To hate when people repeatedly tell the same stories?

[overrainbowstars]

I have a colleague (we started one month apart) who constantly tells me about the interview process, who interviewed her, what she had to do etc.

And I just think yes we spoke about this the day we met. Why do you think I don’t know this story?!?

My sister is terrible for this too. Constantly tells me the same stories that she would have told me at the time they actually happened. But no a good 15 years later I’m still getting told about the time her uni friend walked out of their exam.

In fairness those sound like cracking stories

Another variation - repetition and amplification. So the first time you hear it, there was £1000 of damage to neighbour guy’s motorbike and they had to call the police. By the time it’s on its third iteration it’s £10,000 of damage and a court case. I fully expect before it’s done someone’ll be bankrupt and the CID will have fingerprinted next door’s cat.

Spotting inconsistencies is the curse of having an anecdotal sort of memory. I suppose we could look at it as a form of performance art or folklore or something 😛

One friend who did it just liked to hear her own voice and be the centre of attention. I don't see her much now as I used to think life was too precious to be wasted.

I work with someone and I hear her latest life event/ drama what she had for tea last night 3 -5 times .

We work in the same room, she'll tell me, then she'll tell the boss, then she'll tell another colleague l, then she'll tell two people who happen to pop into the office

I know I could drown it out and i often do but she's quite loud so sometimes tricky to

I don't mind a good anecdote. But when it turns into human radio, I'm out.

My favourite is when two of these types meet at a party and a long game of story top trumps begins.

I think this is right.

It is terribly annoying though!

Apart from the anaesthetist and the coven, I think I’ve heard all these more than once from medics/people working in medical schools, only the bubble car was being carried down a street in another country… There was also a lot of ‘Give us a hand’ (followed by the offer of a medical cadaver’s hand) stories.

Smile and nod and think of other things or try for a way to move the conversation on.

I've had 30 + years of IL doing this - those the evolution of those stories which can be amusing - they often bare little relation to actual events.

Though I am finding it upsetting they are using my mother situation to regurgitating a story about MIL parents dead over 15 years and them going to a group - MIL didn't take them didn't go to meetings herself and left bulk of the elder care to her brother to his employment and mental health determent. Feels like a criticism of my Mum and me - she hates being managed and they won't have that and a criticism of how I'm behaving ie not managing her- acting like mum decades older than them rather than same age and like they are waiting, not listening to what I say, to trot out same story.

Though often feel that with IL anyway - they aren't listening just waiting to trot out same stories - and why would I be interested in a meal you ate before I was born - why - but I increasing feel DH doing this as well waiting for a moment to recite a story yet again and not actually listening.

Why would you want to tell the person twice? Or ten times? It's disrespectful of their time.

Do you believe that her manager told her that at an interview. ?

Because unless you have yourself been told that by the manager, or other people have told you the same thing, I would (a) not necessarily believe that this happened, (b) wonder what she might be saying about you to other colleagues (as ‘ likes a threesome’ ) , (c) be inclined to tell either HR , senior management or the manager in question about this possible slander.

Just to clarify if someone tells me the same story twice I’m not screaming at them YOU ALREADY TOLD ME THIS!!!! I am talking about maybe the 5+ time.

My example in the OP about colleague telling me about her interview for the company we both work for, it’s almost common sense to think that starting very close together and having worked together for a year we would have had that conversation.

Not as funny as you think you are, dearie

The joke was aimed at you, not for you Squidward.

What? 😂 I never said she said that at the interview. I was merely giving another example of something she’s repeatedly told me.

If people tell me in a polite way I just stop and say sorry - but then I do leave it to them to continue the conversation (if they want to). This has led to some awkward silences where they rack their brains for something to say. If people tell me in a rude way I just stop and say nothing. This also leads to an awkward silence but why should I do the conversational heavy lifting if they are going to be rude? They can tell me something, or we can not talk, either is OK.

What amuses me is when someone who is also guilty of doing this tells me I have told them something before. I just say sorry - happens to us all, what shall we talk about then? (And make a note to do the same to them when they next do it.)

With me it has increased with age - not working now gives me fewer things to talk about but I'm finding it quite relaxing to leave the talking to others.

My mum has always done this. Say we’re on the phone and she tells me something that has happened. I reply. She then tells me it again in a slightly different way. I reply. She then picks out a random part and tells it again!
It can be very exhausting.

@cakecakecake98 That does sound odd though.

It is hugely different a family member doing it and someone you have to work with. In the latter case there is more scope for saying something and less for leaving the room (job dependant). We used to pretend to phone each other - olden days, phones on the desk - when the office bore came around and outstayed his welcome.

I agree - and it’s awful to be pulled up short in the middle of a story. It’s kind of like beginning to undress at the GP and being told “ no you can keep that on” or one of those airport loos that flushes at set intervals and splashes you when you’re still using it. It’s a case of feeling simultaneously exposed and unwanted.

People only tend to tell a story as they think it’s pertinent, and have simply forgotten you were once told, unless they have a cognitive condition that sort of traps them in a repeat, in which case it’s that, so also a bit unkind and intolerant. I don’t think people retell stories to be rude or annoying.

I think the tiny handful who do it with some degree of awareness are often slightly socially anxious and use it as a crutch - because they know they know what to say.

I think that is sometimes because you gave an un-hoped for reaction! She thinks your missing her drift - like the parking comment above, where they are angling for a lift but not getting the offer.

This all made me laugh!

It’s kind of like beginning to undress at the GP and being told “ no you can keep that on” or one of those airport loos that flushes at set intervals and splashes you when you’re still using it. It’s a case of feeling simultaneously exposed and unwanted.

You need to get help for these feelings of yours. When someone says 'You told me this yesterday' or 'Ah, yes, we've heard this story about the donkey before, haven't we?' they are telling you that they've heard it before and they don't need (or want) to hear it again. It's not all about you and your comfort.

My cousin does this. She's been married over 25 years and still, almost every time I see her, tells me stories of where they went on honeymoon and what people they met said. Now I just say Yes you've told me. I'm past being polite, but she ignores me and carries on.

SIL does it too, but slightly different. Her stories are repeated over and over but they change and become a bit more unbelievable with each telling.

At least it's made me try to be conscious of repeating myself

If people tell me in a polite way I just stop and say sorry - but then I do leave it to them to continue the conversation (if they want to). This has led to some awkward silences where they rack their brains for something to say. If people tell me in a rude way I just stop and say nothing. This also leads to an awkward silence but why should I do the conversational heavy lifting if they are going to be rude? They can tell me something, or we can not talk, either is OK.

Do you not worry that you are creating a situation where your friends can either sit in boredom while you shite on repeating yourself, or send you into a silent huff in retaliation for them politely saying "Oh yes! You told me about that"? I mean you almost seem...proud? of the awkward silence you are causing.

We all repeat ourselves and I would suggest it is useful to know we are doing it, and no need to take offence.

Yes, this, why do people do this? I have a friend like this who can never give the gist when he can go all out. He told me one story in horrendous boring detail and then told me the exact same story the next day, almost word for word, in all its horrendous boring detail for the second time.

I always try to be succinct for fear of boring people, but I do forget who I've told what story to, so do tend to stop after a second and say 'have I told you this already'.