My MIL has this ongoing habit of constantly pointing out how much our daughter looks and acts like my husband. She calls her his “twin” and makes it clear she sees no resemblance between my daughter and me. This isn’t just a rare comment—it’s every single time she visits (which is 1-2 full days per month), whenever a photo is shared in our group chat, or even when she randomly sends us baby pictures of my husband with captions like, “Isn’t she the spitting image of her daddy?”
I’m not exaggerating when I say I hear some version of “You are nothing like her” at least a few times a week. My MIL will even say things directly to my toddler like, “You’re nothing like your mummy, are you? All daddy!” My husband brushes it off, saying she doesn’t mean any harm, but honestly, it’s exhausting and hurtful.
It’s not just about looks either. If our daughter does something clever or cute, like solving a puzzle or climbing well, my MIL will say things like, “That’s some clever genes from your daddy,” or “You’ve got good genes from your daddy.” It’s as if any positive trait she displays must come from him, never from me.
Objectively, my daughter has my hair color, my eye color, and a mix of features from both of us. She’s petite like I was as a child, while my husband was a chunky toddler. Yes, she resembles him, but she also looks a lot like me.
It’s reached a point where the comments feel less like innocent observations and more like constant jabs.