Filtered SM images that look like different people

[StrawberryDream24]

Can someone explain to me the thinking behind people (in this case I think it's entirely women) using images of themselves on FB that are so heavily filtered (and sometimes out of date) that they look like completely different people?

Does anyone else find this mind boggling?

I mean, anyone who knows them in person;; knows they don't look like that.

Are they getting gratification out of thinking people who don't know them in person or haven't seen them in person for a long time ...believe they look like that (?)

Are they not embarrassed that people who know them or who've seen them recently will look at the images and think "wtaf, you don't look anything like that?" or "Who is that?" ?

Is this some sort of delusion?

(Examples;

I was introduced to a young relative's girlfriend a while back - whose FB profile had been popping up on my "people you may know" since she started seeing my young relative and friended his family on FB.

I was completely non plussed and had to hide how confused I was, because the FB profile image that had been popping up was (and still is) of a tiny, thin young woman with bleached hair, posing in mini dress; but I was introduced to a v curvy young woman with brown hair who even facially appears to look nothing like the young woman in the FB profile image.

For a moment I thought he must have ended things with the young woman in the profile and gotten together with another young woman; except she had exactly the same name, and it's an extremely uncommon name, I had to assume it was the same person and was just left with trying to hide my non plussed expression.
The FB profile pic still seems to be up, so it"s definitely her.

Another young woman I know as an acquaintance (though she's not as young as my relative's gf) posts heavily filtered images of herself on Facebook regularly.
They don't look like her. They look like a different person. (She's generally posting saying she e.g. got a new hair cut and apparently prompting comments/compliments).
This is an intelligent young woman with kids, who's doing a masters and building a career.

I just don't get it.

There's trying to look your best but then there's posting images that look like a different person.

What's the point?

Also I remember being so jealous of a woman on social media who an ex of mine used to always fawn over. He's an ex for good reason 😆

Then I remember seeing her in person and being shocked at how different she looked from her pictures. I felt sad that I'd wasted time being jealous over an illusion.

I would add, some people live an almost second life on social media. They might want to appear perfect in case an ex or an old friend looks through their profile. Of course real life is where things actually matter but a lot of people are very absorbed in social media and fantasy.

Yes, she was a very unfiltered lady with words for sure! I did find it funny too though (my default) and in some ways it made me think and consider photos I may use on OLD (if I go back to it). I used to actually use not overly flattering photos - this meant most folk were pleasantly surprised, or at least not gutted, on any date - if this is possible I think it a good tip for folk on OLD still, though I am now of an age and look where most folk would shut down their pc without a reasonably flattering pic 🤣
For Facebook I am vain to the extent I have to review what kids post - but they think they are funny at times! Few photos I see a reason to share of myself, and nowadays I do choose the kinder ones, but no filters ever and not just because I don’t know how to use them - which is actually because I just don’t want to - like you I just don’t get the full on filtered ones at all.

I feel your pain. My son was looking at a 10 year old travel card of mine, a "good" photo but not filtered or messed with. He laughed heartily and said "But that's not what you look like".

I mean I know time has passed and motherhood has aged me, but to me I still look recognisable from that photo. Not to others it seems!

The is an instagrammer who is in her early 20s and I really like her style however I noticed recently her face is blurring and smooth on her videos and it’s such a shame.

She is stunning and looks better without the filter.

My sister has a friend who I didn’t think I’d ever met when we met up recently as a group. She had full make up and lashes on. I genuinely couldn’t have told you it was the same person as the one I had met before and regularly see online without make up. I was mortified when I introduced myself.

She posts for the 'you're so beautiful comments ' it's a bit sad really. What's wrong with real pictures

My ex husband came up as a friend recommendation recently. His profile photo was one from before we were married.

We married in 1980!!

Bizarre. It's not even a good photo!

There is a huge societal pressure for women to look good and not age. This can cause a lot of insecurities. I imagine this is impacting the reasons why they choose to use filters and post outdated photos.

I can completely understand it, and I wouldn't criticise these women either. It's hard when we're judged so hugely on our looks and youth.

This irks me the most when people filter their kids. I know someone who routinely does this with their little girl but not her boy.

Horrible.

I get your point but the women I'm referring to in the Op are early 20s and late 20s/maybe 30 at the most.

