Filtered SM images that look like different people

[StrawberryDream24]

Can someone explain to me the thinking behind people (in this case I think it's entirely women) using images of themselves on FB that are so heavily filtered (and sometimes out of date) that they look like completely different people?

Does anyone else find this mind boggling?

I mean, anyone who knows them in person;; knows they don't look like that.

Are they getting gratification out of thinking people who don't know them in person or haven't seen them in person for a long time ...believe they look like that (?)

Are they not embarrassed that people who know them or who've seen them recently will look at the images and think "wtaf, you don't look anything like that?" or "Who is that?" ?

Is this some sort of delusion?

(Examples;

I was introduced to a young relative's girlfriend a while back - whose FB profile had been popping up on my "people you may know" since she started seeing my young relative and friended his family on FB.

I was completely non plussed and had to hide how confused I was, because the FB profile image that had been popping up was (and still is) of a tiny, thin young woman with bleached hair, posing in mini dress; but I was introduced to a v curvy young woman with brown hair who even facially appears to look nothing like the young woman in the FB profile image.

For a moment I thought he must have ended things with the young woman in the profile and gotten together with another young woman; except she had exactly the same name, and it's an extremely uncommon name, I had to assume it was the same person and was just left with trying to hide my non plussed expression.
The FB profile pic still seems to be up, so it"s definitely her.

Another young woman I know as an acquaintance (though she's not as young as my relative's gf) posts heavily filtered images of herself on Facebook regularly.
They don't look like her. They look like a different person. (She's generally posting saying she e.g. got a new hair cut and apparently prompting comments/compliments).
This is an intelligent young woman with kids, who's doing a masters and building a career.

I just don't get it.

There's trying to look your best but then there's posting images that look like a different person.

What's the point?

I think it's partly because people don't see themselves in a mirror the way others see them. The filtering is just how they see themselves in their head. I always think I take a shocking photograph, I don't look how my brain tells me I look. But in reality the photo will be accurate, so I can see how people filter to reconcile those two images.

I have a colleague like this. Her social media profile was taken about 10 years ago, a professional picture and she looks amazing. During the last 10 years though she has had a lot of health issues and has put on a lot of weight, mostly because she has not been able to be as active as she;d like and because of drugs she has been taking. I totally understand why she doesn't want to update her picture, but she is unrecognisable.

Look at the sub Reddit instagramvsreality!

There is one celebrity off the top of my head who looks nothing like her Instagram photos. She claims the paps have it in for her and edit photos to make her look completely different but when she's on TV she looks like her pap photos not her insta photos.

@NoGwenItsABoxingDayTrifle not being goady, genuinely curious...why? Why would you want to change your holiday pictures? You look how you look. Surely it's odd to then look back at them because you'd know that's not what you looked like on your holiday? I can't imagine spending a holiday thinking 'I'll take a picture then edit it to look better when I get home'

Its a modern version ( thought it more exaggerated) of people who don't change their look after their happiest/time best era

Think about the women you used to see with jet black hair and 80s makeup people who don't change their 'look' have the same hair style from when they were on their twenties. Men in double denim & a cowboy hat .
When they look in their 'mindseye' they see themselves as being that image they remember ( am I making sense?)
It's also social compliance to a degree, as nobody wants to look different or fat or older than their "friends" ( another weird sm thing having lots of friends who you don't actually know & could walk past without recognizing!)
Social media is about projecting snippets of perfection
It's weird to me I don't use sm snymore though

It's because they are insecure about how they look.

I think the thinking behind it comes from the same place as anybody who's ever applied make up, worn flattering clothes, coloured or styled their hair, had eyelashes, brows or nails. They know that's not what they look like without some fakery, but still want to present as though they do look like that. OK, the filtered images are much more extreme, but I think the psychology is the same. It's wanting to look their best self as they see it, in a context where others are using tricks to help. The filters and lighting etc are just electronic make up, fake tan and control pants.

Beauty means influence, respect & a life with ‘power ups’, high status & increased opportunity. That’s why people do it. You’re disproportionally ugly, as some see it, if you don’t ‘enhance’ & therefore lesser. Not the coveted and oft posted ‘beautiful inside & out’. Twas ever thus but social media magnifies & society is becoming more superficial.

Someone I know was on a date recently, she’s perfectly attractive & her date left instantly they met ‘sorry, you’re nothing like your photos’ he said.

It's mental. I don't post photos because I'm a woman of a certain age that mostly looks like a bag of shit. But loads of people I know do this. And in my head I'm thinking WTAF you look nothing like this picture, so the compliments mean absolutely nothing. I also have acquaintances that only post (filtered) head shots, they are size 22 plus, and it's only their heads they show. So it's a complete lie in every way.

I also spotted these photos in the newspaper, I think the difference in the woman’s appearance is more than a few weeks in prison would cause! I thought she must have used filters on her original photos.

As regards men on dating sites who look 20 years younger, I reckon they have a magic mirror which makes then think they look younger - I often wish I had one!

Its not though is it?
There's enhancing yoursel with a decent hair cut and make up that flatters...... and then there's not resembling yourself in any way whatsoever.

