To hate when people repeatedly tell the same stories?

[overrainbowstars]

I have a colleague (we started one month apart) who constantly tells me about the interview process, who interviewed her, what she had to do etc.

And I just think yes we spoke about this the day we met. Why do you think I don’t know this story?!?

My sister is terrible for this too. Constantly tells me the same stories that she would have told me at the time they actually happened. But no a good 15 years later I’m still getting told about the time her uni friend walked out of their exam.

Again (now I’m repeating my posts). I don’t want to be told 7,8,9 times that our manager told her she fucked married men in her 20s.

Seeking validation for what? Bonding over what? Shared experience of what?

It makes me feel weird she’s remembered it so deeply she tells it me so often.

My dh sometimes does this but it's because he's forgotten he's already told me. But the thing that really Annoys me when he's telling a story/event, he gives every minute details that isn't necessary!! I'll even then hear him telling the same story to his brother with all the minute boring details! Like get to the point already.
I have told him about this. Sometimes what seems interesting to one person isn't interesting to others.

So your female manager told your colleague that she, the manager, had sex with multiple married men when the manager was in her 20s?

Perhaps your colleague is shocked and wants to know if you are equally shocked.
In any case your manager is being highly inappropriate. You can go to HRif you have a department or ask the manager to stop talking about her sex life as it's unprofessional.

And you can tell your colleague that it was an inappropriate conversation and you don't want to discuss iI and if it bothers her so much, she should discuss it with HR, the manager or.the manager's boss.

Oh god, I fear that I do this! I have terrible memory (no Alzheimer’s I hope, I’m only 43). But yes, I do get told by people that I’ve told them something before (it’s not always the same stories) and I simply have no recollection 😭.
So, as annoying as it is for you, it’s as stressful for us. We risk either not saying much at all and being boooring, or repeating stories

People don't necessarily want to hear it more than once, though. If you're trapped at work with someone who feels compelled to tell the same stories over and over it must feel like the water torture. Maybe you don't have to "carry the conversation" if there's nothing new to say? Shutting up and enjoying a companionable silence is also an option. I really struggle with people who need to fill every moment with speech for the sake of it.

I have a friend who talks about the same problem with an in law and has done for 6 years as if it's new to me whereas I'm having quite a distressing time with my not very well stbxh and she talks over me after I've uttered two words about something new that's cropped up that week. It's very off-putting to be honest.

Yep I have a colleague at work like this, she does it all the time! Can tell you the same thing 3-4 times in the same 10 minute conversation! DRIVES ME INSANE!!

Ha, fair enough. I should have added to my post that I was replying to general comments about family members who repeat.

A colleague is different and yours does sound very trying

Rather than being annoyed I personally would wonder about MC !It's one thing to repeat and realise and very different to repeat and not remember.

My DF does this all the time. Drives me and my DM nuts. You have my sympathies.

Thank you for acknowledging my struggle 😂 she is extremely tiring.

This is hilarious. It’s perfectly possible to participate in a conversation without telling people more than once about the time you went out with your skirt tucked into your knickers.

“I’ll stop you there Jill, I’ve heard this one before” accompanied by a slightly raised hand to signal her to stop. (Obviously her name isn’t Jill but you get the point). It can be done in a light hearted way.

This is so true, but you can also say it in a nice way. Something like "oh yeah I think I remember this... Was that when x happened?" (even if you remember it very well).

Exactly! A dear friend of mine often tells me the same stories, and I don’t mind listening because he enjoys telling them and he is very entertaining. Sometimes he says “oh I’ve told you this before haven’t I?” And I just say yes, but I love this story! It’s nice to let people feel heard.

My dad was like this, and he was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

My mother in law also does this... she absolutely loves to make everything about her, and she repeats the same stories over and over again. I've heard my husband's birth story about 15 times, for example.

Gods yes. There's a neighbour I avoid because she says the same thing every time I see her. I don't need to be told you lived in such-and-such a country on repeat. I suspect she has dementia, but that doesn't make these extremely tedious conversations any more bearable.

In my head, I nicknamed her "Sky News", as all her stories are just rolling on an on.

^

Very funny 😂

Why is the manager telling your colleague how many married men she's slept with. That's very weird.

My dad does this - mainly with jokes/funny stories, and Honestly I think the only reason my parents are still married is that my mom has the memory of a goldfish and laughs along every time 🤣

Yes my mum has the same few favourite stories she will rotate. Told in dramatic fashion even though I've heard them probably more than 20 times.

Maybe she is as traumatized as you are about hearing that, and just needs to process it!

Surely everyone does this when you have known them for a while? Think of it as Greatest Hits radio. Or just say "I think you have told me this several times before." It's just what people do, we are programmed to tell stories.

This is what I do now as I’m becoming even less patient in my old age! I also tell people just to tell me if I’m repeating myself.

But it is really difficult if it’s a colleague - it would drive me demented! Sympathy

Along with the hand signal and those words, I would actually die of embarrassment. Perhaps I'm sensitive though.