To find second hand presents disrespectful

[BeBlueSquid]

We have a family member who always gifts us second hand gifts and it is obvious that they are.
I wasn't so bothered about myself but now my 4yo daughter has started to realise for example the book is worn and the toys are dirty.
I must add that they are very well off and besides you can get a little toy or book most places for £10.

I think second hand gifts have their place.

One of my kids is into designer makes. I couldnt (and wouldn't) pay full price for some of the items, especially since he is still growing so I have got quite a few bits on vinted. He wont care its second hand and wouldnt have got these clothes otherwise

I'm a bit more careful when gifting second hands to wider family and friends, just in case they look badly on it, but if it was something I know they would love and was otherwise out of price range, I'd buy second hand

Yeah I’d probably rather not receive anything than a dirty, worn second hand gift. Does this person not like you?!

Second hand is fine. I actually prefer it as I'm environmentally conscious. But I buy second hand I don't find something from my house we don't want! And clean and I'm good condition is essential. I think the unreasonable thing is the lack of effort here not the second hand

It's disrespectful to give anyone a 'gift' that's dirty, broken, scuffed, obviously used. That's not a gift, it's passing on unwanted tat, and yes, it's disrespectful.

This.
I'd agree with needs to be clean and tidy though.

Like most other posters I also have no issues with re-gifting or second hand gifts BUT they would need to be in decent condition and something that I am sure the other person would appreciate/want.

You can get some lovely almost new things online or in charity shops so there's really no excuse for gifting dirty or damaged items.

Finite resources and placing value on passed on items is why family heirlooms became such precious items.

Perhaps purchasing gifts that have longevity and meaning that can be passed on after a number of years is the way to go.

Or really useful things of course (I'm secretly hoping for some nice sharp fabric scissors for Christmas - I would very happily accept some second hand newly sharpened ones!)

We had a Great Aunt who re gifted Christmas presents that the family had given her in previous years. We all got wise and gave her things we’d quite like ourselves. It worked!
That apart, I’d like antique or vintage items, but as others have said tatty worn items, no.

If they are obviously worn and dirty, I’d put them straight in the bin.

And all future presents to them would be something from a pound shop.

I would hate second hand presents.

Its the thought that counts.

I'd have no problem with second hand if it was appropriate for my child and clean. However, to gift something that is tatty or DIRTY, I would find so offensive, that I would probably give it back to them, and say 'it seems you've been sold something that's second hand, as it's clearly been used, if I were you, I'd take it back and get your money back', and then stand back and watch them stutter, and turn red!! No wonder they're well off OP!

YANBU, it's ok to regift items that you've never used and they aren't expired, but giving out stuff that's clearly second-handed is just bad manners. Normally I don't question if the stuff I'm getting is regifted and I can regift something myself (though I make it a point to make sure I'm not giving it to the person that originally got me this gift in the first place, and I always add something else, at least a smartshow 3d video card). Gifts that are clearly worn out and dirty are not gifts, these are cop-outs.

Agree that giving dirty/worn hand me downs as gifts is disrespectful. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with secondhand stuff but it should be in as-new condition and carefully chosen if it’s a gift for someone else.

I do find it interesting on these sort of threads that there are posters advocating for secondhand that are complaining about children getting too much stuff and the problem of materialism for the planet etc and alongside them, posts from people saying they buys secondhand so they can buy MORE stuff… they’re not necessarily the same posters but it always strikes me as a bit of a contradiction.

Absolutely nothing wrong with a second hand gift imo, it’s very sensible in terms of cost, both financial and environmental, but giving you some old grubby worn-out toy that her child has tired of isn’t really on. A bare minimum for gifts should be that they are clean and in good condition!

Don’t be silly. Secondhand gifts are fine although i’ll concede that the giver should clean them off a bit before giving them. It hardly takes any effort.

That is terrible, I would be having words with her!

I don't have a problem with second hand or regifting as long as the items are clean, functional and appropriate for the person they are being given to. I often buy my children second hand items as gifts though that has become harder as they have got older and charity shops are no longer as cheap as they used to be.

My in laws have a habit of digging out toys from their older grandchildren who are now in their 20s or even from their own children to try and gift to us however these gifts are often outdated, broken and tatty because of how long they have been stored for, so I can completely empathise with the OP.

I wouldn’t call it ‘disrespectful’ - IMO that word is very over-used on here.

In this case it sounds like either stingy, or plain CBA.

But I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with 2nd hand, if the things are appropriate for whoever’s going to receive them, clean and in good condition.

I used to buy secondhand toys from EBay and charity shops for my kids (well cleaned first) and they were often the things they played with most!

I love secondhand non fiction books - especially those with dedications in the front or little pencil notes throughout.