Apparently I'm beautiful NOW

[BlueSilverCats]

I have very slowly been losing weight. Mum has been making comments but I mostly downplayed it, not looking for compliments or mentioning it or anything.

Today she told me I'm actually beautiful now. Jeese... thanks mum. Only took 30 something years.

Every time she moaned at me for being fat it was always followed by "of course it's mainly about health". No , it's not. At least not to her.

I'm so sorry to read your post it made me feel very sad for you.
I could feel your hurt I think what she said was dreadful and what she seems to have been saying to you for most of your life.
I don't believe that about boomers being obsessed with weight and equating it with worth.
This is a trait of your mother's and it's very nasty. I can see that behind it all, maybe she didn't want you to know that she's worried about your health.
But for her to say those things to you about looking beautiful now etc is very telling about her, and I'm so sorry for the deep hurt you must be feeling.

Well you haven't explained it well to me cos I still don't get it. You want OP to be angry at her mother cos her mother said something nice to her?

Her mother obviously thinks she looks better having lost weight. How on earth can someone find that offensive. This is bonkers.

ToothHurtyAppointment · Today 21:18

Oh of course, it’s only ever the women’s and girl’s bodies. You know, because men are hard workers and strapping young lads.

My in laws are just the same as Lynne and my parents too. When I first got pregnant, my MIL said to me at my birthday dinner, in front of about 25 people; “you’re putting on weight”. “Erm, yes….im pregnant, remember”. She had the audacity to eye roll! Haha. She thought it’d knock me down a peg or two I think.

That's actually awful. I think it was you that mentioned further back in the thread that your Grandad had a go at you for still being overweight very soon after having a baby....?

I was about 10 stone before I had my 2 DD (around a year apart.) So, fairly slim size 12 to 14 - and I went up to 14 stone after the first one. Although I was 13 stone a week after I had her!

One of my husband's work colleagues, (about 10 years older than me) saw me 2 weeks after the birth and said 'haven't lost that baby weight yet then?! My daughter was 15 days old! Just absolutely fucking disgusting, really!

Even my husband said, 'for fuck's sake, she's only just had baby.'

I dropped to 11 stone within a few months. and then got pregnant again, and went to 14 and a half stone.

I was 12 stone still when DD2 was 6 months old, and around 5 people said 'still carrying that baby weight then?' and 'never got your figure back then?!' Again though, not all 'boomers...' Some were my age or only 5-7 years older.

WTF is wrong with some people?!

😆

I don’t think people who say boomer this or mellenial that know or think that these groupings are not based on any metric, or even are the same over the world. As someone who had a career connected with analytics I know that they have and will change again.

that same boomer generation and the one before dragged equal rights, feminism, made minimum wage a thing, recognised the need for a more sustainable environment and protested against war, no one’s saying they succeeded but they broke the mould of previous generations, then they lived there lives and gave their children the means to go forward. Now within this generation there are good and bad examples like every generation but I’m just sick of the pile on and no I’m not a boomer.

Apparently we 'accepted' certain things because that was then.... Who the fuck fought for all the rights you all take for granted, and some of you just chuck away, now?

Bloody well said, @ForPearlViper, all of it!

Some posters here have described grossly dysfunctional families and/or people unable to suppress their own issues when speaking.

It may appear age related, given it's quite likely that those people are aged 50+. It's not, though, you'll find plenty of people behaving exactly like that at any age. I'm asking PPs to stop being bigoted, lazy thinkers.

Because it's hypocritical bullshit mostly.

That's your take on this? I'm sure some of the posters on here would be happy to let you borrow their toxic mothers.

Most of these comments really don't appear to be coming from a place of love.

You're right ... the vast VAST majority of 'you're a podgy fucker' comments NEVER come from a place of love!

!

Gosh I’m sorry you had to hear that. I was only 2 months PP when a family member who I thought I got on quite well with said to me ‘oh for goodness sake men will still want you.’ I was actually explaining how mentally drained I was…completely taken back by that comment as ‘men’ had f* all to do with what I was talking about 😖 misogyny runs deep with a lot of older women

The 'boomers' are the acceptable face of discrimination on MN but do remember because of our awful upbringing and attitudes we know how to laugh at stupid people's views of us!

But they know they're too big. Eating disorders aren't caused by body positivity . They already had issues causing their ED of obesity and they use Body positive to cover it up. They feel shame that's why. If they love themselves they wouldn't be bingeing. It's an act of self harm.

A size 10 now is around a 14 in the 70s so she wasn't far off.

So what if she wasn’t far off? Why would she need to say something like that out loud? It’s pure spite.

Thank you.
I’m used to dm’s comments.

Ignore your dm, it’s a mh issue really don’t you think?

As someone who was a 10/12 in the 70s and having rounded out a little since then with age, I can report that is not my experience unless you are going into fast fashion store. Given my rounder self is a 12/small 14, I can confidently say I am not in a size 10 anywhere, even upmarket. My Mum was a 14 in the 70s, exactly the same shape now and still a 14.

I think that some this confusion has arisen with the rise of social media in the discussion of fashion and sizing where UK size 14 is a US size 10.

Any descriptor of a generation of people other than 'boomer' would not have come across as as ageist as this, but 'boomer' is already associated with so much sneering and 'ok boomer' that it's really not a neutral description. It's not a social science term.

My dad is from the silent generation, his sister an early boomer. They have far more in common than divides them. The same is true for my cousins and me (early gen x and late boomer). The lines are really arbitrary and most generalisations really don't work.

It's not unreasonable to make direct observations about things your own parents and their friends might seem to have in common, but generalising beyond that isn't justified really.

I think that works both ways, generalising about your own generation to feel better about yourself and indirectly put down others isn't a great idea either, even if sometimes it comes out as a defence in the face of other people's generalisations.

Not really. As a sewer who still uses some older patterns I can assure you the measurements are considerably larger now. I was a 10 in the early 70s and would be a 4 to 6 on today's sizing in the shops.

My partner is a baby boomer he was born early 60's he just caught it. He said to me today you can't say nothing without upsetting someone. People today are too easy to offend. He found it amusing last week when he read an email people today are putting their pronouns on professional emails. He's glad he's not young and was able to live a more care free life. We live in a serious society and you can't say nothing.

I know this isn't a popular opinion but I couldn't agree more. The whole body positivity brigade are not doing anyone any favours in terms of the long term health issues caused by being overweight. I'm a boomer and I can honestly say, I've never known a time until now where there are so many overwight young people. I certainly don't think a person's worth should be judged based on how they look, etc, but I think it's gone way too far in the other direction as a lot of young women are practically celebrating obesity.

Not slagging off peoples weight and body size is a pretty small ask. It's not telling you to 'say nothing.' 🙄

My DM likes to tell me that I was at my best weight in a photo that she has in which I am wearing a particular dress.

It was the year I got divorced and I was really mentally unwell at that time (which she knows). I was also a frail size 6 and my head really looks too big for my body even in the particular photo that she likes.. thanks mum 🙈

He's of the opinion fat people should be banned from McDonald's and other takeaway shops.