Saying absolutely no way to a short Australian trip

[CapaciousMug]

DHs sister moved to the Gold Coast in Australia several years ago, she and her husband have 3 kids, 4, 6 and 7. DD is our only child. She turned 3 in August and is nursery now.
This year, DHs family are coming here. We haven't decided where we will have dinner yet, as my parents are local too.
Next year DH thinks we should go to Australia over new year, fly out Boxing Day and be back in time for school/work (he's a teacher) starting back. He doesn't want to do Christmas in Australia as it won't feel Christmasy.
Now obviously I can't see the flights for next year yet but based on this years. If we flew out Boxing Day, the earliest we'd arrive is late on the 27th, but that's on a few routes, we'd fly back on the Sunday the 5th, land in the UK early Monday morning and school/work goes back Tuesday.
I think this sounds ridiculously exhausting, especially to do every other year.
I'd rather we go before Christmas as I love Australia and love visiting and want DD to get to go. DH insists Christmas in Australia just wouldn't be Christmas.

AIBU to say no as this sounds exhausting and unfair on DD. I say we either go before Christmas and spend more like 2 weeks there or we don't go!

It Sounds like a quick turnaround to me. I found the jet lag crippling so I’d want a decent chunk of time to make it worthwhile.

Then let them cover over for a traditional drizzle and mild British Christmas.

I do not understand the horror some.people.feel about a "different" Christmas. I am from South Africa. Christmas in yhe sun is lovely. Christmas i England is great. I have spent Christmas in other European countries... all great (better than england to be frank- more snow!). We have various family from European countries who have come to SA and loved it.

I dint see why your dh can't have Christmas in Australia sometimes. I also think having all the Christmas madness then getting on a 24 hour flight?! Even without the jet lag... exhausting and stressful.

As an Australian who lives in Brisbane (about 1hr drive away from the Gold Coast) why would you want to visit in the heat and humidity of summer? It sucks. That Reddit link from @TheSandgroper is accurate. Saps the will to live. Come when the weather is nicer.

However if you do come then a lot of people like having a lot of fresh seafood for Christmas, or a BBQ, followed by pavlova. Others do a traditional roast meal and plum pudding. Lots of cold ham and salads too. Plenty of alcohol of course.

I wouldn't go at all at Christmas but bickering over a couple days here or there seems silly. I'm the one who 'fucked off overseas' - my husband and I are immigrants and both of our extended families are overseas. We are going back for our second Christmas next year - the first was 8 years ago. I see no reason to do that every year. The heat will be brutal and everyone will be exhausted.

I would set a different tradition from the start as I hate travelling over Christmas - everyone is in a terrible mood, it's crowded everywhere and it's silly money (I saw you aren't paying but it's still silly).

I don't however see any reason to think a couple extra days means anything. It's his family and his family's money so thats more on him really.

A relative does brutal short trips uk to Oz - however I think they handle disruption of sleep much better than average and it is to see their own child, so pretty essential.
I can't see any of you enjoying it, let alone your daughter, and - for me at least - it would distract from the loved 'traditional' Xmas Day just due to wondering if all was ready to go, and how much I had to get through before flying.
I would refuse, but if it's got to happen my guess is it will only happen once when your husband has lived the experience and returned to work exhausted.

@CapaciousMug I’ve that trip with my DD and it’s not Christmassy at all for my DS and her family.
We spent three weeks there, but spending 10 days your DH must be mad! You’ll spend 2 to 3 days getting over the jetlag. The flight cost rocket so much in that time Christmas/New Year’s Eve period!
Happy Christmas🎉

Rude and insulting to a whole nation to say their experience of Christmas isn't good enough for him. Maybe he should try it and see before he judges it.

It's not fair on the 4 year old to put them through such an unnecessary experience just because their father doesn't want to miss out on a proper Xmas.

We flew to Australia last year to visit family, flew economy there but upgraded to business class for the return flights.
Absolutely brutal flights, jetlag, adjustment to completely opposite weather, it's a lot for a short trip.

When my DD went to Aus it took her about a week to get over the jet lag from the flight and time difference both ends, when she got there and when she got home

It's totally do-able. You'll be slightly nocturnal for much of the trip, but that doesn't really matter. My shortest ever trip back was 6 nights.

WRT it not feeling Christmassy, I completely disagree ... and my husband and I often have this argument! I don't think it feels at ALL christmassy in the UK. Christmas is about BBQs, friends hanging out, theatre in the botanic gardens, picnics, long walks and beach cricket. In England, it feels so cold and miserable, and it's all about shopping and stress instead.

I'll add that it depends a lot on the school terms too. If he's finishing on the 21st and not back at school until the 9th January which has been the case for us, then flying on the 26th might be ok, whereas on other years they are back on the 3rd.

He's off his rocker. If you are going in December you need to go the day he breaks up, whether it's going to feel Christmassy or not.

Christmas isn't awful in Australia, it's just different.

Honestly, he's hardly suggesting you all hike up Everest. You're perfectly entitled to say it doesn't work for you, but it isn't actually impossible. I have done shorter trips to Aus - not ideal, but worth it for me to be able to see certain people.

Either go for the maximum stretch of the school holiday, or go in the schooo summer break.
why would you bother going for 5 days. what a waste of flights.

I have done shorter trips to Aus - not ideal, but worth it for me to be able to see certain people.

But that's not what is happening here. They are presumably going to have a nice time, not endure it.

You must admit going twelve thousand miles with a small child for five days isn't the norm. Especially when you have two weeks available to you.

It's really cheap to fly on Christmas day!

Your DH is being ridiculous though the jet lag would be immense! The best Christmas I ever had was in New Zealand it was amazing to be warm, go to the beach and to have a bbq!

It thought they were going to see husbands sister and family? And they'd be there for 9 or 10 days. I did say it wasn't ideal, and she is of course welcome to say 'no thank you husband, we will go for Christmas and min 2 weeks or not at all' - but i feel people are acting like this idea of his of a 10 day trip to aus is extraordinary torture. It is rushed, but I don't see a massive issue with it. I mean if you have to fit trips in to annual leave and school holidays I find most holidays are rushed!

My brother just came back from business trip in Aus. He was there less than 48h to attend 2 work related things. 4 days of travel for 2 days. Anyway, Maybe he should go by himself to visit his sister? That amount of time is ok for an adult but not sure with a child.

I've done it once for business. Flew on the fastest flight to Sydney, got off plane, went to a meeting, went to a hotel for a night, flee straight back. Bloody ridiculous. But I wasn't jetlagged!

I know - but I was responding to the comment about getting time off.

My DSD is out there now. Her flight was 16 hours non stop and it took her a few days to recover. There's no way I'd do it for a week. If you take away 2 days at the beginning and you need 2 days here to recover you are left with very little time. And it will be quite hot. I couldn't turn go back to work the day after returning.

He refuses to believe anything short of a full roast, carols at the local village green and bitterly cold walk after dinner can be anything close to Christmassy!

YANBU. I'd go in the summer holidays or even Easter.

I would assume that poster meant it's easy to get time off because it's the Easter holidays and he won't be at work?!

I'm Australian, 56 and have been doing the trip regularly since I was 9. All of what's left of my family live in Oz, I'm in the UK.

There is absolutely no way on Earth I'd do the trip for leisure purposes for less than 3 weeks. The last time I went for Christmas, on the outbound trip at the beginning of December, I caught a cold, that then developed into a bacterial infection of the windpipe. It took me a solid week on antibiotics to recover. The jet lag was horrendous, too.