Filtered SM images that look like different people

[StrawberryDream24]

Can someone explain to me the thinking behind people (in this case I think it's entirely women) using images of themselves on FB that are so heavily filtered (and sometimes out of date) that they look like completely different people?

Does anyone else find this mind boggling?

I mean, anyone who knows them in person;; knows they don't look like that.

Are they getting gratification out of thinking people who don't know them in person or haven't seen them in person for a long time ...believe they look like that (?)

Are they not embarrassed that people who know them or who've seen them recently will look at the images and think "wtaf, you don't look anything like that?" or "Who is that?" ?

Is this some sort of delusion?

(Examples;

I was introduced to a young relative's girlfriend a while back - whose FB profile had been popping up on my "people you may know" since she started seeing my young relative and friended his family on FB.

I was completely non plussed and had to hide how confused I was, because the FB profile image that had been popping up was (and still is) of a tiny, thin young woman with bleached hair, posing in mini dress; but I was introduced to a v curvy young woman with brown hair who even facially appears to look nothing like the young woman in the FB profile image.

For a moment I thought he must have ended things with the young woman in the profile and gotten together with another young woman; except she had exactly the same name, and it's an extremely uncommon name, I had to assume it was the same person and was just left with trying to hide my non plussed expression.
The FB profile pic still seems to be up, so it"s definitely her.

Another young woman I know as an acquaintance (though she's not as young as my relative's gf) posts heavily filtered images of herself on Facebook regularly.
They don't look like her. They look like a different person. (She's generally posting saying she e.g. got a new hair cut and apparently prompting comments/compliments).
This is an intelligent young woman with kids, who's doing a masters and building a career.

I just don't get it.

There's trying to look your best but then there's posting images that look like a different person.

What's the point?

I don't get it either. Someone was showing me her pictures taken on holiday and she had miraculously lost about 5 stone, gone blond and lost several large moles/ lumps on her face. She said .. I look really different with make up.on don't I? .
I didn't know how to respond so just stood there looking non plussed.

If it’s not harming you and it’s making the other person feel less self conscious then I wouldn’t really think much into it. Unless they’re posting a picture of you that you didn’t ask them to post it’s their social media to pretty much post what they like. Social standards unfortunately create a world at the moment where a lot of young girls feel under pressure to conform.

YES. This is what popped straight into my head. I thought it was two people!!!! (The Middlesbrough lady arrested for smuggling).

I recently saw two FB pictures of a couple of female relatives.

Both looked as if their faces had melted as the skin was so smooth and perfect.

Absolutely no way do either of them look like that in real life.

Unfortunately having a heavily filtered blurred face to the point you can’t see their facial features also isn’t conforming to any sort of beauty standards either and looks absolutely ridiculous. I think the reason it irritates most people is because they turn themselves into an unrecognisable person and as many posters on here have stated, it’s extremely confusing say when they have met someone for a date who looks nothing like their pictures or they’ve sold something on facebook and the person who came to collect the item looked nothing like their pictures on facebook.

I know someone who is a size 18-20 but every social media photo makes her look like a slim Kim Kardashian, including work and linked in media. I don’t know how it must be when she turns up for meetings with new colleagues? Confusing for them and a big sign of insecurity on her part.

I've always felt this way about, e.g., padded bras, way before social media. Isn't the entire point of a padded bra to get to the point where someone takes it off you? And, when they do, won't they be disappointed to find you're made of cotton stuffing? And isn't the entire point of a dating app to get to the point where someone wants to meet you in person? And, when they do, won't they be surprised and potentially disgruntled if you look nothing like your photos? And, aren't most of most people's social media contacts people they've already met IRL - so won't all of those people know what you actually look like? So a desire to hide behind a digital 'better you' can't exactly be what's going on here. The younger women I know, including some very smart ones, all seem to post an endless stream of selfies that make them look like plastic dolls, which is weird and depressing for a woman my age but just seems to be the norm now. Perhaps, for digital natives, this is what 'looking your best' online means? As another poster said, perhaps it's some version of dressing up to look like you made an effort, and no one actually expects it to be 'real'??

I’d say the reason they do it is because they have extremely low self esteem and they want to believe they look better than they do. I actually believe they’re trying to convince people who know them and have met them in real life that they actually look like the filtered version of themselves in real life and that it ‘must be the camera that got it wrong’ and so need to use filters. I also think that those who post these ridiculous over filtered versions of themselves on dating apps are fooling themselves into thinking they look that way in real life and from what I can gather from the many stories I’ve heard, most of these women seem confused when their date walks out.

In another weird development, I live in an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty where I encounter lots of tourists on my walks. The majority are adults in hiking gear, but I also sometimes see teen girls (or at least not older than 20) who seem to be dressed for a photo shoot. Their clothing (especially the white trainers), hairstyles, heavy makeup, designer sunglasses and tiny bags - I even saw one with a little dog under her arm as she texted with both hands - all seem extremely impractical for a wet, muddy, hilly hike, but make perfect sense if you imagine them in a selfie with a 'nature' backdrop. It's kind of freaky to see the online world bleeding into real life this way.

Reddit have a sub called Instagramreality, it documents this all the time

There are a lot of social media influencers who claim to be a certain size and filter their pictures so much yet when they’re in someone else’s picture they are at least 2 sizes bigger yet constantly deny that they use a filter.

yes but there is a reason those men are ON said dating shows

they applied in the first place because they AREN'T currently in a successful relationship in the first place (probably because of their deluded ego) and because they are fixated on looks over other values

then they were chosen from all the other applicants because they would make good television (again because they were so arrogant/deluded).