Neither of them have visible aged. They are not minimising signs of aging, they are posting photos with such significant filters that they look like other people.

I have a friend who posts completely filtered photos for the comments. “You’re stunning” etc. I told her she looked like Voldemort as she was so filtered her nose had almost disappeared 😂. She laughed too…she knows exactly what she’s doing and finds it funny.

At least she has a sense of humour about it.

I had this at work. We can nominate our own photo for Teams. I was in work but having a Team chat with someone in a different department. We decided it might be better if we spoke in person so I explained where I was sitting and I was wearing a green dress.

The next moment a lady stands up behind me and starts chatting to me. Totally confused I realised she was the lady I'd been talking to and was sat only a few feet away from me but bore no resemblance to the heavily filter photo in her profile?!

I should , however defend the 'old photos'. I nominated a photo when I joined the company 5 years ago and I don't know of anyone who would update their photo on a regular basis as it's not a straight forward process.

Well I think that sounds like experimenting to me, trying out different looks. A bit like trying out new make up and going out (as opposed to just looking at it in the mirror and wiping it off again).

I don’t think I use social media as much as you seem to, so I’m not sure on the rules that the photos have to look like you.

We also have an annual photographer, but people are free to change their profile picture themselves!

I think its a self esteem thing. A friend does it as she is convinced old boyfriends check her profile from time to time and she wants them to see what they missed out on. I don't understand it personally, i never look at exes facebooks and i dont know anyone who does , but she is convinced everyone does it. she has low self esteem and gets a boost from getting lots of likes on new profile pictures that are heavily filtered. I've tried discussing it but she says it makes her feel good, each to their own I guess.

What’s Victoria Beckham do on social media (?) as looks amazing & looks incredible re: tweaks from Spice Girl audition time.

@mamajong if you’ve always been the ugly duckling it can be addictive. I find people sometimes tag you in amazing shots of themselves & if you say anything they add ‘you look amazing’.

Is there a way to pose to look better on socials? Am clueless.

@sickandtiredofitallnow that is hilarious!

Don't know about the filtering thing, but for me having outdated photos is just down to laziness and lack of interest, nothing to do with vanity or self esteem.

Yeah I find it super odd. Most people in real life just look like normal people, then their social media picture is like they are a Hollywood A-lister 😂 I would be really embarrassed if everyone meeting me was thinking God she's much uglier in person 🤭

it isn't just young women who do this. I know lots of women in their 50s who use incredibly heavy filters to look 20 years younger, but in person they just look like a normal 50-year-old.

It’s the pressure to have the perfect “instagram face”. If you ever try the apps out or the filters on Instagram, you suddenly feel very ugly without them. Then if almost every other woman your age is using them, you don’t want to be left behind looking like the ugly ducking because AI hasn’t “fixed” your face and body.

When I was 23 I met a man from tinder for a date -he’d seen me by video call before with no makeup on and I didn't use filters then - the topic of social media came up and he said “where are all those instragram girls in real life?!” I was offended initially as I was attractive with a toned size 6 Pilates body and clear skin and long hair and nothing objectively wrong with me, but then I just felt sorry for him because he was chasing after a woman that didn’t exist. I’m a bit older and less toned now so I am guilty of tweaking my photos a bit now, even using the FaceTime presets, it definitely is due to insecurity in the way I look.

Yes! Men and women alike have been brainwashed to think everyone looks like CGI or something. I think it has shifted what people perceive as beautiful. But if you shut off from social media/the online world, you start to pick up on the beauty of real people again. Plus so much of beauty comes from character, humour, personality, wit, intelligence, passion.

Totally agree! Beautiful comes in so many different forms, quirks and personality’s away from phone screens! I wish social media and phones with screens didn’t exist.

I spend a lot of time on the Instagram vs Reality subreddit because I find this so fascinating!

I don’t post pictures of myself online, but if I did I wouldn’t make myself more attractive. I’d much rather post an underwhelming photo and then have people think I’m more attractive in real life if that makes sense! These poor souls are deluding themselves, harming their own self esteem and setting themselves up for a huge fall when they can’t live up to their online “avatar”. Because that’s what it is, really, it’s creating an avatar for themselves that they can control.