I had this at work a few years ago. I was working closely with a colleague in another location so we met via teams regularly, she never turned on her camera just left her teams profile photo up. Anyway, there came a day we actually met in person and she arranged to meet me in the head office reception. I got there and what looked like a completely different woman walked over to greet me. I felt like my jaw was on the floor! I'd spent weeks chatting to this lady and because of her photo had an image in my head of how she looked. She was only in her 20s so it wasn't even that old a photo. She must have filtered and manipulated that photo so much, she looked NOTHING like it! Bonkers!

I assume it's that thing where you see a photo of yourself and think, "Oh, I don't look like that surely!" And so people adjust pics so they resemble what is in their own head.

There's a woman I went to school with who looks like an alien in her many selfies. Occasionally she'll be tagged in someone else's photo and she looks entirely different.

I know what you’re saying. I know a couple of people who do this I thought someone had completely changed as i hadn’t seen them in a long time but when I bumped in to them again they looked just how I remembered and nothing like all the pictures I’d seen them post.

This is another issue with this that boggles my mind.

I saw a video on YouTube made by a young woman discussing dating and internet dating.

She used makeup and lighting in the video, I presume she used makeup, angles, lighting and maybe filters in her photos.

She reported meeting up with an online date who took her to a party/gathering and she overheard him saying to his friend that she wasn't much like her photos and "way less hot".

This knocked her, disappointed her, saddened her, she was still talking about it months later in her videos.

So, again, what's the point?

It is not actually self defeating in a way.

People who know you; think (at best) "oh they're insecure/delusional/superficial".

People who don't know you; are nonplussed and disappointed when they meet you.

Is it about getting attention and gratification from people you'll never meet (?)

That's one of the things I'm on about. It's not the "enhancing" people previously did using makeup, shapewear, a decent haircut, heels etc.

It's looking like a different person.

Crushing low self esteem because women are part of society where they are only respected if they’re impossibly beautiful.

I know someone who has Botox and lip fillers, but still doesn’t ever post an unfiltered photo. It’s a shame, because she’s naturally very attractive.

DH has a distant relative on FB who had a gastric band about a year ago. She posts photos daily about her progress and sometimes posts before and after photos. The thing is the before photos have never been seen before as she used ridiculous filters. She still uses filters so has an unnaturally white face with an exaggerated heart shape and huge eyes. Nothing like she looks on the photos other people post with her on them.

@StrawberryDream24 I am guessing but I think as she saw it, it gave her an ‘in’. She’s attractive, charismatic, intelligent, witty & fun. Men are very visual & on line dating very competitive.

It’s really very sad if it’s really become all about how we present & look. A man once said to me he wanted to be with the woman that stopped other men in their tracks with a ‘My God he’s lucky, she’s smoking’. If no one said that about date, not a second. Possibly like your woman above.

It’s weird. Many people who do this look like another species, the proportions of the human face have been so distorted.

Sometimes when girls are reported ‘missing’ , the photograph which accompanies the appeal is so generic and obviously filtered that it is of no assistance in identifying anyone.

We won’t go into the men who transform their images into a (slightly) closer resemblance to females…..

I agree with the self esteem part but I honestly don't agree that women are only respected if they're impossibly beautiful.

Neither men nor women expect or "need" women to be "impossibly beautiful".

Attractive is enough to "please" most men and I couldn't say whether women treat attractive women better than non attractive ones (which is a very personal taste thing anyway). It's a mixed bag.

I'd actually say very beautiful women suffer for it in many ways.

Many women would not want to be their friend. Many women would take out their envy, insecurity etc on them. We've all seen it.

Men are often intimidated by very beautiful women. They often choose less beautiful - but still attractive - women over them. Very beautiful women often attract primarily men with dark triad traits ...who are the only ones avaristic, egotistical, over confident and risk taking enough to go for them. Did Marilyn Monroe have a nice, successful relationship history? Have many very beautiful women had entirely successful, lovely relationship histories? I can think of many who have been treated horribly and not had any better treatment or "luck" than average looking women.

Men don't need women to be "impossibly beautiful" and women probably don't want other women to be "impossibly beautiful".

The most successful attractor of men I've ever met was a size 14-16, small chested, tall for a woman; girl I went to uni with.

She has a pretty face. Above all she is outgoing, chatty, open, has the gift of the gab, full of fun and didn't take anything too seriously. She pulled guy after guy after guy and almost every guy anyone in our group dated was introduced by her too.

Also, respect .... Respect can be for many many things other than looks.
Women can be and are respected for lots of things other than looks. It may be more common for women to respect other women for things other than looks....but I've seen and heard plenty of (the better adjusted) men in our society express respect for women for their work, for their skills, for all sorts of things.

@StrawberryDream24 I agree with you but I wonder whether things are shifting now most (?) meet partners online?

Haha!! I used to work as a lecturer and we had a printout with the student photos on to help us identify who was who at the start of the year! However ... The majority of the girls looked absolutely nothing like their photos!! It's so sad how they have to pout at the camera and apply thick layers of makeup just for a uni photo!

It’s bloody sad. How did we get to this point? The pressures women put on themselves are unbelievable. The massive focus on what we look like, and not aging. Nothing wrong with wanting to look good but there needs to be a healthy level you accept.

I know it’s always been there to a certain extent but how many men do you know who endlessly filter photos and obsess to the detriment of their mental health.

Thank fuck I was a teen in the 80s as it would have been so exhausting falling into this trap.