If you're a casting director and are choosing between arsey memeable twat who thinks he deserves a goddess, or normal Kev who just wants a fairly pretty woman to watch the footie with you'll go for the one who will boost your ratings.

@StrawberryDream24 was talking about most (normal) men.

Agreed for the most part. But there may be some truth to 'the camera got it wrong'... For an example, I do not photograph well - never have - and people who meet me after only seeing photos, like on dating sites BITD, have consistently said how much better-looking I am in person (still no great beauty, but apparently the improvement is significant enough to comment on). So I tend to avoid cameras, and to feel that they pretty much 'get it wrong', and to dislike candid photos of myself. I'm fairly sure I can't be the only one😁but adding filters to 'fix' things would actually just create a whole new set of problems.

what? no!
This might come as a shock to you but women don't dress solely to attract a sexual partner
I've got big boobs but just off the top of my head can think of multiple other possible reasons for wearing a padded bra:

• they liked the design/print and the padding was included
• they get cold/have prominent nipples and don't want them to be visible
• so that clothes fit properly. Some tops/dresses drape oddly if you are flat chested
• they like the way it makes them look, just for themselves, to give them more confidence about a body part they might feel unhappy with
• they want to look good, generally, for anyone who sees them (male/female/friends/colleagues) which doesn't automatically equate to wanting to jump into bed with anyone who gives them a compliment

Exactly the same as the reasons for wearing make up. Do you think women only wear red lipstick to get a shag and for no other reasons? Do you think men are shocked and confused when they wake up the next morning and said woman's lips are no longer bright scarlet and eyelids no longer glittery gold?

That's not the same as what OP is talking about. Padded bras might take you from an A to a B, or a B to a C. Nobody has ever not recognised someone because their boobs look a slightly different size in real life than in a photo.

What gets me is when the police put out an appeal for a missing person and use a heavily filtered photo. I mean I guess it might have been the best they could find but the reality is that they will look quite different.

I agree completely. Cameras don’t always show us at our best and can distort our features depending on what angle we take the picture from. I also feel they highlight lots of fine lines and wrinkles that don’t seem to look anywhere near as bad when looking in a mirror. However, they do show our general appearance, even if the angles aren’t the best or a person might not photograph well or we have been caught off guard when the picture was taken, the person looking at the picture will most likely know it’s you, they may think it’s not the best picture of you but in general you are recognisable.

However, what I mean by people thinking the camera got it wrong is those who are in so much denial they will use filters and edit their pictures beyond recognition so that they look like a completely different person. I probably didn’t explain what I was trying to say very well if I’m honest.

Low self esteem

As an ex Police Officer I attended an hour long input on what photo to choose when making an appeal for someone missing or even when someone has been murdered and you're after witnesses. There a lot of thought about making the photo as relatable as possible so people will sympathetic and provide information but it's a difficult line at times. Often we would have to put out the lovely school photo of a fresh faced young person when in actual fact despite being 13 actually looked like a 25 year old drag queen with all the make-up. But the truth was in reality no one would recognise them from the school photo.

I know this is the internet and I'm not supposed to say this, but: You're right, enhancing one's appearance isn't the same thing as changing it to a point where no one would recognise you. On a continuum, where just wearing certain clothes, or styling your hair, would be at one end while full digital filtering to the point of unrecognisability would be at the other, a padded bra is probably very near the 'just wearing clothes' end, along with e.g. shoulder pads. So, sorry - I stand corrected. (I'm an extremely lazy, can't-be-arsed dresser and never wear makeup or anything even a little bit uncomfortable, so obviously my prejudices are showing!)

YANBU @StrawberryDream24 A cousin of my DD's partner kept popping up on FB as a suggested friend, and she looked slim, and around 25 y.o. When I finally met her, she was around 4 stone heavier than she looked on her profile photo, and she look more like 40. (She was 36.) I was gobsmacked. Thought it was a different woman!

Also, there's the lass who is in trouble for smuggling right now. (Kim Hall.) The difference in her insta pics and the real her is off the charts!

Pics 1 & 2 - insta pics. Pics 3 & 4 - the real Kim!

But my point is if that makes that person feel better why does it bother you? Of course if a male is meeting a female who sold herself under a filtered image then yeah it’s a bit out of line. But for a woman to post a pic on her own social media using a filter she chose to use I don’t really see a problem it doesn’t affect our lives in any way shape or form x

It's more than that.

I saw a photograph of a 50+ yr old acquaintance that was so filtered, she was unrecognisable. It didn't look like herself at 20 - it looked like a mannequin, rather than a human being.

That looks like a totally different person. How ridiculous and delusional.

Several years ago I used online dating. Many men said no filtered pictures on their profiles. I can see why. Grief imagine turning up gor a date and not recognising the person you're talking to. 😕

Also the people that pop on a filtered picture for likes and comments such as 'stunning, gorgeous, beautiful ' also delusional with low self esteem. Everyone knows, some laugh, it's pretty silly, this ridiculous filtered as above picture, I feel sorry that they cannot just be themselves.

I’m actually more confused by those who actually make comments of “stunning” or “beautiful” on people’s heavily filtered pictures. I don’t understand why they do it. I have never commented on people’s pictures when they’ve used excessive filters because I’m not the type of person to lie and call someone stunning when it clearly looks nothing like that person. So I’m genuinely interested why someone would comment on them.

@Mumofnarnia there’s a group, admittedly a small one, that genuinely think just a flattering photo. Others maybe think being kind & helping boost fragile self esteem.