next to a very busy road and didn't have a car. Not using them would have almost certainly resulted in tragedy.

Bolting twins . I couldn't have coped. Even with reigns you would need to be an octopus.

If you gave never used reins good for your and your docile child. .
.

Very well put.

I'd rather have a child who is alive and well, than a smug, superior look on my face as my child gets hit by a car.

What a stupid and ignorant thing to post @Invisimamma .

You've never read the story of the poster on here who lost her child then? She often posts on reins threads

I found the post from MrsPresley

My DS was hit by a car and died because his dad didn't put his reins on him (or his twin sister), he was in a hurry and thought for a short journey it wouldn't matter.

Well we all found out, in the worst way possible that it does matter, it only takes a minute to put them on, and it took less than a minute for my DS to end up under a car, while ExDH was distracted by DD.

Please please always use reins, no matter how short your journey, if you are near a road then put them on.

Believe me when I say you really don't want the life I have had for the past 28 years, I wouldn't wish that on anyone!

Even though I had another 3 children, there is a huge emptiness that will never be filled.

And thank you to the posters who have remembered me, hopefully on the next "reins" thread there will be some more parents who will remember me and please keep telling people how important reins can be

Oh and if anyone says it's like putting them on a lead like a dog, well, would you let your dog run about the streets without a lead

This thread shows that there are plenty of girls that are runners, it's more related to a child's personality than their sex. Like a lot of things.

DD was on reins until she was three. She was definitely old enough to understand the basics of road safety and had never been a bolter. But she seldom let me hold the reins - she carried the strap herself in one hand whilst holding my hand with the other. Odd, but it worked for us!

DS was hysterical on reins but loved holding my hand so we pretty much didn't bother with him. I used the threat of them to make him stay safe though.

My little brother was in them until he was at least five though. He had a bad habit of bolting in shopping centres on busy Saturdays.

I'm so incredibly sorry to read this, what a tragedy.

I did say I'm my follow-up post that if they didn't have other children then think about whether they needed to use reins, obviously with more than one young child it's not as easy to keep hold of them all the time.

My DC were 3 years apart so I didn't have that to contend with, ds1 was 4yrs old and starting school by the time ds2 was walking. I can see in that situation reins have their place but that's not what the op asked about.